Page 48 of Safety Net (Mendell Hawks #3)

LINCOLN

Before I got too far from my reality check, I forced myself to keep pushing (after a decent night's sleep that turned into ten hours of rest, resulting in a concerned Henrik checking in to see if I was still breathing).

"You never make a sound when you sleep," he said when I finally woke up and dragged my way to the kitchen. "I had to get a mirror to check if you were breathing."

"Such a worrier," I teased before grabbing an orange and starting back upstairs.

"Are you busy?" he asked, because our early mornings usually consisted of hanging out in the kitchen or near the pool, posing scenarios to one another, and being infinitely curious about how the other would react.

If the zombie apocalypse happened, but you were in space, would you try to come back down or live out your days exploring space?

What if we found a door at the bottom of the ocean with the words "don't open"?

What if, all this time, a higher being has been trying to combine different DNA to remake one person they lost?

Once they found them, does this human experience cease to exist?

"Got to get organized before practice," I explained. "Lots of catching up to do. We’ll scenario later, I got plenty of good ones for you.”

He didn't say anything, but from the delayed nod, I figured he was impressed their feedback hadn't rolled off my back. Or that my photo finish with the sets hadn't lulled me into a false sense of security.

With the playhouse set priority crossed off my list, it was vital I began this whole betterment journey, or else live with the cyclical nature of my avoidance.

I wasn’t sure how to change everything about how my mind reacted to struggle, so I started with familiarity.

I started with red strings and far too many notes.

Developing a decent plan took hours. I sat on the ground in my room, putting everything I hoped to achieve in life on blue lines of paper.

I avoided fear the best I could because after a few hours of writing, I realized somewhere along the line, wanting things had become embarrassing.

Almost shameful. Because what lost cause dared to want?

My handwriting was abysmal, and the effort, herculean.

The entire morning and afternoon passed, resulting in a three-year plan that didn't make me want to throw up.

The work would be brutal, and sinking that much time into myself would be risky.

But if I'd learned anything from being with Celeste, it was that even with all the uncertainty and doubt, trying was better than standing still.

Seeing the plan laid out before feels like stepping on solid ground after being at sea for years.

Henrik

It's almost time. You coming down soon?

I frowned and responded,

What?

Henrik

Did you forget about presentation night?

I checked the clock and laughed to myself.

Since the abrupt end of last season, I had been the only one to remember the tradition I started.

So, I'm shocked to find everyone in the living room with the TV already on and Finn fiddling with the HDMI cord that's plugged into Naomi's laptop.

It was her and my night to present a PowerPoint of our choice.

"Hey," I said when I saw Celeste on the couch. Any lingering stress filtered out of me, replaced with the solace of her presence.

She sat underneath a blanket, her fingers tangled in a black string Aderyn adjusted. "I didn't know you were here. Why didn't you come up?"

"It's because we intercepted and wanted her to hang out with us. You're going to have to get used to shared custody," Naomi teased from her spot in front of the TV.

Celeste smiled at me and leaned her head back on the couch, so I'd have an easy time planting an upside-down kiss on her forehead.

"I came over to surprise you," she said. "I didn't know you guys had plans tonight."

"So, they lured you in?" I placed my hands on either side of her shoulders, watching Aderyn show Celeste how to make a ladder.

"You're a natural," Aderyn encouraged, her string art a bit tighter and cleaner.

"Thanks." Celeste smiled shyly, unable to make eye contact but able to take a compliment. Progress. Slow and steady progress. I admired this woman for it. Loved her for it.

"Want to try a shooting star next?" Aderyn asked.

Celeste nodded, bottom lip tucked between her teeth as she listened to Aderyn's instructions. I placed one more kiss on top of her head before venturing into the kitchen, where Sam and Henrik were.

"They're getting along," I said to Sam as our girlfriends laughed at their tangled fingers and impossible shapes.

"Aderyn's already kicked me off another trip to the mountain," Sam said, pretending to be bothered. "The house is too crowded, and she wants to prioritize the girls, she said."

"Boohoo," I joked. "You're stuck with your house in the mountains with your friends."

"Talk about torture," he grumbled.

A crash from the oven drew our attention to Henrik. He cursed under his breath as he picked up the dropped rolls.

"You good?" I asked, going over to help clean up the mess.

"Great," Henrik said half-heartedly. He didn't even meet my gaze as he tossed the rolls in a bag and moved to take the non-floor snacks into the living room.

"Great?" I asked Sam in a low voice as I watched our friend automatically give everyone food.

"Eden's upstairs," Sam whispered, giving me a look.

"I see."

Sam chuckled into his cup and took a few sips before asking, "Do me a favor?"

"Sure, I'm in your debt, aren't I?"

He smiled, remembering. "Don't let those two get too cerebral while I'm gone."

"Huh?" I frowned, confused.

"Henrik and Eden," he said. "You know how they get; all lost in the weeds. On the hunt for deeper meaning and poetic purpose."

"It's kind of endearing," I said, recalling high school and Henrik and Eden letters.

"It's kind of concerning," Sam said. "Do your own thing. But whenever you can…I don't know, get them out of their heads. They're bound to put Finn there, too. And all that will be left is you and Naomi trying to nudge them outside to touch grass and experience life as it is and not imagined."

"Unromanticized the romantics." I nodded. "Got you…question though."

"Uh oh."

"What happens if I, too, fall into romanticism? Theoretically?"

Sam frowned. "Resist, Lincoln. You must resist."

My gaze strayed to Celeste. I didn't mean it to, it just happened.

And so did the confession that fell from my lips.

"It's just, I think I get them more now.

The letters and emails. All the writing is because there's so much to say and not enough time to say it.

And putting it all down somehow immortalizes it.

They have years of shared ideas forever preserved and accessible.

Who wouldn't want that? I want that with Celeste. I want everything with her."

Sam stared at me blankly. I raised a brow, waiting for the disapproving response. Instead, I got a half-hearted sigh and an amused smile.

"I think I'm just too…physical for all this," he decided. "I don't get you guys and your need to talk about your feelings constantly."

"I was next door to you for a year," I said. "I know all about your physicality and talk second mentality."

He laughed. "Shut up."

"How are you two?" I asked, nudging my chin toward Aderyn. "How's the adjustment to moving been?"

Sam looked at his girlfriend, who was still trying to teach Celeste (and now, Henrik and Naomi) how to make Jacob's Ladder. "It's different from what I imagined. Leagues better and brighter. Hard. Very hard but…good. I get to be Sam with her. Every side of me fits with her."

"See, you're not too bad at this talking about feelings thing," I teased.

He shook his head, and I added, "I promise I'll get them out of their heads. It is my sworn duty, being the only trusted form of entertainment and all."

"I appreciate it." He held his cup up toward me in salute. "It's nice to know they're in good hands."

Right on cue, Eden appeared in the doorway, taking stock of the room before joining us in the kitchen.

"How's it going, Lincoln?" Her smile called attention to the piercing in her dimples.

Eden's free-form locs had gotten longer and thicker since I'd last seen her.

And her wardrobe had gotten baggier. The oversized black T-shirt she wore hung low enough to hit her knees, which was saying a lot considering she was my height.

I crushed her into a hug, surprised at how nostalgic the sound of her husky voice was.

At one point, I'd considered her my older sister, too.

I'd begged her for car rides, she tutored me in science, and we'd shared copious amounts of vacations in which we'd take turns getting Sam to face his fear of the water, animals, and anything else that was new.

"I missed you," she said, with honesty in every syllable as she took a moment to look at me and then tugged on my hair. "Why did you cut it? It was beautiful."

"Got too annoying to deal with." I laughed. "Wash days were heinous."

"Tell me about it," she lamented.

"Are you guys ready?" Naomi asked. "Finn's got the HDMI working!"

"Ready?" Eden asked.

"PowerPoint night." Her brother explained. "Join us. You'll need to learn for later."

"Do I?" Eden looked unconvinced but curious, nonetheless. She grabbed a ginger ale and joined us in the living room.

I sat on the ground in front of Celeste. She immediately placed her hand on my cheek, thumb rubbing circles on my jaw. I closed my eyes for a second, enjoying her touch and turning in to kiss her palm.

Sam took his place by Aderyn, teasing her with the strings by loosely wrapping them around her wrists.

"Me or you first?" Naomi turned to me from her spot on the floor. Finn held out his hand to her, offering to work the laptop and click the next button on the slides.

"Me," I said. "Mine's boring, so best to get it out of the way. I'll shoot you the email now."