Page 11 of Safe (King’s Heart #1)

Landon

A week goes by where I try to keep my head down, focusing on school work and football while I’m on campus, and then a whole mess of other shit once I’m back with my family in the trailer.

Everyone at school is still trying to do dumb shit. Knocking my books out of my hands. Shoving me in the hallway during passing time. Tackling me much harder than necessary at practice. Spewing insults in my face.

On top of all that, it somehow got around that I saw Trevor getting plowed by Grant, and now they all think I’m a weird creep who’s trying to stalk Grant because I’m thirsty for his cock.

It’s all petty and stupid, but I’m not letting it get to me. I mean, most days I feel like I’m about to snap my jaw in half from how hard I clench it, but I haven’t lashed out at anyone.

I’ve also definitely been ignoring the fact that my cock got very excited when I looked at Grant’s dick.

I still don’t quite get it. Why it did that at the sight of him having freshly fucked someone out.

I weighed the idea of looking at gay porn—see if my dick had any ideas about that.

But I have no way to really do that at home.

The walls of the trailer are paper thin, so watching in my room is out of the question.

I can’t hide in the bathroom to do it—someone needs to get in there practically every five minutes, and there’s only one.

My dick has barely been jerked in the past five months because of all of that, and when I do, it has to be quick and rushed—ease the tension and move on. No romancing myself.

I’ve been looking around at the guys’ faces at school, seeing if it sparks any newly found interest. I can objectively see that some are handsome. But my dick stays aggressively soft inside my pants.

Maybe it was an adrenaline thing. My brain thought I was about to get the shit beat out of me for walking in on that, so it said, “Better just get every part of him excited—never know what will save him.”

“Whatcha thinking about?” Declan mumbles at our lunch table as he concentrates on his shoe he has propped up on the edge, using a red sharpie to decorate the sides.

I take all of two seconds to decide that I can share this with him. I’m not ashamed. If I like men, then I just want to figure it out. And it’s been implied that he’s not straight, so maybe he can help me sift through this.

I clear my throat. “How did you know you liked guys?”

His hand stills as he flicks his eyes up to mine.

Quickly capping his marker, he sets it aside and sits up straight in his chair while rubbing his hands together.

“Okay. Yes. Let’s do this.” He taps his chin a few times, looking up at the ceiling.

“Uh, Jonathan Barker. First Grade. He smiled at me and my stomach got all melted inside.”

There’s a wistful smile on his face, like he’s replaying the moment in his mind. He sighs and looks back at me. “And then I definitely knew the first time I had a cock in my mouth. Ah, c'est magnifique! ” He brings his hand up to his mouth and mimics a chef’s kiss.

I snort and take a bite of my cheeseburger but don’t say anything, letting everything he said run around my mind as I slowly chew my food.

“You should suck a dick. That’ll help you figure it out.”

I startle, inhaling some of the chewed up cheeseburger and coughing loudly.

Declan gets up and bangs against my back a few times.

Once I’ve cleared my throat, he sits and I glance up while wiping away the tears to see that most of the cafeteria is looking at me, including Grant, his green eyes glaring at me.

I tear my gaze away from him, looking back at Declan. My voice is a little hoarse from the coughing. “I feel like maybe I should walk before I run.”

He nods, pursing his lips in thought. “Okay, you have a point. I’d offer to be your experiment, but, if I’m being honest, you’re my only friend kind of thing, and I’d rather not lose that.”

“Aw, Dec.” I drop my cheeseburger and hold my hand up to my heart, reaching my other one to the back of his chair. “That’s how you really feel about me?”

“Oh my god, shut up.” He hunches over and grabs his marker again, uncapping it and refusing to look at me. “Do not take that as a compliment.”

I smile at his reaction and go back to my food.

After a few moments, he lifts his head and scans the tables around us, head tilting as his eyes land on someone. “Kiss Grant.”

A sputter out a laugh. Thankfully there’s no food in my mouth this time so I avoid choking. “Why? So I can get murdered?”

He rolls his eyes. “Please. Tale as old as time. He’s acting like a janky-ass bitch because he likes you. He probably wouldn’t push you away if you tried.” He tilts his head toward me like he’s made such a good point.

I shake my head. “Nah. He’s just an asshole.”

He ignores my rejection of his idea. “You could try at his party this weekend.”

“What party?”

“For his eighteenth birthday. I mean, he turned eighteen over the summer, but he waits until school starts to have a party at his house. Or his uncle’s house or whatever.” He waves his hand dismissively.

My ears perk up at that detail. “His uncle’s house?”

“Yeah.” He continues drawing swirls on his Converses on top of the table.

“It’s kind of weird honestly. He invites everyone, then gets super fucked up, and lets everyone trash the house.

Seriously. Last year he was just sitting there watching everyone partying.

People would break shit, dance on the tables—he didn’t do shit to stop anything.

They even threw a mattress off the roof into the yard.

” He shrugs. “It’ll probably be the same kind of thing this year. ”

I shake my head again. “Sounds interesting, but I promise he doesn’t want me there.”

“I doubt he’d even know you were there,” he counters. “That’s how shit-faced he gets.”

I nod my head slowly, but a bad feeling worms its way into my gut. Everything Declan just described about these parties sounds… really weird. I can’t put my finger on the exact reason why I don’t like it, but something is wrong with that.

“Listen,” he continues. “No pressure. Think it over. And if you decide to not risk it on Grant, there’ll be plenty of other people there.”

“You have a point. I’ll think about it. And hey—” I wait until he looks up from his shoes at me. “You’re my only friend too.”

He rolls his eyes again, but I see a small smile spread across his glittery face, before concentrating back on his task. “I don’t think we should be admitting this to anyone else. It all sounds really sad.”

I bark a laugh. Grant snaps his head in my direction, sneering before going back to his friends.

Yeah. Sure. That guy likes me.

Declan is out of his fucking mind.