Page 22 of Send It

Colson

Lincoln passed out in the truck before we ever made it to my house.

I opened her door and tried my best to get her out without getting vomit on her.

I struggled carrying her to the basement couch because every time I stepped down on my leg it sent a stabbing pain all the way down to my ankle.

It felt like a screw driver was lodged in it and someone was twisting it every time I put pressure on it.

I didn’t care. She wasn’t going to sleep anywhere but in my arms.

I’d never wanted to drag someone out of Lakeside before but Jackson Fairbanks better be counting his blessings tonight. Actually, fuck it, I still might kick his ass. I know damn well what his intention was, and it irritates me that Reiss is so blind.

The notion of what might’ve happened had I not been there hangs in my mind as I watch her chest rise and fall. Someone taking advantage of Linc upsets me. Doesn’t matter if it’s sexually or emotionally.

I hobble over to the couch and lift her head up off the pillow and slip down under her, laying her head back on my lap. I drag my rough fingers through her hair, and softly laugh at how windblown and tangly it is. Stassie would’ve brushed it by now but Lincoln is different. She’s perfect.

She’s wild and feisty. She’s girly but rough around the edges. She’s the girl that is going to absolutely wreck me.

“I love you,” I hear her mumble, her eyes barely opening to see me. “I do, Colson. I love you.”

Her voice is gravely and even a little slurred but I have no doubt that she means what she says.

Unlike other girls, Lincoln saves her words until she feels the person deserves them.

She doesn’t yap all the time, so when she does speak to you, you know that it is important.

Even still, hearing those words leave her lips stun me.

“I don’t want you to say it back,” she slurs. “I don’t need you to say it back to me, but you needed to know it, dipshit.”

I laugh softly, “Is that the liquor talking?”

She tilts her brows in, “No, it’s Lincoln. I’m Lincoln not Liquor.”

The way she annunciates her name makes me smile. I take my index finger and gently rake it down her forehead to the tip of her nose, watching as her eyes close. Doing it over and over again until she’s back asleep.

“I love you, Lincoln Bane.” I whisper, knowing damn well she can’t hear me, but also knowing how fucking true those words are. How long they’ve been true. For as long as I can remember.

I will continue to love her for as long as I’m breathing I’m afraid.

The next morning I wake with a crick in my neck and an empty lap. Lincoln appears in the room with wet hair and only the t-shirt that I was wearing yesterday covering her body, her legs bare beneath it.

“Hi,” she whispers, her feet fidgeting nervously against one another. “I’m really sorry about last night. I got up and cleaned your car.”

I groan, “How are you even moving, Lincoln? I thought you were on the verge of death last night. You really worried everyone.”

“I drank too much.” She waves me off, “No harm done.”

I lift one of my brows, “You hit the floor so hard we all thought you were dead, or at the very least severely concussed.”

“Lesson learned,” she shrugs, looking down at my leg. “How did you carry me in here? Where is your boot?”

I shrug, “I’ve been walking for months without it, what’s a few more weeks?”

She growls, “You are impossible. How are you supposed to get better if you don’t listen to Dr. Marlow?”

“Stop trying to turn this around on me,” I scowl. “You are the one that was so drunk I had to carry you in last night.”

Her eyes turn sad, “I don’t know why I drank so much. I was just feeling confused.”

“So you thought you’d be less confused if you were drunk?” I question her. “Cause that makes a lot of sense.”

“I was upset, Colson!” She snaps. “Everything has been so hot and cold with you. One second you’re kissing me, telling me you want to be with me, and the next you act like you could care less about who is kissing me.”

I feel the rage begin to bubble up inside of me, “Who did you kiss?”

“No one,” she admits. “But you made it clear to Reiss you didn’t care what I did. If that’s the way you really feel, then what does it matter who I hang out with, or who I sleep with?”

“God damnit, Lincoln. I was upset over Jackson’s hat on your head. Imagine if he were to touch you! I’d lose my fucking mind.”

“You don’t want to be with me but no one else can have me, is that it?”

I think about those words, really think about them. She’s right. I can’t expect her to wait around for me while I muster up the courage to wreck my friendship with Reiss. It’s not fair to her. I can’t do that.

“You’re right, Linc. I’m sorry, okay. I care about you.

More than you could ever imagine. I’m in a tough spot here, Reiss and I have been friends for a long ass time.

I feel like when I’m with you I’m the absolute best version of myself.

I have been a part of your life for a long time, and I want to continue to be here for you. ”

She blinks at me, tearfully silent. “Just not the way I need you to.”

“It’s not because I don’t want to,” I shake my head. “You have to believe that.”

Her expression turns to pleading, “Colson, we can figure this out together. We can’t just bury this.”

I hate the way she says it, like it’s final. Like she thinks I want to bury the idea of us. It’s the last thing I want, but it’s the only option here. The only option where I get to keep my best friend and Lincoln in my life at some capacity.

“It’s not goodbye, Lincoln. Please don’t look at me like that.”

I hate the way tears fall from her beautiful dark eyes, “It feels like it.”

Unable to stop myself, I pull her into my chest.

I kiss her. I basically melt into her, into us. It completely muddles everything I just said and although those things are still there, hanging over us, this feels right. Knowing how she feels about us, that she loves me, makes this moment feel right even though I know it isn’t.

Every touch is made with unspoken promises. It’s almost as if I’m saying goodbye for now, but not forever.

The night at the lakehouse is forever burned into my mind, but this is different. Every breath and look holds a purpose that I can’t quite put my finger on.

It’s hot and heavy but this isn’t about just fucking Lincoln. It’s about loving her.

In one fell swoop, I pull my shirt over her head exposing her naked body before me. She doesn’t waste any time undressing me and when we tumble to the couch, we take a moment to stare at each other. Like we’re silently admiring the other.

Her small body looks soft against my larger, muscular one and my breath hitches when she rubs her clit against my cock.

“Jesus, Linc. I need a condom. I don’t have one in here.”

She holds her tiny finger to my lips and pushes down on my lap until I’m buried all the way inside her, “Shhh…”

When she rolls her hips against me, I feel every single ounce of self control leave my body. I’ve never been inside anyone bare like this.

Her hand snakes around the back of my neck, threading through the hair at the base of my scalp that is beginning to curl up, and I drop my lips against her bare breast.

I suck and nip at her nipple until she starts to moan breathlessly. “Colson, Cols… Oh God, yes.”

Pulling back, I take my hand and tilt her head to where she’s looking at me. “I want to watch you when you come, baby.”

I place my hands on her hips and rock her back and forth, our eyes never leaving each other. It’s painfully slow and each thrust feels deeper than the one before. “Colson, it’s so…”

“I know,” I say breathlessly. “I want you to come for me, I want it to always be me.” A couple more strokes and I feel her entire body begin to shake with pleasure. The way her tits glisten in this lighting along with the way her eyes darken when she cries out, make me lose it.

I groan with a pleasure I’ve never experienced, and I don’t pull out in time.

Her tight pussy sucks the tip of my dick completely dry and I wrap my arms around her waist as her head falls down on my shoulder, neither of us bothering to move an inch.

We just sit there like that. Close. A piece of me inside her, and a piece of her inside my chest.

I fall even deeper.

I will love her until I stop breathing, but it is clear that it’s better to love her from a distance. It’s obvious that I don’t know how to not choose Lincoln Bane.

I’d wreck everything for this girl, and if I don’t put some distance between us, I’m gonna wreck my friendship with Reiss.