Page 46 of Safe (King’s Heart #1)

Landon

It’s loud as hell in the cafeteria. I wish everyone would shut up.

Grant hasn’t looked my way once since he broke me. Anytime he passed me in the hallway last week, his eyes stayed straight ahead. That same pissed off look on his face that he always has for everyone. He really doesn’t care about what happened. And that feels like absolute shit.

When our game came on Friday, he did his job—played well, but still didn’t interact with me at all.

It did make me feel a little better that he didn’t seem to talk to anyone else either. Not even Javi. Then ran off right when the game was over.

I tried my best to ignore the ache in my chest during the game, focusing instead on my future and impressing the scout from Calhoun University who was sitting up in the stands, intently watching all of us.

To my thankful surprise, I played well, and after the game, he came up to me and offered me a scholarship to play on their Division One team.

It’s honestly the perfect scenario. Close to home, so I’ll still be able to check in on my family.

And hopefully, once I’m there and playing really well, a business or sponsor will want to pay for my name or likeness, and that money will go to my family until I start getting real money in the NFL.

In the meantime, Danny and Gwen will stay with Simmons until my mom gets out.

Things seem to finally be starting to fall into place for me. Not perfectly. But I can tell that this aspect of my life will be okay.

Now the other part? The Grant part? It’s just a big clusterfuck that makes me want to rip my chest open and bleed out all over the floor.

Jesus . I’m not usually that dark. This is fucking me up.

I haven’t been back to our room.

I still have a bunch of clothes in the dorm, but I can’t possibly go in there. What if I were to walk in when he’s in the middle of fucking Trevor? Or someone else even? That would kill me.

I’ve been staying on Simmons’s couch, sullen and depressed, riding the city bus every morning to drag myself through school.

None of them even asked what was wrong or why I was there. I think they could sense that I wasn’t ready to talk. They just accepted me in and distracted me by being themselves.

Now it’s the following Tuesday, and Grant hasn’t been at school since Friday.

I know that because despite how quickly he discarded me, I’m still completely, hopelessly in love with him and can’t stop looking for him in the masses of students every day.

I shove more school lasagna in my mouth, chewing mechanically even though my taste buds don’t seem to be working.

“Wanna hang out after school?” Declan asks cheerfully. Much more cheerfully than I’ve heard him speak since meeting him.

“Huh?”

“Hang with me?” he repeats, still with an unnatural smile on his face as he caps the deep green nail polish he was using and blows on his wet nails.

I know he’s trying to be nice, but I don’t want to do jack shit.

I wasn’t planning on telling him what happened, but he kind of stumbled upon it.

Declan had walked up to me last week while I was at my locker switching out books for my next class. He was aimlessly complaining about something, but I could barely hear him. Too busy letting my pain yell in my ears to hear anything else.

Grant came down the hall and walked right past, a gaggle of his friends surrounding him. No look in my direction at all.

Declan’s head followed him the entire time he passed, and then slowly turned back to me with wide, indignant eyes. “Is he fucking serious?” he asked incredulously.

I tried to quietly explain to him what had happened, but Declan hardly does anything quietly, so his reaction was very loud.

“I told him!” he yelled, shaking his head before trying to take off after him down the hall.

Unfortunately for him, my reflexes are pretty quick, so I was able to grab onto the collar of his blazer and haul him back in my direction before he could get close.

He mostly promised that he’d leave it alone, but he can’t help glaring at him every chance he gets.

“Meh,” I say as a noncommittal answer to his invitation.

He cocks his head. “Come on. We can order pizza and eat ice cream again. Watch trashy TV. It’ll be fun.”

I’m about to tell him “maybe” which really means “no, I’d rather wallow alone and fall asleep crying again,” when a shadow falls over our table.

Declan and I both look up at the same time, but he’s quicker to open his mouth. “No,” he says with finality.

Trevor looks at him, narrowing his eyes, but Declan doesn’t back down, raising his brows and flicking his eyes in the direction Trevor came from. “You may go now.”

“I’m here to talk to Landon.”

“Still no.”

“Dec,” I interject, placing my hand on his tense forearm. “It’s okay.” I look at Trevor. Cataloging his features that are so much softer than mine. Maybe that’s why Grant wants him and not me. My stomach gives a nauseating clench.

“What do you want?” I mutter more angrily than I mean to.

I would really love to tell him to fuck off, but my curiosity is too much for me. I’m not sure why he’s here, or what he could possibly have to say to me.

He tentatively takes a seat, his eyes never leaving Declan, who looks like he’d like to jump across the table at him.

“Dec,” I say, snapping at him so he looks at me.

“What?”

“Stop glaring at him.”

“No.”

I roll my eyes and turn my attention to Trevor as he fidgets with his hands in his lap.

He clears his throat. “I just… I just wanted to tell you that-that nothing happened between me and Grant.”

My eyes narrow. “What do you mean?”

He lets out a sigh and crumples a bit, looking helpless.

“He texted me and said he wanted to look at my chem notes. Just my chem notes. That’s it.

When I got there he was all weird. Told me to mess up my hair and sit on the bed.

I tried to ask him what was going on, but he just shushed me until you walked into the room. ”

His eyes look down at the table, panic starting to take over as he looks at random points and continues his story.

“Then he started acting like we had just had sex. I don’t know why he said that or acted like that.

” He looks up at me with guilt in his eyes.

“I know you guys are together or like… are something . Everyone can tell. I’d never come between anyone. That’s not who I am.”

I sit back in my chair. “So… he faked cheating on me? Wh-why?”

Trevor shakes his head. “I don’t know. I told him it was stupid and that I was going to tell you, but he told me not to. I was just feeling so horrible, and you look so sad. I felt like?—”

“Trevor,” I softly interrupt him. “It’s okay. I know it’s not your fault, and you don’t have the answers. Thank you for telling me.”

He stares at me with wide, apologetic eyes, shifting uncomfortably in the chair before standing up. “Uh. Okay. I’m really sorry, Landon.” Then he turns and leaves us.

I push away the lasagna, finally giving up on eating anything and stare at the table, letting the silence float around me.

A scoff bursts out of Declan’s mouth after a few moments. “What the hell? You don’t have anything to say? This is such a weird turn of events.”

I shrug, still joylessly staring at the table. “I’m just… trying to process everything.” And I am. Because why would he do that? “But really, I’m thinking that this makes it all worse.”

“What? Why? He didn’t actually cheat on you.”

I look up at him. “Yeah, but that’s how much he didn’t want to be with me? Make up some fake scenario of him cheating to get me to leave? It makes me feel like even more of an idiot. And at the end of the day, it still means he doesn’t want me. So nothing really changes.”

That’s what it has to mean. There couldn’t be some other reason. And I would have to be a complete idiot to still think he felt anything for me after doing that.

He purses his lips, flicking his eyes around the cafeteria before giving a slight shake of his head. “I don’t know. Something about all of this is weird. Grant is not the type to fake cheat. I mean, right? He would just cheat—he’s a dick like that. And now he’s been absent… I don’t know.”

Putting my elbows up on the table, I rest my chin in my hands and sigh. “So, what’re you thinking it is then?”

He snaps his head toward me, a scowl on his face. “I. Don’t. Know. I just said that.” He waves a dismissive hand at me. “You’re not listening.” He pauses for a moment. “Maybe you could talk to Javi? Ask him if he knows anything.”

“ You talk to Javi.”

His scowl deepens. “Fuck no.”

I put on my saddest face for him. “I really don’t like talking to people right now.”

“Me either. But that’s pretty much always true for me.”

I stare at him for a long moment.

He rolls his eyes and groans. “Ugh. Fine. The things I do because you’re technically my only and best friend.”

I smile.

He takes a moment to check that his nails are mostly dry, then pulls one of his doodle-filled notebooks out of his backpack and hunches over it, starting to draw. “Don’t you dare fucking smile.”