Page 15 of Safety Net (Mendell Hawks #3)

CELESTE

The playhouse was booked up this weekend, so we scheduled our first musical practice outside at Mendell's amphitheater.

It was a small, half-oval stage that was only used a couple of times a year for indie artists' concerts and open markets.

The tiered, stoned seating that curved around the stage was covered in grass, perfect for blankets in the summer and lawn chairs in the winter.

The greenery and floral carvings framing the stone seating made the theatre reminiscent of something stumbled upon in a fairytale set deep in some mystic forest.

Lincoln did all the prep work to ensure we could practice here without violating any campus rules.

I was the first to arrive. I'd changed my outfit six times and my hair twice.

My hands wouldn't stop shaking, and I considered taking something before remembering I'd stopped my anxiety medication last month because of how exhausted it'd made me.

And since then, I'd been trying to find another psychiatrist who didn't make me feel like I was lying when I talked about how speaking to people physically hurt.

I self-soothed with cold water and my noise-cancelling headphones. The Wicked soundtrack played on repeat as I tried to trick my body into believing I was in the safety of my room.

Halle arrived ten minutes before rehearsals with her cousin, Kaya, in tow. In the group chat Lincoln had placed us in and facilitated, he'd explained that Kaya was on board to play the supporting role, thanks to Halle's convincing.

"Hey," Halle greeted in her soft voice. She wore a blue romper that emphasized her short, toned frame. A long braid stretched down her back, elegant as it swayed with every step she took.

"Hi." I snatched off my headphones, dislodging my scrunchie in the process. "Hello."

She didn't seem phased by my double greeting. Halle dropped her bag on the floor and sat crisscrossed in front of me. "This is Kaya. I don't know if you've met."

"I…" We had. At the party last year. But Kaya shook her head, not seeming to remember. And I was too embarrassed to remind her.

"Celeste, right?" Kaya's voice was louder than her cousin's.

Stronger, too. She possessed the kind of muscles that undoubtedly required rigorous upkeep.

Her hair was shorter than it had been last year, the tight coils colored a dark red.

Her skin was the same dark, unblemished brown of her cousin's.

"Celeste," I confirmed, accepting her hand. Her shake was firm, and I did my best to keep my expression neutral. "Thank…thank you guys for doing this."

"Of course!" Halle waved her hand. "I love doing stuff like this between seasons. It's a nice break. And I've never done a show by a Black woman who wrote it for a Black lead."

"Yeah." Kaya nodded in agreement, tone not as enthused. But from what I could recall, she didn't seem impressed with anything that happened around her, so I tried not to take it personally.

I offered them a shaky smile. I wanted to fill the gap in conversation with something witty or funny, but nothing felt good enough.

"Look at this!" Ellis called from the bottom of the stage, pausing for dramatic effect to frame us with his hands. "Three beautiful ladies ready to make history."

I let out a soundless sigh, grateful for his interruption and the attention it drew.

"You didn't send me the script like you promised," Halle scolded as she watched him come up on stage.

"You didn't get the script?" My eyes went wide in horror.

That'd set us back. I'd thought they'd been able to do a couple of readthroughs.

My cheeks burned when I realized I should have followed up in the group chat when I thought of it.

But I'd gotten too nervous about being pushy and eventually let it go since Ellis promised he had it covered.

"Relax." Ellis offered his fist to Kaya for a dab, but she scoffed and gave him the finger instead. They smiled at each other, so I didn't have to worry about issues in the cast just yet…I don't think.

Ellis had been known for letting things roll off his back. So, if there was real tension between the two, would I be aware of it? Should I ask to get ahead of it? Like I should have done with the script?

My thoughts began to spiral, and we hadn't even officially started.

"You're a natural, my love. You're going to pick it up in no time." Ellis sat behind Halle and pulled her into him, allowing her to relax against his chest. She wrinkled her nose, but her frustration seemed to cool down when he rocked her back and forth.

They've been skating partners since their freshman year of high school. The intimacy in their movements was fascinating.

I'm envious of how they could rely on each other.

Regardless of whether it was platonic, like Ellis insisted, or otherwise, the relationship was sweet to witness.

Watching them reminded me of my daydreams of being close enough to someone to lean my back against their chest and know they would support me without question.

I don't think I'll ever meet someone I'd trust to hold me that intimately. Melancholy stung in my chest.

Kaya caught my gaze and offered me a small smile. There was a knowing look in her eyes, a sense of camaraderie in the third wheel fatigue department. That smile promptly vanished when Jack came on the scene.

"Hey, Celeste," he greeted and opted for the spot next to me. "And…everyone else."

They all muttered a greeting. I could tell Ellis wasn't serious, but the girls seemed annoyed with Jack's arrival. Great. Another potential conflict.

"Got this for you." Jack handed me a sheet of paper. "It's the inventory I took this morning."

I raised a brow, accepting the paper. "This morning?"

"Your aunt let me in early. I had to get started on my hours because I have a family thing later."

I scanned the sheet, taking in the level of detail. He'd even gone the extra mile and added notes on the quality of each item. Some were in brand-new condition, and quite a few were in such terrible shape he noted them as hazardous. "Wow, thank you…really, this is amazing."

"I know someone who can get your aunt new lights, by the way." Jack pulled out his phone. "I forgot to give her the number. I'll get you the details in the group chat."

I smiled, grateful. Our first impression wasn't great, but he'd been under stress, so I was more than willing to overlook it in favor of this smoother experience.

I glanced over at the others; they didn't seem to be as forgiving.

I caught Ellis' gaze and gave him a questioning shake of the head.

He shrugged, indicating he wasn't interested in getting into it.

"Sorry, I'm late." Lincoln climbed onto the stage, with a gym bag slung over his shoulder, holding a green travel mug labeled "Mendell U.

" His hair was wet, freshly washed, with curls shining from product.

He smelled of spring, and I immediately wanted to go over to him to discuss the group tension, the scripts, and my nerves about our timeline.

I did no such thing, of course, keeping my seat and waiting patiently for his attention.

I don’t think I've ever wanted someone's attention more than now.

The curious change came from my realization Lincoln wasn't some scary, overbearing person.

Sure, his run-on sentences often threatened to incite a rash whenever I spoke to him.

But he was kind. The type of person who read body language and backed off, asked opinions, and genuinely waited for answers.

I anticipated his attention because I trusted I'd be heard.

And now, more than ever, being listened to was what I needed.

"Did you bring enough for the class?" Halle teased, nudging her chin to the steaming mug.

"When the class proves they're going to kill it, sure," Lincoln said. "For now, the only person worthy is our director."

"Oh…thank you." I stood to accept the cup. Warmth spread throughout my palm, coaxing my muscles into a state of temporary relaxation. The surprise I felt when receiving the drink merged nicely with the relief I gained from his presence. I'm off the hook for relaying plans and dallying out orders.

"Lavender, one sugar, and a splash of oatmilk.” Lincoln turned completely to me as he spoke, blocking out the others. For a moment, we had some privacy as they started talking amongst themselves.

"That sounds…perfect." I pulled the mug into my chest, grateful to have something to do with my hands besides holding them limply at my side.

Lincoln smiled and added in a voice only loud enough for me to hear: "Hope it'll provide some calm amidst the storm."

My smile came easily. His whisper sent a warmth far more comforting than any cup of tea could produce through my body.

"It will." I nodded, more confident in that than in anything else that would happen today.

"I made it myself." He scratched his jaw as if he were unsure he should have shared the information. "Because Naomi told me you prefer it homemade."

I raised a brow, the gesture turning into something even more thoughtful. I didn't know how to react. Instead, I took a sip and it's…

"Alright?" Lincoln shifted his weight from one foot to another, eyes bright with hope and excitement. When I hesitated for a second to force down the intense, leafy mouthful, he added, "You can be honest. I'm learning."

"It's alright." I coughed a bit and used the back of my hand to wipe at the corner of my mouth.

His shoulders sagged. "I can take it."

I looked up at him. The sun shone through his hair, making it a lighter brown.

His easy smile remained despite impending negative feedback.

Lincoln had made me tea when there were about a million and one cafes between here and his place.

Him taking the extra step made me feel even more thankful.

I had this strange urge to squeeze his hand.