Page 21 of Save Your Breath

Everyone already thinks I’m a prat, so I just continue to play into it. That’s easier than trying to change their minds. And why would I want to?

I always felt one bad day away from ruining it all, always felt like there was a part of me born to ruin everything I touched.

“There’s nothing to talk about,” I said, still pissed at myself for talking about her like she was just one of the many women who were desperate to get in my bed.

But this was who I was to these guys — to everyone.

Aleks Suter: the playboy, the asshole, the fighter.

“You two grew up together, yeah?” Carter asked, taking his shot before he turned back to me for an answer.

I spit in lieu of one.

Maybe I should have opened up, should have told my teammates about how I went from a poor foster kid in Switzerland to billeting with a rich family in Chicago. Maybe a better man would have shared his feelings and detailed how his fucked-up childhood shaped him.

But that wasn’t me.

I preferred to keep the past exactly there — behind me.

The only person who knew more than surface level shit about me was Mia, and even we didn’t talk about it much anymore. When we were teenagers sneaking onto rooftops or sitting by the lake that felt more like an ocean, those conversations came easy.

Well — withherthey did.

But she never pushed me, never asked for more than what I was willing to give. Sometimes I’d talk about my biological parents — what little I knew about them, anyway, which was mostly that they battled drug addiction until they both died. Sometimes I’d tell her stories about my foster mom, Annaliese, who was an angel on Earth.

Most times, I’d just talk about hockey.

Hockey was the only thing that felt constant in my life, the only thing I could rely on other than myself.

“Man, I’m sure Dick is thrilled with this news,” Vince said, pulling me back to the present. “I looked last night, and your jersey is the top selling one on the team right now. In the offseason,” he added with a slight shake of his head. “If you two make it to the season and sell out the arena, he’ll be so tickled pink he’ll probably offer you his jet.”

“We’ll make it.”

The words flew out of my mouth before I could stop them, and I didn’t miss the looks the guys exchanged.

“Alrighty then,” Carter said with a grin. “Man, can you imagine how fucking wild it’ll be when Mia Love comes to a home game? It was lit when she was in New York. I hope shebrings her friends. Those twin models she hangs out with…” He clapped Jaxson on the shoulder and bit the knuckles of his opposite hand, but I ignored whatever he said next as I lined up and took my shot.

For the first time, it sailed farther than any of the other guys’s had, and Will let out a low whistle as we walked toward the golf cart.

“You two are serious, huh?” he asked.

I didn’t reply, but with him, I didn’t need to.

We spoke the same language.

Mostly grunts and scowls.

“She seems great, man. Talented as hell. And I’m not just saying that because my daughter is obsessed with her.”

I nodded.

Shewasgreat.

Better than me by all accounts — which was probably why these fuckers could barely believe we were together.

“I know talking isn’t your thing, but if you ever need to…”

“Fuck off, Daddy P.”