Page 41 of Save Your Breath

It exists in fear.

I am as scared of this man as I am inspired by him, andthatis a true testament to his power.

“I want to tell you that I’m proud of you,” he starts.

I don’t know why, but those words make my nose sting, and I sniff against the sensation. I feel my chest tightening. I realize no one has said that to me other than my foster mom.

“You’ve really settled in,” he continues. “You’re taking your rink practice time seriously, you help out here around the house, you’ve been respectful of my family and of the staff at the rink. I know you’ve only met your coach a few times and that the team will take some getting used to, but the fact that you’ve acclimated so well in a new country… it’s truly remarkable. You are a good kid, Aleks. You will be a great man.”

I blink, unsure why my heart is racing even as he piles on the compliments. “Thank you, sir.”

He nods, leaning farther back in his chair with his eyes on me. “You and Mia seem to get along well.”

And suddenly, I know exactly why my heart is racing.

“Yes, sir,” I confirm, not sure what else to say. This feels like a trap.

“She’s a wonderful girl, my Mia,” he says, a distant smile on his lips. “Always has been. From the moment she was born,she’s brought light into our family, into any room she walks into. When she first started singing and asked for a guitar, her mother and I suffered through her living room talent shows with worried grimaces. She was terrible,” he says with a laugh. “But by God, she just got better and better. Her music instructors were blown away by her progress, and now… well, I think we all know she’s special.”

He grows quiet, so I clear my throat and say again, “Yes, sir.”

Mr. Conaway is quiet for a while, and then he leans forward, placing his elbows on his desk and staring intently at me. “Son, I’m glad you and Mia are friends. I think you’re good for her, and I think she’s good for you, too. But I need to make one thing very clear.”

I swallow what feels like a sandpaper-covered wine cork in my throat.

“That is my little girl, Aleks,” he says, his voice lower now. “She is my world. And I am only going to say this to you one time. Under absolutely no circumstances are you to do anything inappropriate with her. I want you two to be friends, but that’s where the line is drawn. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

Suddenly, all my ‘yes sirs’have dried up.

I just stare at him, silent.

I don’t want to understand what he’s saying, even though I do.

I don’t want to agree to what I know he’s going to ask me to.

“I remember what it was like to be your age. I know the things you’re feeling, the urges…”

I want to crawl inside myself and escape this conversation.

“I know Mia is a beautiful young lady, and there may be temptations. But… she has things she wants to accomplish, Aleks. Just like you do. I am trusting you to live under the sameroof with her and that you will work just as hard as I do to keep her safe.”

He sighs when I still don’t say anything, scrubbing a hand over his jaw and looking out the window at the big blue lake. When he draws his attention back to me, his gaze is harder.

“She is off limits to you, Aleks. I do not want you to be anything more than her friend. And if I find out that you cross that line, in any capacity, I will not stand for it. I will revoke my role in your billeting situation. I will ask you to leave my home.”

I know without asking that this is not a threat.

It is a promise.

“I don’t want to do that, Aleks. I like you. I believe in you. I want to be there for you, to support you all the way to the NHL and long after. I… I know you’ve had a rough start at life, but I can tell you right now, after seeing you play for just a month — you have a bright future ahead of you.” He pauses. “But so does she. And I won’t have that ruined by her getting her heart broken, or, God forbid, getting pregnant.”

My neck is on fire now. I can’t look him in the eyes, so I drop my gaze to my lap.

I want to ask him so many things.

I want to argue.

What if I really like her, and she really likes me? What if we won’t hurt each other?