Page 29 of Safety Net (Mendell Hawks #3)

"We still could," Finn said. "It's a pending probation, not suspension. There's time, and you don't throw in the towel just because there's a limited amount. I'm down for extra practices. I like being on the ice with you."

"As far as being worth the investment goes." Sam's steady voice called for all our attention. "Who the hell convinced you of that?"

I swallowed, trying to figure out how to explain how deeply rooted my belief was. It was so far down it didn’t seem worth digging. Unearthing the roots felt impossible.

"My folks did," I muttered. "I guess. A long time ago. Honestly, I forgot about it until recently. Somewhere down the line, their voice morphed into mine. And I've been telling myself this whole time, I'm not worth it."

"Where's your proof?" Sam challenged. "Because I don't give a damn about what your parents said or what the voice in your head adopted.

I don't know them; I don't know that voice in your head.

And honestly, after hearing this, I have no interest in it.

I know you. And I need you to give me proof that you're not worth it. "

"Well, I can't commit, I can't focus. I didn't choose hockey, I followed the leader all the way to Mendell.

" I counted my many flaws on my hand. "And here I don't know what the hell I'm doing half the time.

The one thing I want is Celeste and me, but even in that aspect, I don't know if that's going to happen because if there's one thing for certain, I'm going to find a way to fuck it up. "

"My god, you talk so much." Sam rolled his eyes. "And still, you can't give me solid evidence."

I let out a dry laugh. "Is the failure of my academic career, being dropped by my personal trainer, and not being able to match the energy of the woman I'm in love with, not enough proof for you?"

"Not even close," Sam shut me down. "Want to know why?"

I scoffed. "Enlighten me."

"You haven't even tried. You shut out all of us," Sam said. "You listened to a part of you led by fear instead of listening to the people who know that when Lincoln Hill puts his mind to something, it's game over.”

"You really don't see it?" Finn's forehead wrinkled. "How much do you mean to us? How much we see in you?"

"I don't hang out with losers," Sam agreed. "It's depressing and leads nowhere. You think I would have driven hours to confront a loser?"

Despite all nerves, sorrow, and embarrassment twisting in my stomach, I laughed.

"I can't stand you," I said.

Sam smiled. "Likewise."

"I do have a plan, a sort of plan.” I scratched at my brow. "My last-ditch effort to fix everything. Figure this all out by fall."

"We'll figure this out by fall," Sam corrected. "Because you are stuck with us, whether you like it or not. And investment is our top priority."

My throat tightened at the firm, unrelenting look in his eyes.

Naomi nodded. "I've got tutoring covered."

"Same here," Henrik said. "Your paper writing skills are…wanting. I need editing practice anyway."

"As far as the ice goes," Finn said. "Do you remember I'm one of the top scorers in the league?"

"Vaguely," I teased, still trying to mask the overwhelming feeling of having my six covered four times over.

"I'll put you to work," Finn promised.

"You don't have to figure out where you fit, Lincoln," Sam said. "Because it's here. With us. No matter where we move or how we change, this right here is solid ground. Understood?"

There were no words for the eclipsing relief I felt at hearing those words. Letting them sink into my skin and become a part of the story I told myself. Accepting they're forever part of my story, regardless of how my jaded emotions attempted to convince me otherwise.

I'm no longer some kid in the attic counting days until I have someone to talk to. My body had been unknowingly stuck there for almost a decade. My reality revealed the door to something brighter had been opened a long time ago.

"I do," I told them. "I understand."

"In love, huh?" Naomi appeared at my side, offering me a paper cup filled with lemonade.

Finn's uncle, Aaron, had prepared us a whole spread of snacks and drinks to keep us fueled during the unloading process.

We'd spent half an hour getting the pre-cut wood from the van into Aaron's studio.

Now, Henrik, Naomi, and I were trying to catch our breath, lounging in the old lawn chairs set in front of the house.

Sam and Finn were in Aaron's studio, asking a million and one questions about his work.

Finn's interest in building had been growing over the past year.

And Sam's interest in people was ever constant.

"You caught that?" I accepted the cup and patted the chair beside me.

Naomi smiled and relaxed beside me, sipping her own drink and holding a napkin filled with cheese and crackers. "Of course."

"It's the first time I said it out loud."

"How did it feel?" Naomi asked.

"Like it's been on the tip of my tongue for ages."

"Celeste means the world to me." Naomi picked at her food as she spoke.

Her expression was a mix of a kind of solemn seriousness I didn't realize existed in her repertoire.

"She physically has a family, but… they're not really there, and that leaves a hole, you know?

I've spent years watching that hole grow, watching her become more isolated.

Close off because nothing really fits. And people don't often give her a chance. "

"I understand," I said.

"But she has me." Her voice softened. "For a while we just had each other."

"I wouldn't say that's just. You two fill up too much space to be "just" anything."

They'd created things in a world that wasn't always kind and hardly ever accepting. But they managed to be both those things and so much more.

"I'm rooting for you, Lincoln. I'm rooting for you two together. I love how you love her. I see it in everything you do for and with her."

"But," I prompted with a knowing smile. I didn't underestimate Naomi because she was nice and sweet. She was a woman who would ensure, no matter what, her friend would be safe.

"If any of this ever changes, trust she has someone else who loves her as much, if not more than you ever will. Regardless of what happens between you two, she will be okay, I'll make sure of that. But be good to her, okay?"

"I promise, with every ounce of my being, I'm going to take care of her. There's nothing I won't do to take care of her."

Naomi nodded and offered me her cup to ‘cheers.’ "Here's to loving the sweetest person we know."

"Here's to making sure she's happy." I touched my cup to hers. "Forever and always."

"Forever and always," Naomi agreed.