Page 33

Chapter 33

Haden; 7 years later

M y body ached as I opened my eyes. I glanced up at the cliff high above me, the one I had just hurled myself off of. Like all the other attempts to end it all, I failed and didn’t die. Fucking Ardella had stolen my only way out of this shitty life when she saved me.

I groaned as I stood up like I hadn’t just jumped from a cliff. My body ached, but I could not die, no matter how many times I tried. It had been seven years since Ardella took everything away from me.

Images of her crying and begging me not to leave her plagued me, but I shoved them away.

Her words from that night replayed over and over in my head. My chest ached like it did every time I thought about what she did to me. Part of me couldn’t believe that I made it seven years without her. Then the logical part of my brain kicked in. I should not miss a woman who was a cruel, heartless monster.

“I fucking hate you,” I hissed to the sky, hoping she heard me. “I hope you are fucking miserable wherever you are. You are a coward to never show your face to me!”?

She had not shown herself once in the past seven years. I didn’t feel her lurking in the shadows, and I hadn’t felt her close to me since the night she murdered Remy. I walked through the silent woods toward the small cabin I lived in. It was secluded and away from everyone, far from my old life.

Ardella was probably living a wonderful fucking life. She had probably forgotten about how she murdered Remiah and that she ripped apart my entire fucking heart and lit it on fire. I hated myself for missing her. I hated myself for wondering where life could have been now if she hadn’t destroyed us.?

I sighed heavily as the tugging in my chest became too much. Gods, it felt like I was going to fucking die. I prayed I would. This life was like living in fucking hell, my own personal one. I had just started walking again when dark clouds suddenly moved over me. For a brief moment I glanced around, wondering if it was her. Was this her storm that moved across the sunny sky? I let myself be hopeful for a moment before wrath like I had never felt before gripped that hope and tore it into tiny shreds.

Ardella did not deserve my hope. She didn’t get my happiness. She didn’t get to have any part of me ever again. A sudden, sharp pain deep in my chest had me bending over to catch my breath. Fuck, that hurt. When I glanced up toward my cabin, I felt dread. Loneliness was the worst torture on a soul.

The silence was the worst part of it. I woke up each morning to a deafening silence. I went to bed with the same thing. I did not look forward to anything. My life was pointless. I started walking forward again.?

A flash of red stopped me immediately as I approached my cabin. A moment later, Nev popped his head around the corner. Relief filled me for a brief moment before irritation. I was not sure I could handle Nev and his crazy fucking plans today. The man was always scheming, and I did not want to be involved in it.?

“You look like shit.” Nev eyed me.

“Thanks.” I glared. “What do I owe the pleasure of your visit to?” I sighed as I walked inside. Nev followed without an invitation, which was nothing new. The guy really fucking annoyed me, but he was the only one that seemed to know I was alive and that checked on me. It was the only time my home was not silent.?

“I have a business opportunity for us.” His blue eyes shone brightly.

“No thanks.” I tossed my boots off and sat on my chair, where I would probably sit until I passed out. Gods, this guy really was fucking persistent. I stared up at him as he watched me curiously.

“You didn’t even hear me out.” Nev glared as he stole my bread and ate it. “We can make a lot of money.”

“I have no use for money.” I had no one to spend it on.

Nev rolled his eyes and walked toward the front door like he might leave, but instead, he shut the door and turned toward me with a mischievous smile.

“Everyone has a need for money.” He watched me as I ignored him before sighing. “Alright, what about a need for a wish?”

Great, he had completely gone mad since I saw him last. I said nothing. His eyes looked at me carefully as I watched. Nev was completely crazy. I knew this, and I should have told him to get the fuck away from me. Maybe I will move. Yeah, I could pack up my belongings and move away so he could never find me again . Gods, that sounded fucking tempting.?

“Crimson is doing trials, and the winners get a wish granted,” he said.?

I stared at him, wondering if I should kick him out or if I should indulge in this madness. Fuck it, I was bored.

“How hard are these trials?” I asked, intrigued.

“Hard, but Prince Jesper asked for me to go help stop one of the other contestants from finishing. He said I could bring a friend.” His eyes glanced at my sad cabin before looking back at me. “It’s not like you’re doing anything else with your time.”

Prince Jesper. Why the hell would he care about the Crimson trials? Jesper was not his father in the slightest. He would be a poor ruler when the time came, which seemed to be soon because his father was ill. Maybe I should leave Kizar before he ruins it. Crimson sounded nice.?

“Who is the contestant we’re stopping?”

“Thea Alzara from Cerithia.”

Something about the name stuck out to me, but I couldn’t place my finger on it. There was an itch in my brain like a memory would surface, but nothing did. Gods, I felt like this was important.

You need to go, the void said. He had gone missing after Remiah died.

Where have you been?

Nothing.

I had no idea who this woman was, and I wasn’t sure why I was so fixated on her name like I knew her.

“A woman.” I didn’t know how I felt about this. What did it even mean, that we needed to kill her? “I don’t want to hurt her.”

“We don’t have to kill her. We just need to fuck with her so that she doesn’t finish. Come on, man, I could use a wish, and so could you.”

Maybe I could wish to go back to the night of the fire. Then I could prevent it. I wouldn’t have to lose Della. I could save Remy, and Della would still be mine. I wouldn’t have to fight these overwhelming emotions for her. What would my life look like now if I had never lost Remy and Ardella seven years ago? Better than this hell I had been living in, this very lonely hell. The hell that made me dream of a woman I could never have every single fucking night.

“Fine.”

“I fucking knew you’d pull through,” he said with a smile. “Pack your bags; we’re leaving in the morning.”I watched him leave and said nothing else to him. A wish. I would wish to go back to the night of the fire. I would not go to sleep. I would make Remy leave and go see Mikel. I would not have to lose Ardella. I would not have to tell her I hated her even though I loved her. I would not have to live with her betrayal. I would not have to hear her tell me she loved me out of desperation. I would be able to tell her that I loved her back.

When I glanced around the cabin I was living in, reality hit me. I was completely alone. The only fae that knew I even lived here was Nev, and even that was not comforting. Della had ripped everything away from me. Not only Remiah, but the life I had imagined with Della. A life I thought I would be blessed with because of all the pain and suffering I had endured. But I didn’t know my life could be so much worse than it was growing up. I didn’t know that the woman I loved with every fiber of my body would completely cause havoc.

My eyes closed tightly, and Ardella’s face haunted me. I tried to shake it from my mind, but I couldn’t.

I hate her. I hate her. I hate her , I reminded myself.

?★★★?★★★?

Nev’s words played on repeat in my mind as I walked Thea back to her room after dinner. I knew she was uncomfortable with me following her. I was not getting any pleasure from causing her discomfort, but I needed that wish. If that meant that she had to be weirded out by me, then so be it.

“Thanks. Goodnight,” she said quickly as she opened her door.

I grabbed her arm before she could leave. Fuck, I didn’t like doing this.

“I’m glad you decided to form an alliance with us.” I smiled.

“Let go of me,” she said, struggling to get her arm free.

“I’m not the enemy here, Thea. You can trust me.” I gave her a sinister look. “You do trust me, right?”

"Haden, you're hurting me. Let go." My smile only grew more wicked the more she struggled against me. Frost moved over the sleeve of her cloak. I could feel her fear.?

“Is there a problem?” Cassius stood ten feet away in the shadows. I hadn’t heard him, and apparently neither did she. I plastered a friendly smile onto my face and summoned my frost magic back.

“Just saying goodnight after hanging out with my girl.” The phrase made my insides twist with guilt, like I was betraying Della. Which pissed me off.

“She’s not your girl,” he snapped back.

“Or yours, apparently.” It was clear that he had some odd infatuation with her. I saw the way he watched her closely. The Crimson captain had a crush on her.?

Cassius shifted his eyes to Thea before focusing on me again, his mouth in a hard-pressed line. After a moment, I lifted my hands in a sign of defeat and stepped away from her because he looked like he might rip my fucking head off.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, friend ,” I said to Thea. I only made it a few steps away before Cassius hissed my name. I stopped, and we stared at each other.

"If you touch Thea like that again, I'll rip the arms from your body."

I glared at Thea over his shoulder. I knew without a doubt that he would rip me to tiny pieces for the woman. "Somebody sure is possessive over something that doesn't belong to them," I taunted him. His fists clenched, but I turned and disappeared.?

I did not make it very far before I heard him coming up behind me. When I turned, Cassius’ eyes were pure black. I didn’t even have time to react as he grabbed me by the neck, lifting my feet off the ground. As he went to slam me onto the ground, his shadows moved us out of the castle and deep into the woods.?

My back slammed into the ground, making me groan in pain. Cassius stood up and towered over me.?

“Stand up so I can kick your fucking ass,” he sneered.?

I was looking for a fucking fight. I stood up and shot my frost magic out and tried to freeze him to his spot, but Cassius shot his shadows out to block it, which gave me the perfect opportunity to punch him in the face.?

He stumbled, and I tackled his ass to the ground. I punched him again and again before he finally punched me, knocking me off of him.?

“Fuck.” I grabbed my face as we both struggled to stand. Cassius’ chest was heaving as we stared each other down.?

“I know you are here to stop her from completing the trials.” There was a flash of hurt in his eyes as he said it that made me pause. Misery recognized misery. “You aren’t Cerithian, so which kingdom is teaming up with Luren this time?”?

I hesitated, confused. Something inside of me told me to tell him.

“Kizar.”?

His jaw clenched tightly.?

“Jesper?” he said.?

I nodded.?

“That little fucking bastard. What did he offer you?”?

“Nothing. Nev approached me and said we got a wish. I need that wish,” I confessed.?

Cassius shook his head.?

“There is no wish.” He looked over at me. “These trials are so Thea will break her curse.”?

Why did this sound familiar? Disappointment coursed through me when I realized my only chance at fixing my shitty life was not real. I stared at him and realized he was possessive of her because he was in love with her.?

“You do love her.”?

Cassius sighed heavily.?There had been rumors going on with the contestants, but as soon as they started, the Crimson contestants had stopped them.

“Of course I do. She is my wife.” He stared at me. “She just doesn’t remember; that is why we are doing these trials, so she will break the curse and come home to me.”?

“But isn’t she from Cerithia?”?

“Yes, it's a long story.” Cassius looked at me with defeat in his eyes. “You have two options. You keep helping your fucking psychotic friend, Nev, and I will skin you both alive. Or you switch sides and help my wife come back to me.”?

“Why would I do that?”?

Cassius looked at me.?

“Because you pity me, and I am so tired of doing these trials. I will give you anything you want if you switch sides and help me.”?

I wasn’t sure what to do.?Did Nev know that she was his wife? I would have never agreed to help him if I had known that this man was suffering like this. I could feel his desperation—his devastation.

“Or I can kill you right fucking now.” His eyes flashed black as I took too long to answer him.?

“Nev is not my friend.” I smiled and saw a bit of relief flit through his golden eyes. “I will help you if you promise me that I can start over in Crimson. I want a job in the guard and a big piece of property of my choosing.”?

“That is all you want?” Cassius questioned.?His dark brow raised at my odd request.

“No, but it's the only thing you can give me, unless you can bring someone back from the dead and change the fact that the woman I loved destroyed me?”?

Cassius stared at me oddly. I could see questions swarming in his eyes, but he wouldn’t ask. ?

“A fresh start in Crimson it is.” Cassius looked around us before looking at me. He seemed to hesitate for a long time. “I know a goddess; she’s become a friend since Thea’s curse. I can ask her to help you if she can.”?

“I don’t know if a goddess would be able to change fate.”?

“Ardella probably could.”?

I instantly stilled at her name falling from his mouth. He noticed the shift in my mood. He cocked his head to the side.?No one had said her name out loud in front of me in seven years. But I also really fucking hated that this prince of Crimson knew my Ardella on such a personal level that he thought she would help him.

I could not stop feelings of jealousy pumping through me. He had seen her. She hid from me, yet she let this guy see her? That really pissed me off. I swallowed down the wrath bubbling up inside of me. Gods, I willed the void to come out and take over so I would not lose my fucking shit, but like the last seven years, he stayed hidden away. Not once had he come out to help me. It was stupid to think, but I truly wondered if he was pissed at me for hating Ardella.

“Are you alright?”

“I don’t need help from her ,” I said with so much venom that he immediately narrowed his eyes at my reaction.

“You know her already?”

“Yes, and I don’t need anything from her,” I hissed.

Cassius threw his hands up and nodded. I sighed heavily as I closed my eyes and ran my hands through my hair, trying to keep myself in fucking control. When I opened them, Cassius was watching me with confusion in his eyes. Could he recognize that we both shared the same misery?

“You lied,” he said, confidently. Before I could say anything, he continued. “You said your surname was Winters during check-in, but it is Vale. Isn’t it?”

“How—”

He chuckled softly before muttering something toward the sky. His gaze met mine. “I was starting to think Della was wrong all those years ago.”

“I don’t understand. She told you about me?” I watched him curiously.

He nodded. “Yes. She said you’d come and that you are important.”

My chest felt warm at his words. Cassius rubbed a mark I had not noticed on his wrist before—four orange stars in a row on his wrist.

“What is that mark?” I asked.

Cassius looked down before giving me a concerned look.

“I made a star bargain with Della when Thea was cursed.” He looked over me oddly. “Della said you and I would become very good friends, so good that we would consider each other family." Cassius seemed to be thinking about something. "She had a message for you when you came to Crimson.”

“She did?” I stepped forward.

“That Crimson is your new home. You will be very happy here.”

I stared at him. How did she know years ago that I would come here—that I was searching for a new place to call home? My gaze fell to the mark on his wrist, and the void seemed concerned about it.

Ask him what the bargain was for. Gods do not make those unless it is serious. The void almost sounded worried.

“What was the bargain you made?”

Cassius sighed heavily before rubbing the back of his neck. His gaze met mine. “She wouldn't take Thea’s soul, and I had to do two things in return. First, I had to give you anything you would need to start over here. And the second one…” His gaze looked away from me. “I had to keep her secrets for her.”

What the fuck does that mean? The void was not impressed.

“What does that mean?”

“It means that Della went to great lengths to hide something, even from herself, and when the time is right, I will break the magic binds she put on herself.”

Damn it, Storm. What did she do?

“Tell me.” I demanded.

He shook his head. “I can’t because I do not know what it is. She didn’t share. I’m sorry, but that is all I can say.”

The void was angry, but he retreated back into the dark depths and disappeared.

“Okay, fine. I don’t care. She can stay far away from me.”

“Well, you’ll end up seeing her if you stay,” Cassius warned me.

I could not stop the feeling of excitement that pumped through me, but I stopped it just as quickly as it started.

“Why?”

“She is trying to help as much as she can. I don’t know why. I owe her everything for not taking Thea away. But if I am honest, she seems like she is the one that owes me something. It is like she wants to make this right even though it isn’t her fault. Maybe because her asshole brother is to blame for my wife being like this.”

“Mikel?” I asked. Images of Remiah immediately ran through my mind.

“The one and only asshole.” Cassius frowned. “It’s not typical for fae to just know gods.” It was a question, but one I wasn’t sure I knew how to answer.

“No, it's not.”

“You don’t have to tell me, but Ardella will be around, and you need to be nice to her. She has been through a lot.”

I scoffed.

“Did she tell you that?” I asked.

“No. I can see it in her eyes. You will know what I mean when you see her. She is haunted by something, and she is desperate for Thea and me to both survive and live a happy life.”

I swallowed down my emotions. She was haunted by what she did to me.

“Fine, I will try my best.”

Cassius walked forward and stuck out his hand. I shook it and smiled.

“You are a Crimson Guard from this moment on, and as your prince, I am ordering you to keep your future queen alive.”

I smiled as I felt his power pulsing from him.

“We have a deal, Cassius. My only job is to keep your wife alive.”