Page 11

Chapter 11

Della

“ I feel like I haven’t seen you.” Mikel looked at me skeptically when I came home to take a bath and grab some clothes. I grabbed a dress and held it so my ring was covered from him.

“I know, I have been hanging out with—”

“Penelope,” he said in a way that made me look up at him. “Are you sure that is who you are going to see?”

I was going to have to tell my brother eventually, but I did not feel like having this conversation right now.

“Yes.”

Mikel frowned. “You know you can talk to me about anything, right? If maybe you are seeing someone that isn’t Penelope, I won’t judge you.”

I gave him a pointed look.

“You are literally the God of Judgment.”

He waved his hand. “You know what I mean.” He looked over at me like he could see I was different. “I won’t press it because I know that you’d tell me if you wanted me to know. But just know that I am here for you—always. Nothing will ever change that.”

“I know.” I smiled. Mikel wandered out of the room, slow enough to give me a chance to tell him what he wanted to know, but eventually he was gone. I glanced around, realizing I would not be living here after I married Haden. Would Mikel be alright being alone? He was going to love Haden’s family— soon to be my family. He might want to move to Elloryon to be close to us. Besides, if I met my mate, then Mikel should meet his soon, I would think.

I glanced in the mirror again to make sure I looked alright for Haden. I swallowed hard as that odd feeling overcame me again. For the past hour I had not been feeling well, like something was wrong. Something felt out of place.? At first, I thought it was keeping this secret from Mikel, but something like dread filled me to the point that I knew it was something else. A sharp pain slammed into my chest so forcefully that I dropped the dress in my hands as I fell to the floor. Fuck. I rubbed my chest, hoping it would pass.

Ardella!

Standing up, I grabbed my head as Holden’s voice pierced into my mind. What was happening?

Ardella!

I stumbled into the wall as the sound echoed around me. Fear froze me in place as I realized something was happening. I left everything as I summoned my star mist. When it moved away, I was in the field by Haden’s house. I frantically began looking around for the source of Holden’s panicked call. There was a faint sound of pain coming from somewhere in front of me, but I couldn’t see in the dark. I shot my starlight out to help me find him. A gasp escaped me when I saw his boots sticking out of the tall grass.

“Holden?” I hurried over to him and saw how much blood he was losing. “Oh, my gods! Holden, hold on.”

I fell to my knees and ripped open his tunic to see several stab wounds. Just as I was about to heal him, I heard another sound that sent a spike of fear straight to my core. It was Haden’s soft whisper close by. Panic raced through my chest as I froze. Maybe I was hearing things.

“Storm.” His pained sob made me realize I was not hearing things.

“No,” I scrambled to find him in the tall grass. It was hard to see anything in the darkness even with my magic illuminating the area. “Haden, where are you?” I cried out. Frantically, I started walking through the grass, begging the stars to help me find him.

I heard him let out a small whimper of pain somewhere close to me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw his hand sticking out of the grass. Rushing to him, I fell on my knees.

“No, Haden, please stay with me,” I begged. I ripped open his tunic and saw the same wounds as Holden. Who the fuck did this? I was sobbing as I tried to stop the blood. Haden was gasping for a breath. I could feel death lurking nearby.?My head was shaking back and forth as I tried to comprehend what was happening.

I grabbed his face, and blood ran out of his mouth.

“Haden, please do not leave me. You promised you’d never leave.”

“I—” He coughed up blood. I tried to use my magic on Haden, but nothing was happening. Why wasn’t it healing him? Then I felt it, that tugging of my mating bond with Holden. No. I tried to heal Haden again, but nothing happened. The tugging on the mating bond was so forceful now that I knew it would not allow me to save him until I had saved Holden first.

“Haden, I will be right back. I have to save Holden first; my magic won't work on you until I do. I love you; hold on for me.”

I laid his hand on the ground and rushed back to Holden. I could feel his soul slipping away. Tears blurred my vision as I realized how much magic it would take to save him. Quickly I released my power and slammed it into him. My starlight frantically raced through his veins, healing every wound it could find. After a minute, my magic slammed back into me, knocking me backward. I groaned as I tried to move toward Haden. My body and mind were exhausted from saving Holden.

“Haden!” I begged. With every ounce of energy I had left, I began crawling toward him. But I had only made it a foot before I noticed a soft orange glow next to me.

When I turned to look, a violent sob tore through me, and the entire realm shook with thunder at my grief. Haden’s soul form was kneeling next to me, watching me desperately trying to get to him.

“No, no, no, no,” I begged. “You can’t die!” Finally, I reached his body and pulled him to me. I buried my face in his unmoving chest. I grabbed his arm and wrapped it around me, begging him to hold me. I could hear my pleading, but I felt as if I was not in my own body as I held Haden. The fates were being too cruel. He didn’t deserve to die.

“I’m sorry, please don’t take him,” I called out. I’m sorry I changed fate. I’m sorry I loved him when I was never supposed to, but this was too much of a punishment. “I will never forgive you if you take him from me!” I yelled to the heavens.

My face fell back to his still chest, and I breathed in the smell of a frosty winter morning, but it was not bringing me comfort.

“Storm.” Haden’s soul spoke softly. When I glanced up at him, he was crying. “It’s alright. You need to let me go.”

I realized I was gripping his soul tightly in my hand. I shook my head.?If I let him go, he wouldn’t come back.

“Please don’t leave me here alone,” I cried. “What am I supposed to do without you?”

“You know I don’t have a choice.” He frowned as his head tilted to the side. “I can’t stay now.”

I stared at him and wondered how I could ever let go.

“I will not survive without you.”

“You’re wrong. You are so strong, Della.”

“Fine, then I don’t want to survive without you. If I didn’t have this stupid bond, I would have been able to save you.”

“I am glad you saved Holden. I am not upset with you.” He was being too fucking understanding.

“I am upset with myself!”

Anger and grief created the perfect storm inside of me when I saw the stupid golden glow of the bond. I released Haden’s physical body and grabbed the bond, yanking on it. Haden looked at me sadly as I summoned lightning into my palm. I shaped it like a knife before picking it up and slicing through the bond connecting me to Holden.

It exploded in a shower of golden sparks, shockwaves radiating out from the cut. The ripples of power knocked down trees—it even collapsed Haden’s home. All of his hard work was gone in an instant. Our home lay in a pile of rubble. A sharp, unforgiving pain stabbed into me as the severed ends of the bonds retreated in a snakelike fashion back into each of us. We were no longer connected.

Haden’s soul was standing above me.

“Storm, I promise if I come back, the heavens and stars will not keep me from finding you.” I reached out for him so that he couldn’t leave. “I love you. I love you so much that I will recognize it in the next life. Death cannot take my love for you away from me. I'm sorry it had to be this way."

“Wait!” I yelled. The chunk of mating bond was still gripped in my fingers, and I cut off part of it. The small piece of it glowed brightly in the palm of my hand. This should have always been Haden’s bond. I looked up at Haden’s soul as he watched me curiously. His eyes traced over me before looking at the bond in my hand.

“Della?” He wanted to know what I was doing with that. I opened my mouth to tell him, but no words formed. My mind was not thinking clearly. Haden leaned down toward me to see what I was doing. The closer he got to me, the more my bond pulsed in my hand. It was like it knew that it belonged to him.

“I do not trust fate to not mess this up again,” I finally whispered. "I will never leave this to chance."

Haden looked me in the eyes, confusion swarming in them. I knew I was changing fate. I knew the stars and heavens would be angry. I did not fucking care.

“I am all in,” I said as I grabbed his soul, yanking him closer before I slammed the mating bond into him. He fell to his knees next to me, and I gripped his soul tighter.

“I’m sorry,” I cried as I tore a piece away from him. Its orange glow burned brightly in my hand, pulsing with his power. I looked at Haden when he looked so confused about what I was doing. If I made him my mate, then he wouldn't die. But if I had a piece of his soul, then when he was reborn, he would be drawn to me because of it. Maybe it would lead him back to me.

I took a deep breath before slamming the piece of his soul into my chest.

Pain seared through me as his soul wrapped itself tightly within mine, like it knew that’s where it belonged the entire time. Haden looked at me before the bond that snapped between us. It glowed bright gold and calmed my frantic heart. Relief filled me. The heavens would not take my mate. He would be alright. Haden sighed, relieved, as if he felt how euphoric our bond felt. The bond was glowing so brightly that it lit up the entire area around us.

“Haden,” I breathed when his eyes met mine.

“Storm,” Haden said, fear evident in his ghostly eyes. Suddenly, he burst into a million tiny specks of light. The mating bond severed, slamming into me again and dying as Haden’s soul disappeared. The pain of losing Haden raced through my veins, scorching grief into my bones.

I yelled my pain into the stars and heavens. It didn’t change anything, though. Haden was dead. Haden was gone. Tears poured from me as a sudden storm appeared over us. I curled against Haden’s dead body, putting his arm around me again, burying my face into his chest, and inhaling the scent of home. And even though I knew he was dead, I couldn’t help but worry that he would get cold in the storm, so I covered him as much as I could.

I could hear the movement of someone coming closer to me, and I opened my eyes thinking it was Haden. But disappointment coursed through me when I saw Holden. Tears streamed down my face as he watched me cling to Haden. My gaze shifted when I saw cloaked figures standing at the edge of the woods. They were gone in the blink of an eye, and I was too caught up in grief to care.

“Ardella?” I glanced up at Holden when he started crying uncontrollably at the sight of Haden’s body. I rested my head on his chest, thinking that at any moment it would start moving again. He just left, and I already miss him so much. I felt hollow, like my heart and soul had been cut from me. There was a shuffle as Holden knelt on the other side of Haden, crying as he held his hand.

I stared at the side of Haden’s face. He looked like he was sleeping. I reached up and touched his cheek, thinking maybe he would wake up and tell me I was in a terrible dream. When he didn’t, I swallowed hard.

“Please open your eyes,” I whispered. “I do not like this dream. Wake me up.”

Holden perked up like he heard something. He was looking behind me, but I did not care who or what it was.

“Holden?” I heard Sara yell.

“Haden!” Penelope and Henry were calling out.

Holden stood up and raced to his family, but I didn’t leave Haden.?

“What happened? You guys were supposed to show up for dinner.” Henry’s voice sounded like Haden’s, and it shot pain through me.

“We got attacked by these cloaked fae.” Holden was struggling to speak. “Della saved me, but...” he started crying loudly.

“But what?” Penelope asked frantically. He couldn’t compose himself enough to speak. "What happened?" she yelled, her voice full of fear.

“Where is Haden?” Henry asked frantically. “Haden!” He called out.

“Della!” Penelope called out to me, but I did not have the energy to call out to her. “Please, Holden, tell us!” She cried out. "Where is Haden!"

“Haden is dead,” he said between sobs.

“No, he can’t be,” Henry said, his voice coming out angry from the fear. I heard them walking toward us frantically. Then their footsteps stopped, and I could hear one of them breathing heavily as they processed what they were seeing.

“What happened!” Penelope screamed, her shock not letting her process what was happening.

I closed my eyes tightly, knowing that their hearts were being ripped out of them too.

“No!” Penelope’s scream tore from her as she and Henry fell to their knees next to us. They grabbed his hand and immediately realized that he had been gone for a while. Henry pulled Penelope into his chest as she cried out for Haden to open his eyes. She looked down at me and cried, “What happened?”

“I tried to save them both, but I couldn’t,” I sobbed out. “I was too late to save him.”

Penelope looked at me, holding onto Haden like a lifeboat in a stormy sea. She rubbed the wet hair from my face as I sobbed louder. Henry reached down and gripped my hand in his.?Both of them watched Haden’s face for a moment before looking at me.

“We should get you out of the rain,” he said softly. But I shook my head. “Ardella, I know you don’t want to let go of him, but you have to.”?

I knew I needed to. But this was the last time I would feel him against me. I wish I had the gift of time so I could go back and stop this. Sitting up, I looked at his handsome face. He looked as if he were sleeping. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his forehead, recoiling from how cold his skin was. My fingers traced over his face, trying to remember the way he felt against my fingertips. I pushed his soft hair from his forehead, trying to memorize the way it slipped through my fingers.

My gaze drifted to the ring he gave me today, and I started crying again. Emotions crashed into me, suffocating the sobs that wanted to come up. He was alive this morning. He proposed this morning. I stared at him. How could he be dead? I could feel his family watching me. They could leave me out here until I rotted away.

“I love you,” I whispered. My broken mind waited for a moment to make sure he wasn’t going to say it back. Slowly, I released my grip on him, wanting to pull away from Henry and Penelope so I could curl back against him, missing the way he felt. I realized I would crave that feeling of him for the rest of my existence.

I noticed there were others in the field with us. I did not know when they arrived, but they all stared at me with pity. They moved toward Haden to retrieve his body. I took a step toward him, not wanting to let him go, but a hand reached out and gripped me. Holden was staring at me, and it was a gut punch. He looked so much like Haden but so different.

Holden was staring at me, and he was a reminder that Haden had to die because I had a stupid bond with him. “Let them take him,” he said gently.

I nodded and watched the love of my life being hauled away. I didn’t know what to do. It was as if time itself had frozen because it knew the realm should not move on without Haden in it. Holden gripped my hand in his to keep me from collapsing.

“Let’s go to the house and get you warm,” Sara said as she came up on the other side of me, wrapping her arm around my shoulders. I nodded, and together, we walked in silence to the house, like we all died with Haden. This was all wrong.

Everyone was crying, but somehow their focus was on me, like I was going to die next. Gods can’t die, but right then, I wished I could.

I sat on the couch, not remembering anything about the walk there. Haden’s perfect face plagued me. It was only this morning that he asked me to marry him. Why did that feel like a lifetime ago? I twisted the ring on my finger as our last morning together played out in my mind. Every kiss, every touch, and every word repeated like my own personal hell in my mind. He was sad yesterday. I should have stayed with him instead of going to work. Maybe that would have changed the outcome of today. I shouldn't have gone home to get clothes; I could have saved him from those cloaked fucks that attacked him.

I should have protected him. It was my fault he was dead. If I would've been with him, he'd be alive. Guilt was clawing its way through my mind and soul. The love of my life died, and I had to live an eternity without him. Please take me with him. I do not want to live without Haden.

I did not realize anyone was talking to me until Sara knelt in front of me, breaking my trance on the wall.

“Ardella, can I run you a bath? You are shaking.” Her eyes were red from crying.

I was going to say no, but I was covered in blood—Haden's blood. I nodded, and she squeezed my hand tightly. She disappeared but came back a minute later, helping me off the couch and walking me to the washroom. Sara looked at me struggling to get the clothes off and cried silently as she helped me. My gaze immediately glanced in the mirror at the snowflakes marked into me. I had to look away from the sight because a memory of Haden's big grin made me want to cry. He would never smile again.

Sara helped me into the tub and didn’t leave my side. She helped wash my hair and hands. Then she just sat with me as I stared at the water. I pulled my knees to my chest and rested my head against them.

“What am I supposed to do?” I asked Sara softly.? "How can I exist without the other half of me?"

Her tears fell quicker at my question. “I don’t know,” she choked out. She tried desperately to hold in her sobs. "Thank you," she whispered.

I looked at her, confused.

"For saving Holden." Her eyes filled with guilt. "I will never take anything about him for granted again."

I nodded because I could see in her eyes that she wanted to say more, but she didn't need to.

Sara sat with me for a bit longer before she left to find me clothes. When she shut the door to the washroom, I heard a loud sob escape her. Once her footsteps disappeared, I stood up, wrapping a towel around me and slipping from the washroom. I hesitated when I got to Haden’s bedroom door. Slowly, I pushed it open, and his scent hit me.

I walked to the drawer of clothing and pulled his clothes out, slipping on a tunic that covered all of me. Then I turned and slipped into his bed. I closed my eyes as I pulled his extra pillow against my chest, pretending that it was him lying next to me.