Page 34 of Savage Revenge (Savage Sins #1)

Cash

BARED SOULS

“So, he was at The Velvet Sands at the time Dad was shot. It means nothing. He would’ve hired someone to do it.

Either way, the blood is on his hands.” I sit behind the wheel of my SUV, one hand gripping the steering wheel, while I talk to my brothers and try to calm my racing heart.

I’ve been sitting here for ten minutes and still haven’t recovered from that blow job.

I’m not even sure if it would be considered a blow job, since all my girl did was let me use her hot mouth for my own pleasure.

She didn’t whine or flinch once. When she looked up at me with those watery green eyes and tear-streaked cheeks, I couldn’t hold off.

She makes me lose control, and fuck, it scares me.

I’m a man who likes to control everything around me, and Jordyn is not the type of woman to let that happen.

The fact that it’s one of the things I adore most about her has me questioning what the hell is wrong with me.

“We’re going through his computer now. He provided Cassian with all the passwords, so we were able to easily access it,” Beckett replies. “How’d things go with Jordyn?”

There’s teasing in his voice. The fucker. He’s enjoying this.

“Fine. Listen, do you need me tonight?” I snap.

Xander speaks this time. “No. We’re good. I’m here for you, though. Just remember that.”

The olive branch.

Xander may not approve of how I’ve handled things with Jordyn, but no matter what, he’ll always have my back. He’s my brother.

I look up at my house from where I’m parked and wonder what Jordyn is doing right now. I was hard on her. Maybe I shouldn’t have left her like I did. That was probably an asshole move. I’m starting to wonder if it’s even possible for me not to be an asshole. It’s no wonder she tried to run.

Letting out a sigh, I nod to myself. “Thanks, man. Just need to go on a drive and clear my head.”

“Okay. We’re here if you need anything,” Xander replies simply.

A second later, we end the call. The setting sun blinds me as I pull out of the gates of my property.

It’s pointless to tell my brothers that what I need is to be a better man.

A nicer man. To her, at least. I don’t care about anyone else, but Jordyn is different.

She makes me want to be different. And unfortunately, no one can help me with that.

The sky is filled with stars by the time I get home. My girl is lying out on the double lounge bed by the pool. Her favorite spot. And mine, too.

She doesn’t move when I step outside, but I know she hears me because she tenses for a moment without turning or saying anything.

I nod toward Caleb. “You can take the rest of the night off.”

He lifts his chin and disappears into the house, leaving the two of us alone. I can’t help but watch her for a moment. The way her smooth legs glow under the moonlight and her hair swishes with every move she makes. She’s perfect. Everything about her is.

Finally, I approach and stand beside her, my fingers finding the back of her neck. As soon as I touch her, she relaxes and looks up at me, her eyes sparkling.

“I owe you an apology,” I murmur softly.

Her lips part, but she doesn’t say anything, so I hold up a bag. “I thought we could share some gummy bears.”

She eyes the bag and sucks in a breath. A second later, she scoots over, giving me room to sit on the lounger. It’s something. And right now, I’ll take what I can get.

I lower myself to the cushion and turn to put my feet up, leaning back next to her, the heavy weight on my shoulders lifting as I exhale.

Normally, when I’m out here, I sit on one of the chairs.

This might be the first time I’ve ever used one of these since I’ve moved in.

Kicking back and relaxing has never been my style, but I can see why she loves it.

Then again, maybe I’m enjoying it because I’m next to her.

Neither of us speaks as I rip open the package and offer it to her. She takes out two red ones and pops them into her mouth. When she hands the bag back to me, our fingers touch, and we lock eyes. She washed her face since I left, leaving her makeup-free and glowing. My sweet, beautiful girl.

“I never would have done something to purposely hurt you,” she finally whispers.

I nod and reach for her, pulling her to lie in my arms. “I know, baby. Deep down, I knew. I just… Fuck.” I swallow and close my eyes, trying to ease the tightness in my throat. “I tend to assume the worst in people, and I shouldn’t in you. I’m sorry.”

She stares up at me, and my heart thuds against my ribcage. I wouldn’t blame her if she can’t forgive me, but I don’t think I’ll be able to handle it either.

“I do, too.” Her words are quiet and she has a sad smile that cracks my heart down the center.

In a way, even though the Savages and the Kingstons are enemies, Jordyn is one of the few people in this city who knows what it’s like to live in our world.

Unable to trust just anyone. Thinking people only want to get close to use us for money or power.

And she’s had it even harder, living with a father who treats her like she’s less than because she’s a woman.

We understand each other better than we realize. And we have this entire time.

I stare at the green gummy bear between my fingers and swallow the pain threatening to invade, as memories start to drift into my head. Finally, I pop it into my mouth and smile as the sweetness hits my tongue.

It’s pure nostalgia, and even though I hate that my dad isn’t here, I’m so thankful I had him around for as long as I did. He’s gone much too soon, but he’ll never be forgotten. My kids will know so much about him, they’ll feel like they’ve met him before.

I turn my head slightly to look at Jordyn. If we had kids together, would their eyes be the same green as hers and would they get her shiny brown hair? She’d be a good mom. Strong but loving. And at night, she’d be able to let go and be soft just for me. I’d take care of her.

Her head falls to the side to look back at me, and when our gazes meet, she smiles sweetly, her lashes fluttering.

“I’m not an easy man, kitten,” I whisper, bringing my hand to her cheek. “I’m fucked up in a lot of ways, and I’m always going to cross the line… Especially when it comes to you.”

It’s an honest statement. I wish I could tell her that I’ll change and be nicer and gentler, but I’m not dumb enough to think I might be able to do those things.

She wets her lips with her tongue, and my cock jumps at the movement. Jesus. I can’t even be around her without getting hard.

“The first day I got here, I asked Birdie to call the cops and report that I’d been kidnapped.

She told me to relax and enjoy my time here and get to know you.

She said you aren’t nearly as cruel as people think.

” Jordyn looks down and chews the inside of her cheek, then reaches for me, her fingers brushing against my chest. “I didn’t believe her.

Not at first. But then I watched you from my window.

Sitting down here in true, bone-deep pain, and I understood why you were doing what you were doing. ”

A knot forms in my throat, but thankfully, she continues talking, so I don’t have to.

“Then I spent time with you and your brothers, and I saw their pain, too. I felt it. I wish I could have met your father because from the few things you guys have said about him, he seemed really wonderful.” Tears sparkle in her eyes, only making the knot worse.

“He was,” I say roughly. “He would have liked you.”

Both my parents would have liked Jordyn. It’s impossible not to.

She smiles, and I think she’s happy to know that.

“You’re all the things you said,” she tells me. “But I also know, deep down, you’re good to the people who mean something to you. So I guess it makes it a little easier to overlook the psycho tendencies.”

I grin and pull her toward me to kiss her forehead. “So you forgive me for the cameras?”

She scoffs and gently shoves me away. “No, asshole. That wasn’t even crossing a line. That was far, far beyond the line, Cash.”

My lips twitch, and I pull her back to me, needing to touch her. “Daddy,” I whisper in her ear.

With a sigh, she tilts her head back to look up at me, our faces only inches apart.

She studies me for a second, then nods. “Daddy,” she repeats softly.

Then she lowers her head to my chest and rests it there, my heart beating a little too hard beneath her ear.

We lie in silence for a long time, listening to animals howling in the distance and the waterfall feature by the pool. It’s soothing. I almost close my eyes, but I don’t want to fall asleep and miss this moment with Jordyn. It feels monumental. Like we’re coming to some sort of an agreement.

“Why did the gummy bears trigger you? It has to do with your dad?” she finally asks.

Keeping my gaze on the millions of stars, I let out a deep breath.

“Ever since my brothers and I could talk, my dad spent his Friday nights with us for family poker nights. It was the one night a week that we were able to stay up as late as the game went on. My mom wouldn’t let us use real money until we were teens, so my dad asked what we wanted to use instead.

” I smile at the memory of us trying to think of something to use.

“I don’t know why we decided on gummy bears; we were kids, so we didn’t really think it out, I guess.

So my dad brought those tiny bags of snack-sized gummy bears for us to use every week.

It was a tradition. Plus, they’re the best candy there is. ”

I shrug and pull a few yellow ones from the bag, then hold it out for her, watching as she chooses another red one.