Page 19 of Saddle Studs (Rainbow Ranch #3)

BENNY

Sam’s body turned to clay in my hands. He melted into the bed as I played with his ass, fingering him, watching his eyes roll back. His mouth formed an O, his leaky dick letting me know just how much he liked what I was doing.

He wasn’t lying about his transformation into a hungry bottom. Sam took one finger, then two of my fingers, like a pro.

But I knew he wanted more. And so did I.

“One second,” I said, slowly pulling out of him. I went over to my bathroom and grabbed a plush navy blue towel. “Here, let’s put this underneath us. Lube stains are a bitch to clean.”

Sam laughed and shifted over so I could place the towel down.

He lay on top of it and looked up at me, his eyes glassy with want and something else.

Trust. That knocked the wind out of me more than anything.

He looked wrecked already, and I hadn’t even…

fuck. This was bad. I was falling… no. I’d fallen for this man.

Years ago, I’d fallen hard for this man, and it was happening all over again.

I grabbed some lube from the nightstand and slicked up my fingers before I leaned down and kissed the inside of his thigh. Soft. Slow. A promise.

“You okay?” I asked, voice low.

He nodded. “Better than okay.”

I kissed a little higher, then higher still. My tongue traced the crease of his leg while my fingers worked into him again, slow and steady. His legs trembled slightly as I pressed in deeper.

“You feel so good,” I whispered. “Like you were made for this.”

His hips rolled up. “Benny, I… Oh fuck.”

I moved up his body, kissing a trail along his stomach, his chest, over his collarbone. I paused to press my lips to the spot just beneath his ear, then across his jaw. He turned into the kiss, our mouths catching—messy, deep, warm. We kissed like we’d been waiting years for this.

Because we had.

“I’ve thought about this so many times,” Sam murmured, thumb stroking the side of my neck. “Thought about you. Wondered what it’d feel like to have you like this. Inside me.”

I smiled against his lips. “Me too. Are you ready for more?”

“Yes, please.” His breathy tone nearly knocked me out.

I leaned over and opened the nightstand again, grabbing the condom. I opened it and rolled it on, then kissed him again. He watched me as I stroked some lube along my length, his eyes lit with a burning red-hot fire. I lined myself up.

“Go slow,” he said, voice shaking just a little.

I nodded, lifted his legs to give me more access.

When I pushed in, we both let out a hissing exhale.

I went slow enough to feel every inch of him take me, his body clenching around me, drawing me deeper.

I had to stop halfway through to breathe.

He felt too good. Too much. I held myself there, allowing him to get accustomed to having me inside him.

The way his body gripped me, welcomed me, it made something in my chest seize. I was buried inside the boy I used to lie awake dreaming about, and somehow it felt both brand new and like coming home all at the same time.

“You’re okay?” I asked again, even though I already knew the answer.

“Yeah,” he breathed. “Hurt a bit at first, but not anymore. I want all of it.”

I pushed the rest of the way in and buried myself there, just holding still, feeling us connect in a way that was so much more than physical. The velvet hot heat that encased me was intense. I wanted to be tangled up in Sam like this for the rest of eternity.

Then I started to thrust, pull back and thrust, pull back and thrust. Rocking into him. Earning full body shudders with every push.

“Oh fuck, Benny. Fuck yeah. Holy fuck.”

“You like how that feels? Having a hard dick in your ass?”

“I fucking love it. Fuck yeah, give it to me.”

We moved like we had all the time in the world, like the stars outside the window were standing still just for us. I rocked into him slowly, leaning down and brushing our foreheads together, murmuring how good he felt, how beautiful he looked like this, spread open and flushed and mine.

He kissed me between gasps, his legs around my waist, his cock throbbing between us. I slid a hand down to stroke him in rhythm with our bodies, slick and firm, timed to every roll of my hips.

Eventually, the pace picked up. His moans turned to desperate little whimpers, and I could feel him getting close.

“Benny,” he gasped, eyes fluttering. “Don’t stop. Please?—”

I didn’t.

We switched once, him on top, riding me with shaky thighs and pink cheeks, his hair falling over his eyes. He looked like every fantasy I ever had.

Then I flipped us again, pushing deep, our mouths barely breaking apart as we built and built and built.

“Oh fuck, Benny, I’m going to come!”

He came first, pulsing between us, biting a knuckle to stop himself from shouting any louder. And the way he looked right then—eyes wide, body trembling—I came too, losing it with a groan into his shoulder as I held him so tight I thought we might fuse together.

“Holy shittttt ,” I said into the dark crevice of his neck.

We stayed like that for a long time, catching our breath, pressed heart-to-heart.

After what felt like a blissful eternity, I pried myself off him and grabbed us a clean pair of hand towels to clean up.

Sam was a giggling mess, his cheeks still flushed when I flopped back onto the bed next to him.

The room glowed in a kind of surreal golden light.

I wasn’t even sure where it was coming from or if I was hallucinating it…

I was most likely hallucinating it. Fucking Sam—making love to him—it had completely rewired my brain.

I felt like a superhero. Like I could fly across the globe, rescuing people from burning buildings and stopping robberies and curing cancer.

I felt like I could see new colors and hear new sounds and smell new scents.

“Goddamn,” I said, still breathless. “Your ass has magical powers.”

“That so?” Sam asked.

“Yeah. I feel like I’m on top of the world right now.”

“Well, you were definitely on top of something.” Sam chuckled at that.

We were laying on our backs, legs crossed over each other, music still playing through my speaker.

I looked over, unable to really process the fact that my childhood best friend and first true love was now resting naked next to me, my dick still chubby from our sex.

“How do you feel?” I asked. As wild and new as this all was for me, it must have been a hundred times more intense for Sam.

“I feel like a big piece of my map was chartered tonight.”

That made me smile wide. “Was it the gay valley that was mapped out? Or maybe the bi ravine?”

Sam took a moment to consider that. I could see the thoughts swirling inside those dreamy hazel eyes of his.

I thought back to my coming out experience, how it was something I always knew about myself.

The trick for me was getting other people to know it, too.

But I could see how that process became infinitely more complicated if I wasn’t entirely sure of my identity to begin with.

I propped myself up on an elbow. “It’s okay if you don’t know yet,” I reassured him. I put a hand on his chest. His heart thumped and pumped.

“I think I do know. I mean, I guess I do know? I don’t know… I really did like being with the girls I dated, and I enjoyed the sex too. I also really fucking enjoyed sex with you. And, if I’m being honest, I’ve been watching more and more gay porn lately. I just really like dick.”

“The good news is that whether you’re bi, gay, or pan, it doesn’t matter, because no matter which one of those you are, you’ll still be inducted into the alphabet mafia .”

“Is that really a thing?”

“It is. We have a secret handshake and everything.” I mimed jerking off an invisible dick and having it spray cum all over my face before wiping off that invisible cum and holding my hand out for a handshake. I lifted my eyebrows and pointedly looked down at my empty hand.

Sam laughed some more and then mimicked my handshake, jerking off an air dick and having it come all over his face. He wiped it off and shook my hand.

“There you go,” I said, laughing along with Sam. “Now you’re an official member.”

“So having you balls deep in my ass wasn’t enough?”

“Nope, you needed the handshake. Congrats.” I rubbed my hand up and down Sam’s chest, feeling the soft hair he kept trimmed.

“Any advice on coming out? Insider tips?”

I huffed out a breath of air. “I wish I had some tips or tricks. Truth is, coming out is different for everyone, every time. And I mean every time. Sometimes people think coming out is one big moment and that’s it, you’re done.

But it’s not. It’s not like a baby shower or a graduation.

People don’t get shirts made or have confetti canons…

although they should. That’d make it a whole lot better.

Coming out is something that happens over and over again.

With the new barber you meet or with a cousin you haven’t seen in years or with a nosy neighbor.

Does it get easier? Yes, it does. It becomes less of a statement, less of a thing.

And as you get more comfortable with your identity, then other people pick up on the subtle clues you start to project and just figure things out themselves.

Maybe you mention a boyfriend or a partner in a passing conversation, or maybe there’s a certain swish of your hip when you move across a room, or a little rainbow pin attached to your book bag.

Coming out doesn’t have to always be a big dramatic thing, but—often times—the first couple coming outs are big dramatic things. ”

“Huh, I hadn’t really thought of it like that.”

“How, um… how are your parents? Do you think they have any idea?” I asked because I could recall how night-and-day different Sam’s parents were compared to mine.

Sam’s parents, while very nice and caring, were much more introverted, rarely ever coming to the ranch even when there was an event going on or a dinner happening.

His dad was a plumber, and his mom was a florist. They were also both extremely religious.

I remember there being framed bible verses all throughout their house when we were younger, although we rarely ever hung out at Sam’s place. We’d always just hang out at the ranch.

“I don’t think they do. I don’t think I’ve given them any reason to think otherwise. My mom’s usually asking about who I’m going to be bringing around next. Telling them is going to be the hardest. I think it’s what’s stopped me.”

“How do you think they’re going to take it?”

“I think my dad will be okay. One of his best friend’s is gay, actually. But he lives in Spain, and they rarely ever see each other, but I know my dad loves him. I think my mom may be more difficult. She’s still heavily involved in the church, and she’s said some questionable things around me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. “If it’s worth anything, I think that, knowing Gina, she’ll totally come around. You’re her only child, and you’re a huge momma’s boy. She’ll understand. But I do get it. Religion does weird things to people. For some, it works as an antidote. And for others it’s a poison.”

“Ain’t that right,” Sam said. “I just don’t want to disappoint either of them, you know? Or have them look at me differently.”

“No matter what, you’re their son, that takes precedence over anything else. Your parents are good people. I think they may be shocked at first, but don’t mistake their processing for anger or hurt.”

Sam nodded at that. He closed his eyes, lips curled into a relaxed smile. “God, life is so weird, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” I said, matching his smile. “Very weird.”

“I’ll see if I talk to them soon. I’m done hiding, I’m done running. I just want to live the way I want to live. Why is that so difficult?”

“It shouldn’t be, and hopefully one day it won’t be difficult at all.”

“Hopefully,” Sam said. He gave a yawn and a long, drawn-out stretch before he curled back in, rolling on his side and pulling me into his arms. I wore the goofiest grin on my face. I was glad he couldn’t see me.

Wow, did this ever make me happy. Made me feel like the embodiment of a bubbly pop song that kept me dancing somewhere high up above the clouds.

I’d wished for this moment since I was a teen, hanging out with Sam and trying my damndest to not let my attraction be known.

And now here we were, cuddling naked together, the night stretching out before us.

We didn’t get much sleep that night, or the next seven that followed, Sam sleeping over every one of those nights.

It wasn’t until a week later that things went to shit. History loves to repeat itself, or whatever the bullshit saying is.