Page 179 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys

In my head, I told her I was falling in love with her.

Out loud, I said, “You’re welcome.”

The tractor moved another few inches. My breath came in ragged gasps, but I kept pushing. I kept trying. I’d get the damn tractor where I wanted it to be or die trying. Hell, maybe I was already dead. One final, growling heave forced the tractor the last foot. I stood up, back aching and arms screaming. I turned, sitting down on one of the long-gone-flat tractor wheels. Wadehad stopped scrubbing. He was standing now, staring down at his hands. Even from where I sat, a good hundred feet away, I could see the blood and blisters. We were both torturing ourselves, trying to drive back the pain and fear of losing our Omega.

Our Nelly.

The twins.

The moon was high in the sky by the time the brothers called it quits.

The glass panes—those that were still unbroken after the many years of neglect—were freshly cleaned, allowing silverly light to enter the barn unfettered by dirt and debris. They’d done their best to polish the floors to a dull shine, but that was an impossible task.

Their bodies ached with exhaustion, muscles protesting after hours of physical labor. In the past, pushing themselves to the point of breaking was always the answer. It got them through their lowest lows. But now, they felt unchanged. The anxiety and worry breathed beneath their skin stronger now, as if they’d fed the monsters instead of slaying them.

Wyatt and Wade stood side by side, their eyes taking in all that they’d accomplished but also absorbing all that they hadn’t. The barn was better, certainly. But as their eyes met in the dim light, both brothers knew they were thinking, once again, the same thing:It’s not enough. Not for Nelly. Not for what she deserves.

"She needs a real floor," Wade said quietly, breaking the silence that had stretched between them for hours. His gaze dropped to the rough-hewn planks beneath their boots. He stamped down his foot, feeling frustrated. Though clean now, the wood remained uneven, splintered in places, unsuitable foranything more than the machinations of a farm.How had she managed to dance out here? How had she not hurt herself?“We need to get somebody who knows what a real dance studio needs. Make this place over properly.”

Wyatt’s mind already raced ahead. “The barn’s not going to work in the long run. Let’s talk to the contractor tomorrow. They’re nearly done and hitting the slow season. I’m sure they won’t mind more work.”

“Build it close to the new house,” Wade nodded, following his twin’s train of thought. “She can walk over any time.”

“Maybe design it with a sitting area, give her a real getaway,” Wyatt added.

Wade laughed, a sound full of brittle hope. “That way she’s got an escape from our dumb asses.”

“What if she leaves?” Wyatt asked, interrupting their daydreaming.

“What if she stays?” Wade countered, trying to keep the dream alive.

“What if she stays…” Wyatt repeated, his voice fading with each syllable because hoping hurt too damn much.

The twins moved toward the barn door at the same time, but Wade fell back a step so they could exit. They couldn’t fit side-by-side. Outside, countless stars spread across the black canvas of sky above. The universe was infinite, but all the twins cared about was their small plot of land in Wyoming.

“Can’t believe she’s been using Gramp’s radio.” This from Wyatt.

“Where the hell do you think she found it? We looked for years.” Wade smiled at the fact Nelly brought Grampa Joe’s radio back into their lives.

“Dunno. But I’m glad she’s using it.”

“Me too.”

They walked slowly back to the main house, the crunching of the ground beneath their boots adding to the buzz of night life. The brothers’ thoughts tangled and knotted further with every step.

Was building a dance studio for a woman who might leave any day stupid?

If they built it, would the damn thing just end up a sore reminder of what could have been?

That would be Ghost too, wouldn’t it? If Nelly left, the mare would be a flash of white across the pasture, always making them remember.

What else could they do to convince her to stay?

How would they recover if she left?

The twins split ways after entering the too-small ranch house. Though it was only a few hours until daybreak now, they collapsed into their own beds, asleep before their heads nestled into downy pillows.

The brothers barely slept two hours before they were awoken again—one by Boone, the other by Levi—telling them to come to the kitchen to talk about Nelly. Sleepy, heads hurting, and bodies sore from labor, the brothers both zombie-walked to the kitchen. They each took an offered coffee mug from Cooper, who teased them to ‘wake up, buttercups, we’re taking Nelly into town today’.