Page 19 of Ruthless Commander

Because it wasn’t reality where I was heading…it was an island. Off the coast of Mauritius, a place where a year ago I'd sworn I’d never go again.

If you'd told me then I’d be coming back, I would’ve probably ripped your tongue out and shoved those words down your throat. I would’ve screamed and beaten you to death with bloody fists. I would’ve emptied my bank account hiring a hitman to cut you up into pieces and bury your body in the four corners of the world.

I would’ve wiped your name from existence.

Still it wouldn’t have been enough.

Not for the agony he'd left behind.

I was ruined.

More than ruined.

I was broken beyond repair, changed right down to my DNA. The stewardess headed toward me, carrying a drinks tray. Had we leveled out already? I drew back into my body, the one walking around without a heart, and took the glass she offered.

“Keep them coming,” I muttered, and lifted the glass to my lips.

If I was doing this torture, if I was putting myself inhisfucking path again…there was no way I was doing it sober.

But sober I was when we landed in the Mauritius private terminal. Sober and awake…and fucking terrified. I’d almost told them to turn around four times during the flight. Instead, I drank vodka, then tried to sleep it off in the bedroom in the rear of the plane…and when that failed, I resigned myself to my fate and drank coffee, staring out the window and watching the night turn to day and then afternoon.

The stewardess had only come near me carrying drinks and a tray laden with seared steak and vegetables. But here she came again, only this time her hands were empty. I reached up, pulled out my earpods, and lifted my gaze to her.

“We’ll be arriving in the next twenty minutes, Ms. Davies.”

I swallowed hard. “Okay.”

“Is there anything else we can do for you?”

Short of therapy and maybe a heart transplant? “No,” I answered, then added, “Thank you.”

She gave me a warm smile and a nod, leaving me to a horror movie of my own making as the plane dipped lower in the sky and headed for land. Not just land…Mauritius.I tried not to remember that blur of time when Mateo Ristani walked out of the bedroom, carrying my fucking heart in his taloned hand.

The man was a monster…

No. Not a monster. I clenched my fists. The Devil. That’s what he was. Only an infernal piece of shit could do what he'd done. Without any explanation, he'd told me it was over, just like that…after giving me a taste of happiness. More than a taste, he'd rammed happiness down my throat along with his cock. Like the greedy little whore I was, I'd swallowed it, hook, line and sinker. Only for him to wrench it out again, tearing me apart from the inside.

Stupid, that’s what I was. Fucking stupid for wanting. For craving.For loving…

Loving him.

A man like Mateo didn’t love. A man like him betrayed, making me think what we had was anything more than a one-time fucking deal. I was stupid for fantasizing about it being more.Stupid. So fucking stupid.

Buildings rose toward me. The city crowded the edge of perfect blue. I hadn’t even seen the water the last time I'd been here. Hadn’t seen anything but the inside of his bedroom…and the tangled mess of sheets. My body reacted instantly with the memory, tightening my core and at the same time, growing warm, humming with the kind of sickness there was no cure for.

Believe me…I'd tried to find one.

I reached my hand down, fingers sliding under the waistband of my pants, and closed my eyes.The Devil.Dark, piercing eyes. A cold, bloodless slash of a mouth, one that glistened as he licked me clean. I bit my lip and sank my fingers under the edge of my panties, not caring that others watched.

Fuck…I needed…I needed to exorcise him from my head.

What do you want from me, Xael?

His words resounded as I skimmed the edge of my clit and lifted my leg.

Ms. Davies.

No…no…not him, not this—I slipped two fingers inside, pumping my hand, my other hand clenched around the cream leather armrest.