Page 34 of Searching for Sadie (Mystic Falls #5)

SADIE

" S adie, the order is up for table six," said Mae for the third time.

"Right, sorry," she said as she took the plates from the window and delivered them to the table with a smile.

"Are you doing okay?" Mae asked as she returned.

"Yeah, I'm just a little distracted today. The last of the shows air tonight and I really don't want to watch them. Also, it means I leave in four days to film the reunion show and I would rather get an unmedicated root canal."

"Wow, that's a lot. Do you want to cut out early? I can handle the rest of it."

"No, this is a good distraction. Lucas is at a job in Glendale until later tonight so I will just be home by myself. No good can come of that."

She blew out a breath as she leaned a hip against the counter. "I totally get it. What is going on with you and Lucas, anyway?"

Sadie tried to bite back the smile that wanted to spread across her face, but the glint in the woman’s eyes told she'd not been successful. "It's new."

"But is it something?" Mae asked, hungry for details.

"Yes, it is."

She clapped and made a tiny squealing noise. "I'm so happy. I've been hoping Lucas would find someone and maybe now you'll stay here."

The door opened as a new set of customers came in just in time to save her from this conversation.

Later that night Sadie was on her porch strumming her guitar working through a couple of songs her and Liam had played the other day when Lucas's truck turned into his driveway.

Her heart had never leapt at the mere sight of a man's work truck, but she was starting to believe Lucas was the right man for her.

"Hey there, Songbird," he said as he got out of his truck.

His casual lean against it did something for her, but she was finding there wasn't much about Lucas that didn't do something to her.

Sometimes he came home from work looking as clean as he was when he left, but this time he came home with his hair rumpled, his jeans dirty on his knees and some on in his hands.

"I made dinner," she said.

"Yeah?" he said with his crooked grin she was starting to look forward to. "I need a shower before I do anything."

"Well, you go shower and come over when you're done."

A slow, impossibly handsome grin spread across his face. "I'll leave the back door open. You can join me if you want?" he said with a wag of his eyebrows.

A small chuckle bubbled up inside of her as she shook her head. "Be over in twenty minutes."

Then he winked before heading into the house and her heart fucking sang.

Before she knew it, they were finishing up dinner in the plush carpeted dining room of her house where an entire curio cabinet of hummels. The little Dutch figurines watched them as they ate.

Lucas looked at them with a furrowed brow. "Those things creep me out."

"The hummels? Why?"

"I don't know. Why are they all making that expression?"

"They must be looking at something very surprising."

As they finished dinner, they did the dishes and loaded the dishwasher. Lucas was drying his hands on a towel when he turned to look at her with a more serious expression than he'd shown since he'd gotten home.

"How are you feeling about the show?"

Those words alone filled her with dread. Lucas could see it on her face and pulled her in for a hug.

"You don't have to watch them," he said as he held her close and kissed the top of her head.

She nodded even as her head was nestled in Lucas's big warm chest. "I do. I need to watch them."

"Are you sure? If it's going to hurt to watch them, just don't."

She pulled back and looked up into his big hazel eyes that held so much concern. "I need to see them. I need to see it all play out."

"Okay, do you want to watch them together?"

She bit her lip while she thought it over. Part of her wanted to hide and watch them by herself. The shame of what Ryan had said about her pulled her down so low she wasn't sure if she wanted Lucas to see her like that. But if he was there maybe that bottom wouldn't be quite so low.

"What are you thinking?" he asked as his hands cupped her neck holding a steady gaze.

"I mean, I'm nervous. I hate the way watching them makes me feel... but maybe if I watch them with you, I'll feel better."

"Okay, do you want to watch it tonight?"

She nodded and swallowed down the lump in her throat.

"What’s making you nervous?"

She looked down at their feet and chewed on her bottom lip.

But thumbs gently tipped her head back up to meet his gaze.

"I guess... I'm just nervous it will make you see me differently.

If you hear all the stuff he has to say about me, you might.

.." She couldn't even bring herself to say the words.

She hated this. She hated that someone had made her question her worth like this.

"Hey," he said in a firm yet comforting tone. "I don't give a fuck what that idiot has to say about you. There is nothing he can say that will make me change my mind."

She nodded, trying to believe his words.

"Where do you want to watch it?"

"Can we watch it at your house... curled up in blankets downstairs?"

"Of course, do you want to head there now?"

She nodded as he took her by the hand and led the way.

"Where's George? He can come over and snuggle with us."

"I don't know where he is, you know how he is, he comes and goes as he pleases."

They walked across the backyard as the sun was starting to set on the other side of her house.

She was a mix of emotions. Part of her was so thankful for Lucas, she would not have been able to get through this without his support.

Yet there was still a big part of her that was worried Ryan would point out all the things about her and her body he didn't like, and Lucas would be like 'oh yeah, now that I never noticed that before, gross. '

She knew he wouldn't do that. But knowing that and feeling that were two separate things.

"You head downstairs. I'll be right there," he said as he slid open his patio door.

She made her way down into Lucas's basement. One thing she'd noticed about Lucas was his love for air conditioning. His house was almost like being in a refrigerator, but she liked it. She liked that even in the hot late summer sun she would need to cuddle up with blankets and Lucas to stay warm.

Once she got in the basement she sat on his big sectional sofa and picked out the softest blanket he had. In a few moments he came carrying two bowls of ice cream.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Ready as I'll ever be."

"Let's do this," he said, handing her a bowl of ice cream before he sat down next to her.

"Thank you," she said as he took the bowl from his hand, and he pulled the blanket to cover both of them.

He set his bowl down next to him as he reached for the remote and pulled up the show. It was apparent on the screen that he'd seen all the episodes. He'd heard what Ryan had to say, and it hadn't changed things. She just hoped it would stay that way after these last couple episodes.

Her nerves were threatening to get the best of her as the previously shown clips started playing.

Just some of the most traumatic moments of her life served up as sound bites for everyone to see, no big deal.

Sensing this, Lucas picked her legs up and draped them over his lap for maximum contact while they ate their ice cream.

"Nothing like watching people call you fat while eating ice cream," she said in an attempt to laugh it off.

"That guy is a fucking dickbag," Lucas said as he discarded his empty ice cream bowl.

"He wouldn't know what to do with a woman anyway. I bet he's one of those fuckers who thinks the g-spot is fake. I don’t think he could find a clit in a Georgia O’Keefe painting.

I mean, really, you're better off. He never would have gotten you off. "

Sadie surprised herself with the bark of laughter that left her. "Tell me how you really feel."

"Oh, I will," Lucas said as he looked at her with a cocked eyebrow before turning his attention back to the TV. But as he did that, he also started to massage her feet while she finished her ice cream. This might not be as bad as she feared.

Before long, her ice cream bowl was on the side table, and she was snuggled into Lucas's side as they watched what she knew would be her last episode.

She's made it through the shows that made her feel like she was going insane.

She remembered when she'd been trying to figure out what was going on and why things were bad.

He had made it seem like there was something wrong with her but was telling all the guys behind her back he wasn't attracted to her.

While she expected to feel even more shame while watching this with Lucas, his constant contact and disgust anytime Ryan came on the screen did make her feel better.

Even through their breakup scene, this was a gut-wrenching moment when Sadie had pulled so deep and tried everything to try and work it out.

To try and figure out what the problem was.

First, she had been too standoffish, then she's been too clingy, then she'd embarrassed him by getting a little rowdy with the girls.

It was an ever-moving target, one she could see watching the show she would never be able to meet.

The soul crushing gymnastics of trying to put the pieces of the puzzle to make their connection work, the connection that had seemed so real in the rooms where they couldn't see each other, had vanished.

Watching the show, it was so obvious it made her feel stupid. But while she was in it, it was hard to see clearly.

Watching the scene play out before where she finally said goodbye a tear streamed down her face. She wasn't sad it was over, especially knowing everything that was going on and being said behind the scenes. As she sniffled, Lucas nuzzled and kissed the top of her head.