Page 19 of Scarred in Silence

I peer my eyes open, scanning the blurred room through my watery lashes. He’s gone. He never cared. I’m just a prisoner.

* * *

My stomach growls as I lie in my prison. There is no one coming to save me. I wonder if anyone has tried to see me. He probably came up with some elaborate story so that no one would ask questions. Fucking prick.

He’s my only way out, but I don’t think he will ever let me go.

My ankles hurt from the chains. He hasn’t taken them off. I think today is Tuesday, but I could be wrong. I was on drugs before I got here, and now I have taken so many naps, I have to rely on what my meal is to know what time of day it is.

Irefused to eat my lunch and dinner today. Fuck him.

He thinks he can talk to me like that and I’ll just willingly comply—he obviously forgot who the fuck I am.

I look up at the ceiling and start counting the tiny imperfections in the cement. Earlier, I got to 642. Then I passed out. Hopefully, the same will happen this time.

6

Astra

18 Years Old

The bass thumps in the basement, and bodies are grinding on each other. The strobe lights flash. Everyone is wearing their best costumes. I’ve been invited to a Halloween party. I couldn’t resist attending the party thrown by the seniors at my new college.

Most of my friends are older, but they haven’t graduated from college yet. Despite: I’m here at this party despite not having any genuine friends. I don’t have any friends who are actual risk takers, like I am. I’m not afraid. I’ll do anything to feel heard.

I walk over to the bar in the crowded basement, grabbing some Jungle Juice. It reeks of Vodka. My favorite.

I sip on my drink, letting the lights dance around me. The costumes are actually really cool. There is a ghost face, Michael Myers, a Grim Reaper, and a handful of other favorite characters of mine. I’ve always been a girl for the villains.

I continue to sip my drink, casually dancing, swaying softly to the music. I need something to take the edge off.

I spot Jennifer in the opposite corner, talking to a few girls from college. Jennifer was in my first finance class this year. Stupid, I know, but she knows how to party. I make my way over to her.

“Hey!” I practically squeal.

“Hey girl, we were just heading into the bathroom for a minute. Want to come with?”

“Sure.”

I follow Jennifer across the party, and we all pile into the small bathroom.

“Here! I promise you’ll have the best time!”

She hands me a small, round, pink tablet. I don’t hesitate. No one has ever steered me wrong before. I swallow the capsule. It goes down smoothly. Effortlessly.

Everyone else filters out of the bathroom, but I wait. I need it to kick in first.

I stare in the mirror, trying to calm myself down. I need to fit in. They need to like me. They listen to me; they see me.

I stumble back out to the party after about twenty minutes and continue to dance. The song “Pursuit of Happiness” by Kid Cudi Feat. MGMT plays through the large basement.

My body sways to the music. My body is warm, the lights flash in bright streaks of color, and my skin is electric.

I smile at the euphoria that is eating me from the inside out.

A man comes up to me and starts grinding against my ass. I feel invincible, and I feel so… turned on.

I grind back on him. The scent of peppermint fills the air in vibrant streaks. He leans down and whispers against my neck, “Want to have some real fun?”