Page 25

Rachel

The drive back to my mother's house – or should I say Iris’s house – was frosty, to say the least.

First of all, she had demanded the front seat. Which I was going to give to her anyway, as I wanted to sit in the back with Bee. But the fact that she demanded it made some childish instinct within me rear its ugly head.

It had only got worse when she forbid Dante from putting his music on. He hated driving in cars at the best of times, and I had seen him throwing sad, forlorn little looks at his bike as we made our way over to the “goddamn shit of a cage”, as he so politely put it.

I had ignored my mother’s demands and hooked my phone up via the car’s Bluetooth.

There wasn’t a chance she knew how to work that, so she would just have to deal with it.

I placed my phone on Dante’s knee, and ignored his shocked glance when he saw that I had created an entire “Dante’s Songs” playlist, full of his favourites.

“Don’t say a word,” I muttered.

“I… Thank you,” he said softly, catching my eye in the rearview mirror. I gave him a small, embarrassed smile in return.

From then on, the drive went smoothly… until it didn’t.

We were making polite, awkward small talk back and forth, which might have been as painful as nails on a chalkboard, but it was at least civil.

Things finally came to a head when I snapped at her and called her a controlling “see you next Tuesday”, because she wouldn’t let me poke my head between the seats as I tried to ask Dante who Gabriella was.

No sooner had I opened my mouth to say “Hey Dante, have you heard of a girl—” before my mother sighed heavily, demanding to know why I was so interested in other girls, and would I please act like a responsible adult in front of Bee and put my seatbelt on.

It had taken everything in me not to grab a fistful of her hair and slam her stupid face into the dashboard. I flopped back into my seat and kept silent. I really was trying to keep this day as pleasant as possible, but my fuck, people were trying my patience.

If it wasn’t for Bee, I would have given in to my intrusive thoughts and shoved my mother out of the moving car.

But I promised to be on my best behaviour, and that’s exactly what I was doing.

Even if I would need to schedule a trip to the dentist with the amount of times I had been grinding my teeth to stop from snapping.

I did feel sorry for her, though, the poor thing.

This was supposed to be her day, and already we were having to do a detour because the club came first. She tried her best to keep the chat going, but even she got fed up with the clipped, overly polite replies of my mother.

She was used to rough and brash, not the formality that was Mrs Rebecca Brooks.

She soon went to looking at her tablet instead.

I noticed she was watching Miss Rachel, and I had a small chuckle to myself at the difference between that Rachel and myself.

She was warm and sunshine. I was cold, mixed with thunder and lightning.

We couldn’t have been more different. And yet Bee had no problem snuggling up as close as possible to me, and offered to share the screen, placing it on my knee so she could grab a fistful of the bottom of my shirt.

It had become a habit of hers to hold my clothes whenever she was relaxing.

I guess it was a comfort for her, a reminder that she had someone near and close to her.

“She shouldn’t be watching that, you know,” my mother said, pure disdain in her voice.

“I’ll tell you what, when we get to Iris's house, maybe you can dig the old Abacus out of the attic and show her what real fun looks like,” I shot right back, not bothering to even glance in her direction.

She wisely chose to stay silent. I saw Dante’s shoulders move as he smothered a laugh, and I caught his eye once more, grinning back at him .

“You alright, Bee?” I asked softly, turning my attention to her and kissing the top of her head.

She nodded against my stomach.

A thought came to mind. My mother might have a point about responsible parenting, actually.

“Hey… Shouldn’t you be in your car seat?” I asked.

“She’s five, Rachel,” Dante laughed.

“I don’t see what’s funny. You know it’s the law that five-year-olds should be in a car seat, right?”

“She rides a motorbike. I think she’s alright.”

“But if we were to crash—”

“Brilliant. Put scary thoughts into her head,” he sighed.

“I’m not scared, Daddy,” Bee grinned.

“That’s my girl,” he smiled back at her through the mirror.

“It’s not a case of being scared. It’s a case of safety,” I continued.

“Since when the fuck did you become the safety police?”

“She’s right, Dante,” my mother interjected.

There are many things I need from my mother, and her help is not one of them.

“You can shut the fuck up as well,” Dante snapped at her.

“Well… I have never in my life—”

“Put a sock in it, Mother. And since I seem to be the only responsible parental figure here, yes, yes, I am the safety police.”

“Oh, really?” He said sarcastically. “You weren’t being safe when you let Vienna take her for a ride on the moors, but sure, now you’re the safety inspector. When did the promotion happen?”

“Now. Do you wanna see my badge? Hold on, let me just fish it out of my pocket,” I said, pushing my hand into the small pocket of my jacket. “Oh, here it is,” I pulled my hand out, sticking my middle finger up as I did so.

“Rachel!” Bee laughed, slapping a hand over her mouth to cover her giggles. “Can I do that?”

“To your daddy?”

She nodded, her shoulders still shaking with her laughter.

“Go for it,” I challenged, meeting Dante’s smirk.

She sat up and looked at her dad, then at me, then back at her dad again. I could practically see the cogs in her brain moving as she weighed up her options .

“Oh, really, Rachel!” My mother snapped. “Teaching that young girl to swear! It’s ridiculous.”

“Do you want to see ridiculous?” I asked, putting my finger up again, and pretending to pull a lid off it before rubbing it over my lips like lipstick. I placed the pretend lid back on my finger and popped my lips at her, winking down at Bee as I did so.

“You shouldn’t swear, Amy. It’s not ladylike,” my mother said with a sniff. “Rachel is just being silly. She always gets like this when she’s showing off.”

Bee nudged me and quickly stuck her finger up behind my mother’s back for all of a fraction of a second before she slapped it back down again, laughing her little head off. I couldn’t help but join in as she fell back against the seats, her chest heaving with her giggles.

It was infectious, catching me in its grasp as my shoulders started shaking with laughter, which made Dante shake his head as the laughter captured him, and before we knew it, all three of us were full on belly laughing, as my bewildered mother looked between us all, asking what on earth was going on.

“Nothing, Mother, nothing at all,” I breathed, wiping a tear from the corner of my eye.

“It’s lack of sleep, that’s what it is.”

“Must be,” I nodded. “Dante knows how to keep a girl awake.”

She pursed her lips and pulled out her phone, ending the conversation as she tapped away a message to someone.

“Iris says you’re welcome to come in,” she said around five minutes later when we rounded the corner to her sister’s house. “She’s put the kettle on.”

“She did?” I gasped, clapping my hands in mock delight. “Did she drop dead, too? If not, I’ll pass.”

“Rachel… She didn’t know. None of us knew.”

“Yup.”

“You can’t blame her for what—”

“Not the time, Mother. I can blame her, and I do.”

“She didn’t know.”

“I heard you the first time. Not now,” I said firmly, nodded my head towards Bee. “She doesn’t need to hear any of this.”

Dante pulled the car to a stop and my mother simply sighed her response. She pushed open her door, climbed out, and straightened her skirt. “When will I see you again?” She asked, hesitating before pushing the door closed.

“Text me when Dad’s home and settled.”

She nodded and slammed the door, knowing full well I was in no mood to converse any further with her. I saw Iris come out of the house and alarm bells immediately started ringing.

The little fucking bitch!

My mother had planned this. I just knew it.

“Dante. Drive!” I snapped.

“What?”

“Drive. If she comes over to the car, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”

“Who…? Oh,” he said, finally noticing Iris. “That’s her?”

“Yes, that’s her. And unless you want your daughter to understand what it means to see someone get curb stomped, you’ll start driving. Now.”

“Your wish is my command, m’lady,” he chuckled, pulling back onto the road. He pushed the button to lower his window and flipped Iris the bird as we drove away, making both her and my mother scowl at the car.

“What does curb stomped mean?” Bee asked, getting on her knees to look out of the back window.

“Sit down,” I said, tugging on her shirt. “And it just means I’d give her a little push. That’s all.”

“Is that really what it means?” She asked, sitting back in the seat properly and frowned at me in suspicion.

“No,” I grinned back down at her.

“Didn’t think so.”

She picked her tablet back up, dismissing me.

Breathe, Rachel. Breathe. She didn’t see you. ?

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

This was fine. I was going to have a lovely day with Dante and Bee, and I wasn’t going to let Iris spoil a single minute of it.

Bee had the absolute time of her life.

We took her to Scarborough beach, and as soon as she saw the sea in the distance, she started squealing with excitement and was out of the car before it even came to a full stop.

She didn’t go far. She stood at her dad’s door, waiting for him to get out of the car, her feet tip-tapping on the floor like an excited puppy.