Page 94 of Ruthless Commander

Mateo stood up, popped open the overhead compartments, and pulled out the luggage I’d stowed away. “Meeting Edon’s handler.”

“His handler?” What was he, some kind of greyhound?

I said nothing, just followed him out of the plane. The sun peeked out over the horizon, drawing my focus. Mateo spoke to the pilot, I assumed giving him instructions to where we were finally headed.

“Ready?” My husband called, glancing my way.

He nodded toward a car waiting for us through the open doors of the hangar. I followed him as he carried our bags toward the car, opened the trunk, and stowed them away. I climbed into the passenger seat. Sleep had slowly faded, but now I was fine, until I clasped the seatbelt and felt a pang low in my bladder, reminding me of the one glaring secret I hid from the one person I’d vowed to give my all.

Every inch of my darkness.

Every ray of my light.

Yet, here I was.Thud.The driver’s door closed.

“You okay?”

I gave a nod, then met his gaze. “Do you know where we’re heading?”

He pressed the button to start the engine. “I was able to get an address while you slept.”

“Oh.” I glanced his way, seeing the circles under his eyes once more.

It didn’t look like he had had any rest. Worry deepened the creases in the corners of his eyes. I reached out and rested my hand on his as he headed for the city. It’d been a long time since I’d been to Constance and as I looked out, finding everything new, I grew worried.

What would we find when we tracked Edon down? Would we be walking back into the middle of a gun battle…or worse?I didn’t know. All I knew was that we’d face it together.

That nagging ache in my bladder resurfaced, making me release a low moan.

“What is it?” He urged.

“Need a rest stop when you can.” I winced, pressing my fist into my bladder.

“You should’ve gone on the plane.” He growled.

Tears sprang to my eyes. Christ, that’s all I needed, him angry with me. “Forget about it then.” I tried to snap but my voice was thick and choked.

“Xael.”

I swallowed and swallowed again, trying my best to force down the lump in my throat.

“Xael.”

I jerked my gaze to his. “What?”

He stared at me, concerned. “Talk to me.” He hit the turning signal, aiming the car for an all-night gas station. “Tell me what’s going on.”

I stabbed the seatbelt release as he pulled the car up outside the service center. I climbed out, desperate for a second. I was coming undone here, falling apart right in front of him. I strode toward the restrooms and pushed open the door, going to the nearest stall.

I needed to keep it together. Crying whenever Mateo said something wasn’t going to do that. I shoved my jeans down and sat, closing my eyes as the relief hit me. That ache in the back of my throat resurfaced.

You have to tell him. You get that, right?

“Yeah,” I murmured as I grabbed paper and wiped. “I know.”

I flushed and made my way to the sink, using the time to get myself together. I could blame my emotions on the past resurfacing, but I doubted Mateo would be convinced. My husband knew me. Besides, I was the one who’d fought to be here, wasn’t I? There was no way he’d believe I wasn’t one hundred percent here for this, no matter what war we walked into.

So Ihadto keep it together.