Page 39

Rachel

I woke up a few hours later, my head feeling like someone had punched me in it repeatedly. I saw a note on the bedside table from Dante telling me that we would talk soon. I rolled my eyes, unable to summon up the energy to care about what he had to say.

I looked down at my body, grimacing at the state of me. I was covered in dry blood, and my arm was stinging from the stupid fucking needle Doc had shoved in me.

If anything, I was the one who needed to be angry since I had been drugged, but I suppose that was to be seen as a minor inconvenience, and second to what I had done to Macbeth.

I had no fucking regrets, and if Dante wanted to argue over it, he was in for a surprise. I wouldn’t apologise, and I wouldn’t allow him to make me feel bad about it.

I jumped in the shower to wash the blood off me, and settled down in bed with a book, waiting for the moment Dante showed up.

“Jenna, as much as I appreciate your efforts to get me out of this room, I really cannot be bothered. I’m tired,” I sighed, not taking my eyes off my book.

She arrived five minutes ago and had been trying to convince me to come downstairs ever since.

I wasn’t leaving this room until Dante arrived. I knew an argument was brewing, and I’d much prefer to do it in private, rather than have him think he could tear me a new one in front of the entire club.

“Yeah, I’ve heard murder can really take its toll on a woman,” she laughed back .

“So, you’ve heard then?” I asked, rolling my eyes. It wasn’t really a question. With her being Shark’s old lady, there was no doubt she was one of the first to know.

“Everyone has heard. They’ve just held church about it.”

“Fucking fantastic. That’s all I need. I bet they’ve all worked themselves into a frenzy whilst discussing the fact that a female did the job none of them were willing to do.”

“I dunno,” she shrugged. “They seemed pretty chill when they asked me to come collect you.”

“Who is ‘they?’”

“The club. They seemed pretty excited, actually.”

“They want me? All of them?” I said, my head shooting up. “What for? What are they excited about?”

“I guess you’ll have to go downstairs and find out for yourself, won’t you? Unless you’re too chicken.”

“I’m not five, Jenna. That’s not going to work.”

“Okay,” she said with a small smile. “If you say so. I’ll leave you with your book.”

I counted to ten as she walked away, refusing to give in to the curiosity that was causing my body to hum.

“Give me five minutes!” I shouted after Jenna before I was able to stop myself.

“Seventeen seconds. That’s fifteen longer than I expected you to last!” She laughed back.

I fucking hated it here.

I all but ran down the stairs, slowing my movements as I reached the front door, not wanting them all to know how curious I really was. If I was about to be given an earful for killing a man that deserved to be killed, I wasn’t about to run out of here with my tail wagging like an excited puppy.

When I opened the door, I saw the entire club gathered either in the front garden or sitting on their motorbikes on the road. They were all grinning.

Dante stood at the front of them all, with him and Crash being the only ones on the path. Kitty stood on the grass at the side with Vienna, a sad look on her pathetic face .

If ever there was a woman to put a fucking dampener on things, you could always rely on Kitty!

Although, if I was going to be considerate, I suppose she did have a reason to look sad, considering I had just murdered her son.

I wasn’t going to be considerate, though. She shouldn’t have raised such a vindictive little bastard.

“Good luck, lad,” Crash said, slapping Dante on the shoulder as he went to go and stand with his old lady.

“What’s going on?” I asked, as Dante stepped forward.

“Rachel,” he began, stopping in front of me. Every pair of eyes was looking right at us.

“Dante… This is really nerve-wracking,” I attempted a laugh to lighten the mood. “I feel like I’m in a zoo. Only this time, I’m the star attraction.”

“I’d ask for a fucking refund if that was the case!” Vienna shouted over, earning a laugh from the rest of the club.

I shot him my middle finger.

“Rachel,” Dante began again. “I have something to ask you. But first, I want you to listen. I know you’ve struggled here. I know there’s been times where you’d rather be anywhere else. But the truth is, I can’t let you go. I need you here.” He took a deep breath before continuing.

“I can't promise that with me there will never be struggles. I can't promise that we won't argue and want to kill each other. But to me, that adds to the excitement. Sick, I know,” he laughed, and then cleared his throat.

“I can't promise that we'll never have financial worries, or that we'll never have problems. I can't promise that life will be easy all the time.

I can't promise that I won't give in to the darkness and do things that would leave the rest of the world horrified. But I have never pretended to be a good man. I have never pretended to be Prince Charming. I have always tried to show you the real me.”

I saw Vienna open his mouth, and Crash smack him around the back of his head to get him to shut up.

“I never wanted you to fall for a man that doesn't really exist, and if I did… The act, the pretence… It would soon be over. I can’t pretend to be something I’m not, and I won’t offer false promises I can’t deliver on.

But what I can promise is a life of respect.

No one will ever disrespect you whilst I'm arou nd.

I can promise you a life that you'll look back on with wonder and amazement. I can promise you safety. Security. Protection. I will never let harm come to you.”

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his belongings one by one, handing each of them to me.

His keys, his wallet, his phone, and eventually, he shrugged out of his leather jacket and handed that to me, too.

“I don’t have much, but everything I have is yours.

Anything you want, you can have. I can't promise you a lot of things, but I can promise you that you'll have me.

All of me. Everything I own, everything I am, it's yours.

No more games, Rachel. I don't care if we fight our way into retirement and do so kicking the ever-loving shit out of each other.

I don't care if we're fucking each other's brains out one minute and plotting to murder each other the next.

So long as I know you're mine whilst we're doing it, I'll happily let you think you're capable of kicking my ass and only mildly punish you in return.”

I laughed at him then, feeling the icicles around my heart slowly melt away as this huge man bared his soul to me.

“You know I have a lot of baggage… right? I don’t know how I’m supposed to handle that… and you, and this club, and everything else.”

“I know it's hard Rachel and I'm not asking you to go all Berlin on your walls, but can you lower them just enough to let me in? You can deal with your baggage with me. You don’t have to face everything alone.”

He was an angry man, and often a cruel man. But he was also an honest one. A man who would drive me insane but would never lie to me. He would never deliberately harm me. He was annoying, and he was a complete fucking dickhead, but he was trying. He was giving us a chance.

He gestured to the belongings I was holding.

“The ball is in your court now. I'm giving you the choice. You can throw all that away, and we can be done now. Or you can give this a chance. There’s only one question, and there can only be one answer. I’ll accept it either way, but no more uhm-ing and ahh-ing.

Plain and simple, do you want to be my old lady? ”

“Wait,” I said, frowning at him. “This isn’t about Macbeth?”

“It’s not about Macbeth,” he nodded. “You did what you thought you needed to do. He was on club lands, and he was in the house. None of us blame you. ”

“You don’t even want to know what happened?”

“It’s not important to me, Rachel. If you felt it needed to happen, then that’s all that matters to me. If you want to tell me, I’ll listen. All I care about right now is the answer to my question.”

I looked at the items in my hands — everything Dante had to offer.

I looked at all the men and women surrounding us.

Some snuggled close to their partners, others alone, but all connected and bonded by this crazy club they called life.

Each one had such a look of anticipation, of hope, and it dawned on me just how much Dante’s happiness meant to them.

They really had built their own little family here, and they had each other’s best interests at heart.

I looked at Kitty and Crash. Kitty looked as miserable as always, no surprise there, but Crash was grinning widely. Vienna was almost jogging on the spot, such was his eagerness to hear me say yes.

None of them were looking at me with anger or disgust. None of them were throwing insults at me, even though I had murdered a man just a few hours ago. None of that was important. All they cared about was the happiness of their Vice President.

The only person missing was Bee. But I already knew what her reaction would be. She saw me as her mother, and I wanted to be that for her.

I took a deep breath and finally looked at Dante.

He was forcing himself to keep a blank expression. He hadn’t quite mastered it like I had, because I could see the trepidation in his firm jaw, the nervous tick in his cheek, the way his Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed.

“Jesus Christ, woman,” Vienna groaned, covering his eyes and arching his back as though he was in pain. “Can you put the poor cunt out of his misery and just say yes? The wait is killing me, so God knows what you’re doing to that great, daft bastard!”

We all laughed, relieving some of the thick tension that had been building in the air.

It’s time to make a decision, Rachel.

No more games.