Page 175 of Scent to the Feral Cowboys

"Please, don’t.” I said, already backing toward the doorway. “Please,” I said again, the word breaking into pieces.

No one tried to stop me as I fled the kitchen, my footsteps quickening as I reached the hallway. I ran into my borrowed bedroom, shutting the door behind me, and I sank onto the edge of the bed, my mind reeling.

Freedom. I had freedom now. I could go back to Seattle, back to…

An apartment that might not be mine anymore.

A job that definitely wasn’t mine now.

A Grandmother who didn’t know me.

I could go back to being alone.

I can leave.The phrase echoed in my head, turning my stomach.I can leave, but I'll never again wake up to the smell of Cooper's pancakes. I can leave, but I’ll no longer get to ask Levi what he’s reading. I can leave… behind Wyatt’s emerald gaze, Wade’s adorable gap, Boone's crow-dark braid. I can leave… I can leave?

I stood and began to pace, five steps in one direction before the small room forced me to turn. My hands pressed against my abdomen where a physical ache had formed, as if my body were already mourning what my mind hadn't fully processed losing.

Now that leaving was possible, leaving also seemed unbearable.

But could I really stay? Did I belong here with these five Alphas? Did it matter how I arrived? Did they truly want me, Nelly Shaw, permanently in their lives? Or was it just biology at work, their Alpha natures needing my Omega to survive?

And what about me? What did I truly want?

Was I ready to build something new here? Was I ready to trust that this wouldn't be taken from me too?

I sank onto the bed, overwhelmed by questions without answers. Outside my window, the Wyoming night spread vast and star-filled, indifferent to my turmoil. Somewhere in the small house, five Alpha men waited for a decision I wasn’t sure I could ever make. In a way, their futures were as uncertain as mine right now.

Should I leave?

Should I stay?

The possibility of staying, of choosing this place and these men, settled over me like Grandmother’s sun-drenched quilt. Sagebrush was somewhere that would wrap me in its embrace…

If I let it.

41

WYATT & WADE.

Seven days and ten hours later…

She knows. Dammit! Nelly knows she can leave.

The twins.

She’d looked so conflicted.

Almost sad.

Anxious.

But then there’d been that fleeting flicker of relief.

The same thoughts raced through the twin brothers’ minds.

The weight of Nelly's expression hung between them, like the after burn of staring at a noon high sun for a little too long. They couldn’t shake the vision of her face.

They’d had to get out of the house afterwards. Without even discussing it, because twin intuition is something that couldn’t be explained, they’d put on their boots, exited the cramped ranch house, and trudged toward the supply shed next to the well pump. Wordlessly, they’d gathered cleaning supplies before heading to the old barn where Nelly had been dancing the past few days.