Page 30 of Safety Net (Mendell Hawks #3)

CELESTE

Dress rehearsals at the playhouse were a physical slog because the AC broke down on us. My speakers output too much static. And the sets still weren't completed and returned, so Halle and Ellis had to mime most of what they interacted with on stage.

It should be a nightmare. I should be a bundle of unconsolable nerves.

I'm not.

Because I maintained enough calm to remember there were extra fans in the community center's storage.

Lincoln promised the sets would be back this weekend; his assurance helped me let that stressor go.

And Aunt Robyn convinced the musicians at the local seniors' center to not only learn all my pieces but play live for opening night when Ophelia will be in town–and maybe, just maybe, she’d be in the audience.

"Are you doing okay?" Naomi stopped next to my elbow after she got back from bringing in the fans with Sam and Finn. She'd made a habit of hovering, never more than a few feet away. She understood the importance of getting everything in order today.

"I'm good." I kept moving as I set up the tripod. "Nervous, of course. But I'm going to finish this."

Everything was slowly but surely coming together. And I could relax more knowing I did all I could to breathe life into this project.

"What sets we do have are set." Lincoln joined us with a big smile on his face. His presence was the catalyst for my quiet, calm sigh.

"Halle and Co. are ready. I got the lighting to work and taught Sam and Henrik how to operate the controls."

I chewed on my inner cheek while doing a final check of my notes. "I think we're ready to go."

"Really?" Naomi asked, brows raised, impressed and excited.

"Really." I nodded to Lincoln to give everyone else the green light.

"Alright, guys," Lincoln spoke through a mini megaphone he'd gotten from heaven knows where.

It did wonders in projecting his voice, but it also morphed it into a high-pitched tone.

He sounded like a tiny version of himself.

It was hard to take him seriously whenever he spoke, but we all gave it our best effort.

I personally love fighting off a laugh; it's a great distraction. Infinitely soothing for the nerves.

"Places," he said. "Let's put on a show."

Finn and Sam don't have any issue dimming the lights. Jack and Henrik easily open the curtains. And as soon as Halle came on stage, I was lost in the production like I would be in any other show.

It wasn’t perfect, but somehow, it was right.

In all its flaws—because of its flaws—it's right.

And it was me. I was threaded into every part of the lyrics.

It didn't matter it was a small glimpse into a world that may never fully come to life.

My voice was loud enough to carry through, making everything feel whole.

"Well?" Lincoln looked at me when it was over.

I blinked, trying to see through the watery blur of my exhaustion and happiness.

My cast directed their attention to me, waiting for my approval.

The ache in my throat made it hard to think, let alone speak.

For the first time, I didn't need to ask for someone's opinion.

Everyone else's thoughts didn't matter right now. I’d spent so much time swimming in other realities, I’d forgotten mine could be as bright if I'd just given it a chance.

"I love it." My gaze broke from the stage, meeting Lincoln's. "I can't believe I love it."

And I had another revelation that made it difficult to breathe: If I could love this piece with all its rough edges, I, in turn, should be able to love the person who created it.

I'd found a way to love me in all my misshapen, not fitting in, on-the outside-looking-in glory. In this little life, that's all one could ask for.

"It's ready? We're ready?" Lincoln asked, looking for the go-ahead to tell everyone else.

I nodded. "Yeah, this is it. We did it."

"It's a go!" Lincoln called to the others with his hands in the air.

They cheered. Naomi hugged me from behind before going to celebrate with everyone else on stage.

"I'm so proud of you." Lincoln remained at my side, voice low and nearly drained out from the excitement of everyone else. They'd dove into plans of celebration at the end of practicing and the end of summer.

"I wouldn't have made it this far without you." I slipped my hand into his, squeezing to communicate my overflowing gratefulness. "And I'm not just talking about the musical."

"You would have," Lincoln promised. "You shine too bright not to."

The house burst with music, laughter, and the scent of sugar. The windows were open, letting in a comforting cross breeze that was starting to smell more of fall than summer.

Naomi and Finn worked side by side, pulling clean dishes from the washer and placing them in the overhead cabinets.

Halle had volunteered to mix drinks, and Jack had protested, citing a lack of skill.

Sam suggested they both be put on the task.

And Aderyn — who'd dropped by earlier than we expected—suggested she film it for documentation's sake.

"Trust me, girl," Aderyn told Halle. "When you win, you're going to want proof."

Halle nodded. "Good looking out."

I sat at the kitchen's island, sandwiched between Ellis and Kaya.

My cousin was trying to sell her on possible cross-promotion plans for next year.

Last semester, Mendell's women's and men's hockey teams collaborated to develop a brand and promote their games.

Ellis wanted to work with Kaya on expanding their reach into the world of figure skating.

"I promise you, I have more to offer than these puck-slinging guys," Ellis joked, jerking his chin toward said puck-slingers. "Our audiences have a lot of crossover."

"Maybe." She looked at me and asked, "What do you think?"

I blinked, quiet for a moment, not sure she had addressed me. "What do I think?"

Kaya nodded, placing her hand on her chin as she looked at me. She genuinely wanted my opinion.

"I think…" I paused, giving the question the time it deserved. I didn't feel the need to rush because everyone here was used to waiting for me to gather my thoughts.

I surprised myself by not attempting to figure out what Kaya wanted me to say. I wasn't in the business of mind-reading anymore.

"From what I know about hockey and figure skating—especially when it comes to the women's team, there's definite crossover appeal.

You guys could do those videos of hockey players trying a figure skating routine and vice versa.

It'd be entertaining," I said. "And Ellis is good at entertaining a crowd. "

Kaya nodded, face solemn, but there was a small spark of curiosity in her eyes. "Alright."

The one word was downright enthusiasm when it came to her. Ellis laughed and asked to switch seats with me so he could further explain what he thought next semester could look like for them.

"Thirsty?" Lincoln appeared behind me and set down a grocery bag on the counter. He'd disappeared as soon as we'd gotten to the house, claiming he'd be back in the blink of an eye.

"That was more than a blink." I teased.

Lincoln placed a hand on the small of my back and kissed my temple so gently I barely felt it. When I smiled and leaned in, he gave me a longer kiss.

"Is that okay?" he asked in a whisper, referencing the public display of affection. He pulled back just in case.

I nodded, heart fluttering. "It's perfect."

"I got you some non-alcoholic beverages," he said. "Didn't know what you might be in the mood for, so I grabbed a little bit of everything."

I smiled. "I see."

The grocery bag held ginger ale, lemonades, and those fancy, fizzy, health-boosting drinks that weren't exactly sodas.

"Wanted you to have options." Lincoln unloaded the bag. "Whatever you don't drink we'll put in my mini fridge upstairs and whenever—if ever you come over--you'll have something."

"Whenever," I confirmed. "Thank you."

He kissed my forehead this time. "Now, what do you want me to use for your mocktail? Lil lemonade, some ginger ale, grape juice?"

I laughed and shook my head, overwhelmed with the options. "Surprise me?"

"You sure?"

"I trust you."

Lincoln's smile grew. You'd think I'd given him the world. I smiled back, understanding the feeling.

Lincoln joined Henrik on the other side of the counter, setting my drink supplies down before asking his friend if he needed anything.

"Grab the cake for me?" Henrik pulled out covered dishes from the refrigerator, each one more elaborate and beautiful than the next. The food set out before us drew everyone's attention.

"Now, this is for Celeste," Henrik announced as Lincoln set down a two-tier, star-shaped cake. The base icing was pink, and its corners were overflowing with delicate frosted flowers. In gentle cursive, Henrik had written,

For our brilliant songwriter, Celeste.

"Henrik," Naomi said, voice soaked in the same emotion that made my throat tighten and my eyes water. I couldn't speak just yet. Thank God Henrik had more to say.

"This is my grandfather's lucky recipe." Henrik pulled out spoons from the drawer and started handing them out to everyone.

"It's lavender with rosemary and vanilla.

And before we dive in—" Henrik stopped to give Ellis a warning look when he noticed my cousin trying to swipe a bit of icing onto his spoon.

"—there's a bit of tradition we must uphold. "

We all stood (or sat) at attention for Henrik's explanation.

"In my family, you bake this kind of cake when someone is starting a new chapter of their life.

So, we bake it with intention. And I intended to make something that'll bring you peace, Celeste.

I hope when you submit this project, no matter what happens, you'll know you did everything you could and you deserve to enjoy it. "

Everyone's gaze turned to me, and there was a familiar need to perform rising in my belly. Lincoln was at my side in an instant. He slipped a spoon in my hand, keeping his fingers wrapped around mine so I was steady.

"And my intention—" Lincoln started.

"You helped make this?" I asked in a whisper.

"I did." Lincoln smiled. "Couldn't let Hen have all the fun."

"He did the flowers," Henrik said.

"They're stunning, Lincoln," Aderyn said as she leaned on the counter to get a closer look.

"Incredible," Naomi agreed and gave me a look that seemed to ask, "Do you see how much they love you? I love you, we love you?"

I blinked, trying to keep back the tears. I held onto Lincoln's hand like was the edge of a cliff.

"Who would have thought you could stay still long enough?" Jack said, ruefully admiring the design.

"Knew someone could bring it out of him." Sam nodded his approval at Henrik.

"I'm a very proud teacher," Henrik said.

"Alright, alright," Lincoln said. "Yes, I'm capable of doing a detail-oriented thing. Now, can I share?"

"Go for it." Henrik gestured that the floor was his.

"My intention," Lincoln started, voice softening when his gaze met mine. "Was that you find a way to accept you are a light. A star—which is rather on the nose, I know, but I couldn't let Henrik's design skills go to waste."

I laughed despite the lump in my throat.

"I'm not saying this because I'm in love with you," Lincoln continued more seriously.

My heart stopped. He continued talking, and I didn't think he knew what he'd just confessed. But a couple of people exchanged knowing smiles, which assured me I hadn't imagined it.

I'm a bundle of the lovely kind of nerves. The type of energy that made me restless with the need to do something like play my favorite album front to back, sing every lyric, and compose my own addition to the soundtrack.

"I'm saying it because it's true," Lincoln said. "And whatever happens with your musical, you've already shifted the balance of the universe. You've already made your mark. You don't need proof of that."

"You all are sickeningly sweet," Halle said with her chin resting in her hand as she admired everyone in the household.

"I really want to fucking hate it," Kaya chimed in. "But I can't."

Halle sighed. "I know."

"It's easier said than done," Jack agreed.

Henrik laughed. "Alright, we'll wrap it up. Lincoln?"

"Right," Lincoln said, having to tear his gaze away from me. "We all have to dip our spoons in at the same time. When you do, you make a wish for Celeste."

"It's vital that it's at the same time," Henrik said. "Otherwise, it won't work and we'll be cursed forever.”

"Jeez, no pressure," Aderyn said.

"Okay, focus, you guys." Sam held up three fingers, ready to count down. "Ready positions."

They all held the spoons out, reaching over the counter to claim a spot on the edge of the star.

"Me too?" I asked Henrik.

Henrik nodded with a smile. "Of course."

Lincoln placed a hand on my back, holding me steady as I reached a shaky hand forward.

Sam counted us down. We all dipped into the cake.

I had no solid evidence, but a part of me knew we'd taken our spoonful at the same time.

A part of me understood every single person in this room wanted the best for me.

They'd do whatever they could to make it happen.

And I'd do the same for them in a heartbeat.

I was a part of a tapestry. A string of thread in this complicatedly beautiful design. And as we all ate our bites, the reality of being connected washed over me. Their wishes became cloaks over my doubts. The good intentions burned out the darkness.

"I'm so much better at music than words, so I know this might not…

communicate everything I want," I said softly, forcing myself to talk because I needed to try to get them to understand how they'd changed a part of me forever.

"But this summer has meant everything to me.

What you guys have done… I'm never going to be able to thank you enough, but… I won't ever stop trying."

"Celeste." Naomi smiled. "That right there is more than enough."

"A little post-partying could also show us how much you love us," Lincoln teased, breaking through the heaviness with ease.

"Oh, this is going to be good." Ellis smiled at the idea of me at a party.

"Let's get it started," Sam said, picking up a shot glass and holding it towards me in a salute. "To new friends, good music, and dreams coming true."

We cheered, downed our respective drinks, and the room became alive again with overlapping voices.

Lincoln hugged me from behind and kissed my cheek before asking, "You okay?"

"More than," I promised, covering my hand over his and finally feeling like it for the first time.