Page 31 of Save You (Maxton Hall #2)

“I missed you too,” she answers, equally quietly, and my heart leaps.

I stroke Ruby’s back, one big circle, and then a smaller one. The thin blouse feels so soft to the touch. And so like her .

“I’m sorry for what I said when I came before. I didn’t mean to put anything on you.” I get the feeling that I need to say that again, one more time.

“I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have been so mean.”

I shake my head right away. “You weren’t mean. What you said was right. I don’t want to be a burden on you. That’s not how a relationship works,” I reply.

At the word “relationship,” Ruby raises her head and pulls away from me slightly. Her watchful eyes are on me, and my next words just flood out by themselves.

“It’s just that…When I see you, I feel like everything in my life is going right. It feels like I’m at home—really at home, I mean. I’ve never felt like that before, Ruby. With anyone. You gave me the feeling that I’m not alone. And that’s what I missed most of all. This feeling of…being whole.”

Ruby’s breath catches.

“I don’t know if that even makes sense,” I add.

“It makes sense,” Ruby says. “Of course it makes sense.”

“I don’t want you to feel that I’m pressuring you.”

Ruby’s gaze strokes over my face. I’m sure that my cheeks are as flush as hers. I feel warm, and I’ve been fighting the tears too. But Ruby isn’t looking at me like she finds that cringe, or thinks I’m an idiot.

There’s a warmth in her green eyes that pierces right through me. She is looking right inside me and I know that she understands everything.

That’s what Ruby’s like. She finds solutions to the hardest tasks. She finds meaning where there isn’t any. And now she’s finding something in me that moves her to fling her arms around me.

“I don’t,” she whispers. “Not anymore.”

The next moment, she stands on tiptoe. She looks me in the eyes for a heartbeat. And then she kisses me.

I give a muffled exclamation of surprise. For a moment, I don’t even know what’s going on, and I grab hold of the desk with one hand as my fingers tighten their clutch on her back of their own accord.

Ruby comes closer still until there’s no space left between us.

This wasn’t my goal when I came here. But now she’s kissing me and her hands are on my body and she’s so close that I’m losing my mind…

“James?” Ruby leans back a little and looks uncertainly at me. It’s only now that I realize I’d been too overwhelmed by the situation to kiss her back.

“I…”

Suddenly, Ruby’s eyes widen and she puts a little distance between us. She swallows hard and shakes her head. “I’m sorry. I thought…I shouldn’t have…”

“ Ruby ,” I manage. Freed from the shock, I pull her back to me with both hands. Then I lean over her, shut all thoughts out of my head, and kiss the girl I love for the first time in two months.

I press a hand to the back of her neck and wrap the other around her waist to pull her close to me. Ruby sighs in my mouth.

Oh, wow.

I’ve missed this so much.

The way Ruby moves. Her beautiful lips. The quiet sounds she makes when our tongues touch.

I stroke the back of her neck, from her hairline down to her throat. Her skin is so warm and soft. I’d love to cover her whole body with kisses. Ruby gasps as if she’s just had the same idea.

The sound awakens me from my trance. Breathing hard, I pull away from her.

Although we’re closer than we’ve been for ages, we’re not ready for more. There’s still a boundary between us that neither of us can yet cross, and as Ruby buries her face in my neck and just holds me, I know that she’s thinking the same thing.

I stroke her back and hold her tight—seconds, minutes, hours. It’s as though, in this moment, she and I are all there are. Only the two of us in the whole world.

I don’t know how long we’ve been standing here, but when we finally let each other go, it feels like it’s been half a lifetime.

We look at each other and smile. Ruby smooths down her fringe and I straighten my jumper. It’s clear that neither of us knows what to do next.

I clear my throat. “I should…”

At the same moment, Ruby says, “How’s…” and we both start to laugh.

“You first,” I say.

Ruby smiles. “I just wanted to ask how Lydia’s doing. I didn’t see her yesterday evening.”

“She’s fine. She still feels sick from time to time, so she didn’t come to the gala.”

Ruby frowns with concern. “But everything else is OK, isn’t it?”

I nod. “Yeah, it’s normal, apparently.”

It’s good to know that I don’t have to watch my words with Ruby. She knows all our secrets; there’s nothing I couldn’t talk about with her. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to show her how much that means to me.

Suddenly, Ruby takes my hand and pulls me to her bed.

My stomach does a nervous somersault because for a moment I have no idea what this means, but then she drops cross-legged onto the bed and pats the space beside her.

I feel a strange mixture of relief and disappointment as I sit down next to her.

“How are you feeling about Oxford?” she asks in the end.

The warmth inside me gives way to icy cold. I stare at Ruby in shock.

“OK, I guess that answers that,” she says, smiling understandingly at me.

“You know what I feel about Oxford.”

“That sounds like you’re in a relationship with the university.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Look who’s talking. Don’t think I haven’t spotted the love hearts you’ve drawn on that email you’ve printed out,” I say, pointing to the pinboard over her desk.

Ruby looks sheepish. Then she smiles. “Yeah, OK. Got me. But you didn’t answer my question.”

I think a moment. “I’m happy that you’re happy. You can be pleased for both of us,” I say, as diplomatically as possible.

Ruby rolls her eyes. Before I can respond, she’s grabbed one of her pillows and whacked me with it.

For a moment, I’m just blinking in confusion, but then I turn to Ruby.

“Lydia always does that too. And now I can’t defend myself against her, in case I damage anything.

But you…” Fast as lightning, I snatch another pillow and throw it at Ruby. “It’s completely different with you.”

She reacts quicker than I’d have thought possible. She grabs the pillow I threw at her and pummels me with it twice. When she tries to repeat the trick a third time, I catch her wrist and hold it tight.

Ruby’s cheeks are flushed, she’s breathing fast, and her hair is messed up. Everything within me is crying out to lean down and kiss her again.

At once, I let her go. I clear my throat and move away a little.

“Are you accepting the offer?” Ruby asks after a while.

I nod. “Yes. I don’t even need to ask, do I?”

I dare to glance at her once the heat that flooded my throat has ebbed away a little. Ruby is looking warmly at me, and while she’s clearly holding back too, the glint in her eyes shows me how happy she is.

“Of course I am.” She hesitates. “But I’m worried about money.

I’ve looked into all the loans and scholarships, and I’m sure I’ll get a bursary, but I can’t afford it without a loan, and it’s such a lot of debt to take on.

” It’s almost painful to see the joy gradually fading from her eyes to be replaced by fear.

“And I don’t know if I’ll have time to get a job. ”

“I’m sure you’ll work it out,” I say confidently.

“Well, I’m doing my best,” she says firmly, and at that moment, I have no doubt that Ruby can do anything she puts her mind to.

“Mum always made sure Beaufort’s supported various social projects every year. I bet there are grants in there somewhere. I can ask, if you like,” I suggest cautiously. I’m not sure if this is crossing a line. I hope not.

Ruby hesitates a moment, but to my relief, she’s looking thoughtful, rather than mortally offended by my idea.

“That’s kind,” she says in the end. “How are things at home?”

Her eyes went soft as I spoke about Mum, so I’m not surprised by her sudden change of subject.

I think for a bit. “Lydia’s doing well, and Dad…is my dad. I don’t see much of him and we’ve barely spoken since December. Lydia and I will never be able to forgive him for not telling us what happened to Mum.”

“I never get into fights, but I think I’d have hit him too.”

The idea almost makes me grin. Sadly, that impulse soon fades. “I hate the way he treats Lydia,” I say seriously. “Especially now, when she’s got so much to deal with all at once.”

“How do you mean?” she asks, furrowing her brow.

“He always makes her feel stupid, which seriously winds me up. He hasn’t really acknowledged that she got into Balliol.”

The corners of Ruby’s lips twitch disapprovingly. “Everything you tell me about him makes me so cross. No wonder you’re glad when he’s not at home.”

I normally hate this kind of conversation and usually change the subject or avoid answering, but it feels perfectly ordinary to be sitting here with Ruby, on her bed, talking about my family problems.

I feel like I could get used to this.

“What are you thinking?” Ruby asks out of the blue.

I can only shake my head. There’s a lump in my throat that won’t disappear, no matter how often I cough.

“James?” Ruby says uncertainly.

“I’m just happy that you let me be here,” I croak.

The next moment, Ruby scoots over to me a bit. She puts her hand on mine and I link fingers with her.

“I’m happy you’re here too,” she whispers, and warmth fills my whole body.

“I’m not going anywhere anytime soon,” I declare, my eyes fixed on our hands. “So get used to it.”

Ruby

James and I have about another ten minutes undisturbed before Ember knocks on the door exaggeratedly loudly, bringing in a plate of cookies Mum had sent her up with.

James jumps up from the bed like he’s been bitten by a tarantula.

As she walks away, my sister leaves the door wide-open with a pointed look that just makes me roll my eyes.

James and I were only talking, not ripping each other’s clothes off.

If Mum seriously thinks that…well, I don’t know how to take that idea.