Page 50 of Send It

Colson

I stare at the unopened text messages I sent Reiss over the past four days.

Colson

We need to talk about this.

Fuck man, I’m sorry. Please just let me explain.

Reiss, please. It’s not just some fling, it’s Lincoln. I swear to you I’ve never thought so hard about something in my life.

I should’ve told you. I was just afraid of how you’d react. I didn’t feel like I was good enough for her. I still don’t. She deserves the best and I know you don’t think that’s me. Hell, I don’t think that’s me.

I contemplate sending another but think better of it.

I want to talk to Reiss before I text Lincoln.

It feels wrong reaching out to her without having that conversation with him first because as much as I love her, I was Reiss’ friend first. Until that conversation is had, talking to Lincoln will feel like betraying him all over again.

I lay back against the couch watching one of Nana's game shows she’s obsessed with while she sits in the recliner next to me. My dad is busy in the kitchen debagging some takeout he ordered from the hibachi grill in town, when the doorbell rings.

Part of me wishes it is Lincoln, but the other part hopes it’s Reiss. The voice I hear in the foyer isn’t either of those.

It’s my mom.

“Why did you ring the doorbell?” My dad asks, “This is your house too.”

She steps inside and I watch her as she drops a designer bag to the ground. “It didn’t feel right to just walk in.”

Her presence kind of annoys me, “What are you doing here?”

“I came for your surgery tomorrow,” she states.

“Why? I didn’t ask you to come.”

She shakes her head, “You didn’t need to. I’m your mother. Dr. Marlow still has me on your contact list for emergencies and when you didn’t answer for your pre-op interview, they called me looking for you.”

My dad’s face falls, “You know about the surgery?”

“Yeah?” she says.

“Don’t you think that should have been something to discuss with me?” he asks, her face still buried in her phone like she could give two shits about what my dad is saying.

She rolls her eyes, “Don’t be dramatic, Brian. You were already here, I figured you knew.”

Dad and I share a glance and it’s a secret apology for not telling him about the surgery.

“You can leave,” I say. “I don’t want you here.”

She drops her phone to her side and she stares up at me, “Not you too! Why are you Raines men so damn moody all the time.”

“Gee I don’t know Mom, maybe it’s because we have a part time wife and mom who treats us like an afterthought.”

Nana snorts out a laugh from the recliner, earning a hateful stare from my mother.

“Colson,” she says, returning her stare to me. “What has gotten into you?”

I shake my head, limping over to the island where my truck keys are. “Just finally seeing people for exactly who they are instead of what I wish they would be.”

I scoop the keys up and head out the door. There’s no way I’m hanging around for this shit and thankfully my dad doesn’t stop me.

I slip into the driver's seat of my truck and crank the ignition. I don’t know exactly what my plan is, but when I drive and end up at the Banes’, I know it’s based on pure habit.

It’s my place. My happy place with my people.

Just as I’m pulling in the driveway, Lincoln walks out the door. She’s almost running and the protective part of me can’t help but swing open the door. “Are you okay?”

She runs straight to me and wraps me into a hug, her smaller body fitting exactly into me like a missing puzzle piece. “I’m okay. I was on my way to your house.”

She pulls back and I watch as she overthinks that hug and how far she needs to stand from me.

Which hurts because I don’t want her to be afraid to touch me.

“I love you, Colson. I know that you need to talk to Reiss and that this isn’t something I can help with or force, but I need you to know that my feelings aren’t just going to go away.

I can’t just bury how I feel to make Reiss feel better about us.

I know that he’s your best friend and he’s my brother but I can’t just turn it off. ”

She’s staring at me with desperation, a loving look in her eyes that no one else has ever given me. She’s fighting for us. I’ve never had anyone fight so hard for me. To care like she does. I mean this girl put my fucking shirt on her back to race for me and had her ribs broken.

“I love you, Lincoln,” I tell her, gripping her face between both my palms. “I don’t want you to turn it off.”

She jumps into my arms and I shift my weight onto my good leg as she wraps her legs around my waist, her lips falling onto mine.

“Ahem,” Reiss coughs causing Lincoln to pull away and my eyes to close with regret, allowing her legs to fall to the ground.

Shit.

“Lincoln, can you give us a minute?” Reiss says and his calmness is almost scary. I can tell Lincoln can sense it too.

She hesitates as she walks away from me and I wait until she’s inside before I turn toward Reiss, unsure of what to expect.

“I’m sorry about that. My mom came home so I got in my truck and just drove. I didn’t expect to come here. But when I pulled in I didn't expect Lincoln to be here. I thought she’d be at Lakeside.”

Reiss nods, “It’s fine. We need to talk anyway.”

“I know, I’m really—” I start, wanting to lead with an apology but Reiss cuts me off.

“No,” he starts. “I get to go first. I trusted you. I knew that in a room full of people talking shit about Reiss Bane you’d have my back and you did, I knew that you’d do whatever you could to help get me to Nationals and you did.

I just never in a million years would have thought that while I was getting ready for one of the biggest races of my life, my best friend would lie to me. ”

“I’m so sorry, Reiss. I swear I never meant for anything to happen with Lincoln. It just…”

He holds up his hand, “I’m not talking about Lincoln.”

My brows furrow and I wait as he looks at the ground disappointed, “You lied to me about your leg, and you let me believe that everything was fine when in reality you had a surgery scheduled and never planned on racing at Nationals. That is what I’m pissed off about.

I’m pissed that you thought that you couldn’t tell me the truth. ”

My shoulders sag, “Dude I just couldn’t do it. I tried to ride through the pain and telling you about my surgery felt like giving up on a dream we’ve had since we were little.”

He smiles softly, “Going pro like our dads.”

“Yeah,” I nod. “There’s only ever been one dream. Pro motocross, Bane Racing, and…”

“My sister,” he finishes, my heartbeat picking up with his realization.

I nod, “Telling you felt like giving up on that dream and I didn’t want you to be disappointed if I didn’t make it. Lincoln thought that if she could at least place on the podium for a race or two she could get me there. Then I could have my surgery and come back to the pro circuit."

“That could have happened. It almost did.” He says.

“But I couldn’t control my temper,” I whisper. “Had I not jumped on the track after Landon wrecked her, none of this would’ve happened. I planned to talk to you about Lincoln when we got back.”

“You jumped on the track because you care about my sister, you always have, and I do trust you when it comes to her. I just don’t know if I can trust you when it comes to us.”

“I promise that you can. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I should’ve come to you the second I started noticing a shift in mine and Lincoln’s relationship, but I was too scared. I didn’t want it to affect our friendship.”

He runs his hands down his face, “I just don’t know how to do this… be friends with my best friend who is also dating my sister. It’s weird.”

I shrug, “I don’t know. It’s new for all of us but I can promise you that it won’t be weird forever. It will eventually be just like it was before.”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “Except you will be having sex with my sister.”

“When you put it like that, it does seem weird for you,” I laugh. “Maybe there needs to be rules.”

He nods, “I think so.”