Page 34 of Safe (King’s Heart #1)

Grant

Shifting from foot to foot, I look up at the ceiling of the locker room, trying to make it look like I have something to do—that I’m not pathetically waiting around for him.

I walked him to each of his classes today, dragging him by his bicep, reveling in how good it felt to touch him.

I was trying to prove to him that I’m going to change—toward him, anyway. And I couldn’t do that if it seemed like I was only trying to get in his pants.

Although, that is what I’m doing, right? I need him for all those times where the shadows try to fucking suffocate me. I need him to kiss, suck, fuck, rub—anything to help my mind float away to somewhere else.

So, I really am trying to get in his pants.

Or get him in mine. But… I don’t know… it doesn’t feel like it’s only that.

The longer I’m in his presence, the more I just want to be around him .

Not do anything. Just be there. Feel his aura.

Let him wash me in something other than the darkness and decay.

My brain feels like a jumbled mess right now, so I’m not really sure how to untangle everything I’m feeling about him. Or if I feel anything at all.

He comes around the corner, his movements stalling as he adjusts his King’s Heart hoodie when he sees me.

When he casts a quick glance behind him and sees that he’s the last one to leave, he raises an eyebrow at me. “Uh, hey.”

I fiddle with the drawstrings on my track pants. “I—uh—thought we could walk back to the dorm together.”

A smile stretches onto his face, but there’s still a thin layer of distrust right under it. “Okay.”

I nod while trying to hide the quirk of my lips.

We walk in silence for a bit. And I don’t even mind. I can feel him next to me, his energy lifting me up.

I don’t care if he never wants to talk to me again. As long as he never leaves.

“So, I’ve had this question for a while,” he starts, his hands in his hoodie pocket and head pointed toward the sidewalk.

My hackles rise.

No one knows.

“Okay,” I say, trying to keep my voice even and sounding bored.

“Where did you sleep when you were avoiding me?”

All of the tension melts out of me as I let an actual smile on my face.

“Oh. I slept at Javi’s until his stepdad kicked me out.

And then I actually uh…” I palm the back of my neck, chancing a glance at him.

His face is trained on me, those warm cinnamon eyes caressing every part of my sad soul.

“I slept in my car for a couple nights.”

His eyes widen.

“Wow.” He shakes his head and looks forward. “You wanted to get away from me that much that you slept in your car?”

I wince. “Yeah. Pretty dramatic.”

He laughs, pulling his hood up over his head against the wind. “Maybe a bit.”

We continue our trek, me walking as slowly as I can to not burst this bubble with him. I’ve somehow drifted closer, my shoulder brushing his every other step.

“So, what do you want to do after you graduate?”

I look over at him, my brow drawn in confusion.

He shrugs back at me. “It’s weird. We’ve been around each other all this time. Been so connected. You had my fucking dick in your mouth… but I don’t really know you.”

I do my best to ignore the memories that resurface of me kneeling for him. How he tasted. How he responded.

Despite my best efforts, I still feel a zing of desire race down my spine before answering him. “To be honest, I’m not completely sure. I don’t really care enough about football to play in college. Just go somewhere… get a place close to campus. Try to be normal.”

He nods. “That sounds nice.”

“What about you?”

He tips his face up to the sky in thought.

A few drops of rain fall from above, sprinkling onto his beautiful features.

When he looks back at me, they roll down his face.

I desperately want to touch them. To gently wipe them away.

To help him—even in that small way—trying to repay all the help he gives me without even knowing it.

“Get a football scholarship somewhere. Hopefully close by because I still have my brother and sister that need me. Then go to the NFL.” He looks a little sheepish, pursing his lips to the side and looking away from me.

“The NFL might be a little far-fetched, but I’m going to work as hard as I can to make sure it happens.

I don’t really have a choice. If I don’t, my family will continue down the path they’re on, and I can’t let that happen. ”

Guilt tears through my chest, thinking of all the terrible things I’ve said to him. How I played on his suffering, using it as fuel for my own twisted form of catharsis.

I halt on the sidewalk, bring my hands up to my eyes, rubbing them hard. “Fuck. I’m sorry,” I grind out.

“Hey.” He pulls my hands down, looking at me with those eyes. The kind ones. The ones I don’t deserve after everything I’ve said and done to him. Trying to drive him away, but only succeeding in becoming obsessed with him. Or maybe I always was. Even when we were ten-year-old kids.

“You were a piece of shit,” he says matter of factly. “But I’m giving you another chance because I can see that you need it. I can see that you’re burned inside—charred and flaking away, and I want to try to help you. However I can.”

“Why?” I croak out, thankful that the rain has picked up, covering us in rapidly falling water, hiding the tear that rolls down my cheek.

“I think there still might be something underneath all the scorched parts.”

The moment the last word comes out of his mouth, the dark sky opens up, and a torrential downpour comes down on us.

“Oh shit,” he yells as he darts away.

I follow after him, both of us cutting through one of the lawns so we can get to our dorm faster. But we don’t notice the gardening the maintenance workers had done earlier in the day, digging up the grass to plant some new trees.

One second Landon is running in front of me, the next he’s on the ground, having slipped in a muddy, water-soaked part of the grass.

I run up to him in a panic, worried that he’s hurt himself.

A confused frown overtakes my face once I reach him, watching as he holds his stomach in a fit of laughter. “Are you okay?”

He laughs harder. “I just—” He looks down at himself, his clothes soaked with mud, a smear of it running across his forehead. “I’m fucking dirty as shit.”

I smile—not trying to hide it this time. “Come on.”

I reach my hand out to help him up. He takes it, his legs fighting against the slippery ground. He’s almost up when his foot slips out from under him. “Ah, fuck!” he shouts as we both go down.

I fall right next to him, making a loud, wet plop when the front of my body lands in the mud.

He can barely breathe from how hard he’s laughing. I watch him for a moment. How he finds happiness in this annoying situation. How despite how dark it is, his face lights up, reflecting off all the rain falling around us.

My body absorbs that light, letting his goodness flow through me. Contaminating me.

At first, it’s just a small chuckle. Something that bursts out when I don’t mean it to. But it grows. Boiling over from the inside until I’m the same as him. Gasping for air as we loudly laugh together.

It slowly dissipates until we’re silent. We both sit up but don’t move off the ground while our eyes greedily stare at each other. The intensity of it amplified by the air that’s suddenly sizzling around us.

He crawls the foot of space between us, never taking his eyes off me, before harshly grabbing my face and bringing it to his. I instantly moan and drive my tongue into his mouth, while he climbs onto my lap, pressing our groins together. He tastes like rain and earth, and I never want it to stop.

Our wet, cold clothing does nothing to me. I’m burning up with every press of his hard cock into mine. He rolls his hips, sending zaps of delirious pleasure through every limb.

He breaks the kiss to nip at my jaw. I grab onto his ass, encouraging him to rut into me harder. “Fuck, yes, Lan,” I moan.

Letting out a feral growl, he writhes harder on top of me. “Call me that again, pet.”

“Huh?”

“Call me ‘Lan,’” he rumbles. “No one’s ever called me that. Only you. It’s-it’s only for you.”

Only for me. Only for me. Only for me.

My brain short circuits. “Yes, Lan. K-keep going. Don’t fucking stop,” I plead, my voice a breathy shell of itself.

His hips stop, and I about fucking die. A whine rips from my mouth. “No. Why?”

He pants in my mouth then gives me one last searing kiss. “Let’s go finish inside.”

I move as fast I can, wrenching both of us out of the mud with newly discovered strength. Anything to get him back on top of me.

We both start running again, but not to escape the rain this time. Somehow, his hand finds mine, pulling me after him. I try to ignore how dizzy it makes me feel, like he’s injected something euphoric right into my veins.

Something I might never get over.