Page 80 of Sean's Sunshine
And Sean wrapped him up in all of that, rocked him softly, and told him he was free.
AN HOURlater, they were lying side by side in bed, clothes still on because they weren’t in bed to make love.
Sean turned on his side and studied his lover, the “porn kid” who’d been there to take care of him because he’d been at a low point in his life and who had stayed because….Because he belongs here.
He belonged there, in Sean’s bed, eyes closed, turned toward Sean by an angle of his shoulders, a cock of his lean hips.
A buzz interrupted the silence, and Billy pulled his phone out of his pocket.
Wordlessly, he turned it toward Sean. It was from Dex, and it said simply,Billy?
And Sean, who had vowed to stay out of it, to let Billy make his own decisions, to not get possessive or weird or old-fashioned on a guy who’d been making his own way in the world without Sean for the last three years, said, “Tell him you can’t.”
The relief on Billy’s face was stunning.
He typed simply,I’m sorry. I can’t.and sent the text.
“I feel so bad,” he said hoarsely. “That wasn’t a lie, but I left Dex and John in the lurch and—”
His phone buzzed again, and he read it, eyes wide, and then his eyes started to spill over again. Wordlessly, he showed Sean the phone.
Had a feeling. Stop by tomorrow and we’ll talk about job options that will help you keep your bennies. Pet store manager needed!
Sean glanced at the phone and smiled, but as he turned toward Billy to share in the relief, perhaps the joy of not having to leave the people he worked with, Billy buried his face into Sean’s shoulder and wept silently while Sean held him some more and gave a silent Catholic-boy thanks that it really might be all right.
“I WON’Tmake as much,” Billy said for the tenth time, but not like he was mad about it—just like he was worried Sean didn’t know what it meant.
Sean took a bite of his hamburger—seasoned to perfection, Sean thought—and nodded. “I know,” he said when he’d chewed and swallowed. “You’ve said that before. Is that a problem?”
Billy gave him a sort of guilty look from across the table. “I can pay rent,” he said, his cheeks flushing.
“You don’t need to,” Sean said, not getting it. “I mean, I’m not expecting you to. You signed on to take care of me for an extra bed and food.”
“And the car,” Billy said, one corner of his mouth twisting up. “I totally would have taken care of you to use your car.”
Sean grinned. “Just so you know, before I got hurt, I didn’t letanyoneuse my car.”
“So I’m special?” He said it like they were still kidding, but suddenly Sean knew there was a right answer to this one.
“Very,” he replied. “Don’t ever doubt it.” He started to chuckle. “I don’t know if I’ve ever had any boyfriend defend my honor before.”
Billy blinked. “Wait, when did I—”
“You, Henry, and Andres defending me from Jesse?” Sean gave a slantwise smile of his own. “Man, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anybody put in their place like that. There I was thinking, ‘God, I wish I could sock this guy in the jaw.’”
“You couldn’t evenbreathe!” Billy cried, mad all over again.
“Yeah.” Sean sighed. “My doctor’s checkup is tomorrow to see if I’m okay to go back. I’m sort of afraid of what Lance is going to say.” Billy was staring at him darkly, like he would be very glad to keep Sean home and on disability for the rest of his life, and Sean spoke up hurriedly. “Anyway, suddenly you were in Jesse’s face—and, you know. You and me, we’re not that tall, but you were yelling at him, and he was backing up, and then Henry was at your side and doing the same thing, and Andres. Never thought I was a damsel in distress, but suddenly I’ve got two knights and my own Prince Charming defending my honor.” He smiled to himself at the memory. “It was pretty awesome.”
“Guys like that,” Billy said with disgust. “They think ‘No’ means ‘You just didn’t ask with enough hands.’” He shook his head. “Not dealing with that shit was the best part of getting jacked up for porn. I mean, I could fight before—our old neighborhood wasn’t much better than my mom’s new one. But once you got the muscles, people don’t even pick on you.” Billy snorted. “Unless they’re seven fucking feet tall and have a fireman’s badge. Oh my God, you need me to save you from fucking douchebags!”
Sean laughed then, content to let Billy go off because he was so fun when he did it. “I totally do,” he said happily. Then he sobered. “I’m, uhm, glad you volunteered.”
Billy was chewing as Sean spoke, and he finished slowly as though thinking. “I meant it, what I said. I’ve never felt anything like I’ve felt with you. I know I should probably get my own place. I just….” He smiled sheepishly at Sean. “In two weeks, you’re going to wake up and go out and work insane hours and come home to an empty house, and I hate the thought of that. I hate that you’ll be coming home to someplace without another heartbeat, you know? Even at my loneliest, I had my roommates, and sure”—he grinned—“they were usually good for a quick one, but they were also….”
“Your brothers,” Sean murmured. “I get it. You want me to have family here.”
“Yeah, but not your mom, ’cause I’m sayin’, she’s a lot.”