Page 168 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys

When I pushed the door open, I was relieved to note the dizzying scent of fresh paint had faded drastically. The ladders were cleared out, the tarps gone. The floors were relatively clean, save endless lines of worker footprints.

My Omega glanced up the curving, impressive stairs.

“There are bookcases on the landing?” she asked, her voice pitched into a strange, wistful tone.

“Yeah, the design didn’t really allow for them here in the foyer. Levi still wanted to see them though when he came through the front door. Makes him feel home.” I looked up at the built-ins, trying to figure out what she was seeing. Why was the sight of the bookshelves hitting her hard?

“That’s where they should be.” Her voice was almost a whisper.

Nelly started moving, heading down the bright, high ceiling hallway towards the open concept kitchen and living room. As she walked, she traced her hands along the wall, every now and then drawing little squares and rectangles on its smooth surface. I wondered what was going through her head right now, wondered what she was envisioning as she crafted invisible patterns against the pale blue paint.

"This is amazing," Nelly said, her voice filled with awe as we stepped into the spacious kitchen. "It's absolutely beautiful."

I watched her face carefully, searching for any signs that her words were just polite conversation rather than genuineappreciation. Her eyes widened as she took in the oversized island and the gleaming appliances. Her body gracefully navigated the space, delicately touching cabinets and handles.

"I’ve always wanted a kitchen like this," I admitted. "Perfect for family meals, for holidays... for making memories. A place more used to laughter than screams."

“Screams?” Nelly’s face screwed up, all the joy from seconds ago shriveled.

I hadn’t meant to say something that would ruin the moment.

I hadn’t meant to let the dark shit from childhood creep in.

“Cooper?” She made my name a question.

But I felt sick.

Chest tight.

I hadn’t talked about that stuff in years. Maybe not since Levi and I first met Boone.

"Just a figure of speech," I said quickly. The light dimmed further in Nelly's eyes, and I flooded with regret. She didn’t need to know I’d spent every moment growing up scared to death.

“Cooper, you can talk to me.” Her probing, hazel eyes pierced me. It popped a balloon inside that I thought deflated al long fucking time ago.

I took a deep breath, hoping I wouldn’t crack in front of her completely. I was supposed to be an Alpha. I was supposed to be strong, unshakable, and my Omega’s protector. I wasn’t supposed to be weak.

"My dad was a brutal bastard. Mom was pretty timid and stayed out of his way if she could. Kitchen wasn't exactly a happy place growing up. Levi had a bullshit home life too; more neglect than beatings though. We became thick as thieves over bruises and empty bellies. Around the time we turned eight, Wyatt and Wade’s grandparents became our safe place. We slept at the ranch whenever we could.” He paused, taking a deep breath.“My dad came over one time, raised hell so bad that Grampa Joe brought out the shotgun. Scared Granny Kat to death.” I lifted a hand to the back of my neck, rubbing the nape and feeling embarrassed as hell.

I didn’t want to tell her this stuff, didn’t want to scare her off. But I kept my voice flippant and casual. Nelly just stared at me like I was something she needed to comfort, pity, or fix. That look was why I kept this shit to myself. The people who mattered, knew. And that was enough.

“Grampa Joe and Granny Kat…” Her voice said their names, then trailed off. She leaned against the counter now, eyes glistening.Dammit, why’d I have to go and ruin things?

“They were fucking saints to put up with all the hell we four raised.” I looked up at the ceiling, recalling things I’d bottled up. “After that night, the one when Gramps shot my dad’s truck and scared him off, I basically moved to Sagebrush. Levi did the same about a month later when his mom up and left, disappeared into Mexico we think. She robbed the Pinedale Dollar Store for fifty bucks and a case of Red Bull.”

Nelly stood up, turning away from me. She pretended to inspect the lower island cabinets, opening and closing doors, reaching in and pulling out the sliding shelves.

I waited, wondering if my story had ruined her image of me.

When she stood up, I watched from behind as she lifted one arm and swiped the long sleeve across her face. The movement lifted the shirt, and this time, I couldn’t look away as the lower curves of her ass came into view. I could only imagine her fully undressed. I could only dream about the utter perfection that would be.

Slowly, she pivoted. Her cheeks sported telltale damp streaks, but she’d stopped crying.

“I’m so fucking sorry you and Levi grew up that way.” Her words were carefully controlled, the slightest trembling warping the syllables.

I tilted my head, lifting and lowering my shoulders, trying to look devil-may-care. “It’s ancient history.”

“It’s not, Cooper. Things like that are never really in the past.”