Page 43 of Run For Me (Until You’re Mine Duet #1)

Chapter Forty-Three

Sailor

Everything hurts. My body is sore, bruised, and cut up. But what hurts the most is between my legs. I’m bleeding. Or, well, I was bleeding. I’m not anymore, which is good. If I was, I’d be worried and would go to the doctor. No idea how I would explain that, so it’s a good thing I don’t have to.

I’m not sure what time it is. I woke up and rolled out of bed to pee before I wet myself. That hurt too. It burned, which I’m sure is normal, but I look on the internet just in case.

When I get back to bed, I go right to sleep, not ready to stay up yet. My body went through a lot last night and though I loved it, I need to rest to recover.

No idea how much longer I sleep for, but when I wake up next, my body still hurts, but at least I no longer feel tired.

I reach for my phone but find a folded piece of paper. I have no idea what it is, so I unfold it and am at first confused over what I see.

It’s a letter. I glance down at the bottom to see who it’s from before I read and then smile when I see it signed by JT.

Little dove,

You’re always so beautiful when you sleep.

I needed to make sure you were okay without taking away from the experience. You were sound asleep and safe. Text me when you get this, so I know we’re okay.

You were perfect.

-JT

My heart does this weird little flip thingy, which I’m pretty sure it shouldn’t. I’m getting the warm and fuzzies over a man who completely had his way with me in the woods. I can’t get to my phone fast enough.

Me: Good morning.

After I send the text, I realize it’s afternoon, but that’s okay.

He doesn’t answer within the minute I’m staring at my phone, so I get up to fill the tub.

I showered when I came home last night. There was no way I could go to bed the way I was.

Now, as I go to turn on the taps, I see small leaves and twigs in the tub that must have washed off my body, along with a line of dirt.

So I clean the tub before filling it with hot water.

I need to soak and soothe my aching my muscles.

As I wait, I get undressed and look at myself in the mirror.

I have scrapes and bruises along my stomach, chest, and hands, and also some on my back.

The rest of my body must have been protected by my clothing, but my butt is sore from being spanked.

I don’t think it’s bruised, but there is a red mark.

And of course, the sorest place of all is between my legs, but that’s an ache I don’t hate.

Yes, it sucks because it hurts, but every time I feel it, I remember last night all over again.

Not that it’s something I could ever forget.

The tub is hardly halfway full, so I go back to my room to get my phone. Still no text. Maybe he’s still sleeping. I send him another.

Me: Thank you.

I laugh to myself after I send it because he said last night that I would thank him. And he’s right. I am. Only, I didn’t do it the right way, so I send another.

Me: Sorry. Thank you, SIR.

I don’t think anyone could have made that more perfect.

It was exactly what I’d imagined, exactly what I’d been afraid of liking all this time.

But the way I feel right now? How could I ever be worried about something like that?

Why can’t I enjoy this about myself? If I’m being safe about it and we both consent, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

It isn’t an issue. It’s hard to believe I ran from this part of me for so long, because there’s no way I can go back now.

This is too much fun. I feel too good today.

My phone dings with a text, so I grab it quickly, wanting to talk to JT. Only, it isn’t him.

Sam: Hey. How are you?

Me: I’m good. You?

Sam: Not great.

I sigh, putting my phone down.

I don’t want to deal with him right now.

Maybe that’s mean, but I don’t need his sad mood to sour my good one.

I move my phone onto the small table by the tub so I can reach it if I need, then shut the water and fix my hair into a bun on the top of my head before getting into the tub.

The water is just a little too hot, so I take my time getting in.

I close my eyes and relax, once I’m seated.

Despite being sore, my body is thoroughly worked out, muscles aching, but there’s something else.

A sense of freedom. Like I’m no longer locked in a cage.

It’s crazy that all of this happened over me losing my journal, which at the time was the worst thing to ever happen to me.

Yet, it’s led to this. A freedom I didn’t think I could have otherwise.

Making peace with who I am. Accepting myself.

Losing my journal jumpstarted this journey, and I’m not sorry about it.

But… what does this mean for JT and me? I’m not na?ve to think we’re suddenly going to start dating. JT is not that kind of guy who holds down a girlfriend. I can tell by the way he acts and the way he looks.

My phone pings with another text, but I ignore it. I’m too comfortable to move. Another. I still ignore it, figuring it’s Sam wanting to talk. I’ll deal with him later. Right now, I’m worrying about myself.

I settle deeper into the water. It brushes against my chin, and I sigh, happy and content with life.

Until my phone rings. I open my eyes, staring at it from where I am.

I can’t see the screen, so I don’t know who it is.

But I assume it’s Sam, so I close my eyes and wait for it to stop.

Only it starts up right away and this time I reach for it, annoyed.

Why won’t Sam get the hint? But my frustrations go out the window the second I see JT’s name on the screen.

“Hey,” I say.

“Why didn’t you answer my text?”

“Sorry, I’m in the bath.”

He makes a growling sound. “So you’re naked?”

I smile to myself, getting comfortable again. “Yep.”

“How are you feeling?” he asks more seriously.

“Very sore.”

“I’m not sorry.”

“I don’t want you to be.”

It’s silent for a moment, then he asks, “Are you really okay? I need to be sure.”

“I haven’t been this okay in a long time, JT. Seriously, last night was perfect.”

“Yeah, it was.”

I contemplate my words before saying them.

“So that means we can do it again?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” I laugh, the sound echoing through the bathroom. “Just not right now. You need to heal. I was rough with you. It was your first time. I don’t want to give you permanent damage.”

“How sweet of you.”

“I can be sweet,” he argues.

I roll my eyes, but smile. Then a thought hits me. Something we didn’t discuss, and I hadn’t thought about until now.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything,” he says. “That’s the only way this will work.”

“Are you, like… sleeping with anyone else?”

“No. But why are you asking?”

I run my free hand along the top of the water, watching the ripples. The scent of eucalyptus fills my nose, calming me.

“Just wondering.”

“No, you’re not. You wanted to know for a reason. What reason?”

I mean, the curiosity over knowing if he’s sleeping with someone else for jealousy’s sake is there, but mostly it’s for something else.

“I just need to know if I should get tested...”

“Is that all?”

“Yes,” I say firmly, not willing to share the other thing. He doesn’t need to know that maybe I’m getting some feelings over here. That would ruin this. I know it will. That’s not what this is, and in my head I know that. Even if my body feels another way.

“I am not sleeping with anyone else, though I was prior.”

“Did you use protection?”

“Always,” he answers.

I blow out a sigh of relief.

“But I will get tested anyway. For peace of mind.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you plan on sleeping with anyone else?” he asks.

I frown to myself, thinking back on the words he said to me last night. Did he not mean them?

“No.”

“Good. Because I meant what I said about you being mine. I do not share.”

I smile up at the ceiling. He never fails to amaze me. It’s unreal.

“I don’t want to share either,” I whisper.

“Then we don’t.”

“Is it really that simple?” I ask.

“Of course it is.”

I hum a sound of approval, closing my eyes.

“But let me ask you something now,” he says.

“Okay.”

“What about Sam?”

My eyes shoot open as ice runs through my veins. How does he know about Sam? I think back to our conversations and come up with nothing. I’m not surprised that he knows. He seems to know a lot about me that I didn’t tell him.

“What about him?” I ask, trying to sound nonchalant.

“Is he out of the picture?”

“Mostly…”

“What does that mean?” His tone is stiff, like he’s trying to keep his anger in check. It’s cute.

“It means that we aren’t dating any longer. I broke it off with him weeks ago, but we are still friends. Sort of. We aren’t really close, but we talk.”

“Meaning, you broke up with him and he’s still in love with you and probably up your ass to get back together.”

Wow. He hit the nail right on the head.

“Not quite?”

“Bullshit.” I say nothing to that. “Sailor, if you want to be with Sam, or anyone else, you need to tell me right now. This is getting… to be a lot more than I thought it would be. You’re making me fucking crazy in the best and worst possible way.

I cannot handle you being with anyone else.

If anything changes with you, you have to tell me. ”

“Nothing will change,” I say, shaking my head even though he can’t see me.

“But if it does?”

“Then I’ll tell you.”

“Good. Now enjoy your bath. Get something to eat. I’ll talk to you later.”

We end the call, and I put my phone back on the table. I stay in the tub until the water goes cold. I get out, make myself something to eat, then get comfortable on the couch and do homework.