Page 63 of Run For Me (Until You’re Mine Duet #1)

Chapter Sixty-Three

Jaxon

When we pull up in front of Sailor’s house, I’m certain she’s going to tell me to never speak to her again.

I’m not sure what to do to get her to understand.

My head is a fucking mess. I’ve never had feelings like this to work through before.

I’ve never cared about someone enough to make them understand my life and all the fucked-up things that go on in it.

The way she flinched away from me back at the bluffs…

I shut the car off and turn toward her.

“Sailor, look at me, please.”

It takes a moment, but she turns her head.

“I would never hurt you.”

“How do I know that?”

“After everything we’ve done, knowing I could have at any point, don’t you think you can trust me?”

Her eyes well with tears. “I don’t know, Jaxon. Because I don’t know you.”

“You know me,” I say firmly. “Better than anyone else.”

“I know the person you showed me. The man you hid behind a mask. I don’t know you. The man the rest of the world knows.”

“But that’s… I thought that’s what we were doing now?”

She shakes her head, facing away from me and taking a slow breath.

It hits me then—what’s happening. It’s not just a worry anymore. It’s actually happening.

“You’re not…” I stop, unable to say the words.

I’ve been so caught up in her for so long that I didn’t consider it ending. She is mine. I’m hers. We agreed to do this.

“You’re not leaving me,” I say.

She flinches, her eyes closing. “You won’t let me?” she asks so quietly I hardly hear it.

I want to tell her no. I want to grasp her face and scream that I am absolutely not letting her go, ever. That I’d rather die than see her leave me. But I can’t do that because her concerns are valid.

I’ve been worried about my mother for weeks now. I was aware something like this could happen. It’s my fault. I wasn’t careful enough and Sailor paid the price. And now that I’ve saved her, I’m paying the price.

“Let me prove to you that I’m not bad,” I say, my voice cracking. “Let me show you that I’m good.”

She takes a shaky breath as she reaches for the door handle.

“Please, just give me some time, Sailor.” She hesitates before opening the door, and when she does, she does it slowly. Pushing it and getting out cautiously, as if she’s waiting for me to lunge for her and force her to stay.

I want to. I need to. I can’t let her go.

She can’t just walk away from me. From this. From us.

She can’t.

My chest is burning fiercely.

“Sailor, please don’t do this!” I call out after her, my hands gripping the steering wheel. I’m torn between going after her and letting her go.

Forcing her to stay will only make her more scared.

But if I let her go…

If I let her go…

She pauses for a brief moment, and I think she’s changed her mind. I think she’s going to get back in the car with me or invite me inside.

She does neither.

She closes the door and walks to her front door.

I shouldn’t get out of the car. It’ll only make things worse. But I’m moving before I can stop myself.

Thinking of not being near her makes me sick to my stomach. Dizzy.

“Sailor, please,” I beg as I jog toward the steps.

“Jaxon—” she gasps, cowering toward the corner of the small porch. I step back, frowning. Hating myself for this, for what I’ve allowed to happen.

“Little dove,” I say, slowly walking toward her. She flinches when I reach my hand out, brushing my thumb along her cheek. “I don’t want you to be afraid of me. I would never hurt you.”

“Then let me go,” she says brokenly.

“No!” I shout, searching her face. A sob escapes her. “No, I can’t,” I say, this time more calmly, though I’m barely holding it together.

“Jaxon, please, you’re s-scaring me.”

“Sailor,” I say, unsure what else to say or do. I know what she wants me to do, but the thought of it has me weak. Sick. Fucking enraged worse than anything else I’ve experienced in my life. “I will not let you leave me. You can’t. You… you fucking can’t,” I plead, my voice cracking again.

Her body shakes, tears fall from her eyes.

I drop my hands from her face and step back.

She’s not just scared. She’s terrified.

I did this to her. I fucking did this. Me. The monster.

I knew this whole thing would come back and blow up in my face, but I never expected it to happen like this.

“Please,” she says again. “Just… leave me alone.”

I shake my head in complete disbelief. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to handle all these feelings. I don’t know how to deal with this… this pain. This ache.

“Don’t leave me, Sailor. Please. You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had,” I say, my last plea.

But it does nothing.

Her gaze falls from mine, and she pushes her door open, slipping inside her house. The snap of the lock is so loud, like a bullet to my heart. This feels like she’s locking me away instead of locking herself inside the house.

She knows locks won’t keep me out. She knows what I’m capable of. But that’s the problem, isn’t it? I showed her the monster I can be, the monster I am. And now she’s terrified.

I need to show her that I’m not really a monster. I’m just a man obsessed and in love.

Fuck, I’m in love. I’m mad for this girl.

She’s in my blood, under my skin, burned into every goddamn thought I have. I can’t breathe when she’s not near me. I don’t want to breathe without her. I’d burn the world down if it meant keeping her safe—if it meant keeping her as mine.

Maybe I’ve lost my mind completely. But if losing it means keeping her, then that’s fine with me.

As long as she’s looking at me like I’m worth something…

As long as she looks at me the way she looked at me before.

If I could go back… Fuck, I would do anything to rewind the clock just 24-hours and take us back to yesterday. It was so fucking perfect.

Fuck, this sucks.

Even though everything in me is screaming to break the door down and force myself into her life, I won’t. Because that’s what was done to me. Everything in my being screams at me to stay, but I force my feet back to my car.

I know exactly where I need to go, who needs to pay for this. I did everything Sailor wanted. I gave her parts of me no one had ever seen, certainly never had. We aren’t the ones who ruined this. This isn’t even entirely my fault.

Someone else is responsible for this mess. Someone who is going to pay with their life, and not easily.

I left my mother alone after taking her cell phone, but it was never my plan to leave her forever. And now, with my wrath at its highest, it’s the perfect time to pay her another visit and show her the monster she created.