Page 88 of Ruthless Commander

Very fucking expensive.

And yet...

“I just want you.” He came closer and wrapped his arms around me. “I want this. I do. I just wish that fucking feeling would go away.”

I bowed my head and slid my hands along his arms. I wanted this too. I just wished I believed him. We hugged, then ate, but I mostly pushed my food around on my plate. Normally, by now I would’ve demolished the steak and salad. But not tonight.

Tonight, I was restless…and a mess. Still, I forced a smile when Mateo lifted his head, chewed, and swallowed, watching me with that careful stare. He missed nothing, this man, not my pretense that everything was fine, or the fact I was feeling queasy.

“Not hungry?” He asked, motioning to my plate.

“I ate earlier.” I lied. “I guess it’s still sitting heavy.”

One slow nod and he finished, wiped the corners of his mouth, and rose, taking my plate as he made his way to the kitchen and cleaned up. I watched him, taking in the precise way he moved.

Everything about him was careful.

But there was a time I’d made the mighty Commander come undone.

My mind slipped into the past.

Yes, there was a time when I’d made this stoic male desperate and demanding. When the man they called ‘Commander’ was a desperate mess. He’d driven me to follow him halfway around the world, only to shatter my heart when he was forced to align with the Commission…

Look how well that’d worked out.

After the night of the attack when we were forced to kill or be killed…he’d forced Dominic Salvatore into a position the head of the five main Mafia families didn’t want to be in. Mateo had given him a choice, let him walk…with me.

But what he hadn’t planned on was the ruthless Salvatore taking his brother Edon as a replacement…and using the hitman for all his dirty work. Mateo still wrestled with that, the guilt weighing him down.

It had been me…

Or his brother.

He rinsed the plates and stacked them into the dishwasher before rinsing the cloth. Fuck, the man was sexy. I rose from my seat and made my way over, rounding the kitchen counter to pull the cloth from his hand. He met my gaze, that crease between his brows furrowing.

I might feel queasy enough not to want to eat, but that lack of hunger made itself known in other ways.

“Xael?” He murmured.

“Mateo.” I answered, tossing the cloth into the sink and pulling him with me toward the bedroom.

He didn’t require much convincing.

That need still burned between us, smoldering and seething, like a battleground of desire. We made our way through the house to the bedroom. The sound of the ocean crashed outside, filling our room with that thunderous, rhythmic sound. I let go of his hand and moved to the buttons of my blouse. But I needn’t have worried.

He strode forward, gently pulling my hands down to replace them with his own. The buttons were released before he pushed my blouse over my shoulders, letting it fall to the floor. Then he grabbed me around my waist, lifting my feet from the floor.

I slid my fingers through his thick, dark hair, finding a few more grays at the edges. It only made him look more handsome…and unfathomable. That’s exactly what Mateo was…the darkest, deepest depths of desire. I held his gaze, then lowered my head and kissed him.

Hard lips gave way under mine.

Movement blurred before he lowered me to the bed.

He broke away, watching me as he slowly unbuttoned my jeans, then moved to my boots and tugged them off.

“You won’t tell me what’s going on with you tonight.”

Bang.