Page 53 of Run For Me (Until You’re Mine Duet #1)
Chapter Fifty-Three
Sailor
I cannot believe he shoved a pair of underwear inside me!
Of all the things he could have put in there, why those? I could ask, but I’m not sure I’d understand his explanation anyway. So when he comes back into my room, mask still on, I don’t bother.
This whole thing seems a little silly, doesn’t it? Him crawling into bed with me, mask on, so I don’t know what he looks like.
I’ve seen his whole body, and I’ve touched parts of it too. His abs were hot as hell in the picture he sent me, but now I’ve touched them. They’re real, and even hotter in person. I’ve never touched abs before. Never. And his are perfect. Tattooed, firm yet soft.
He settles behind me, pulling me against him. I wish he were naked and would stay here all night with me, but this isn’t that. We aren’t doing that sort of thing. This is just sex. Just fun. Just… a lot of saying and doing things we don’t mean, I guess.
“Can I talk to you about something?” I ask.
“Always,” he answers back quietly, his thumb brushing along my hand.
In this position, with him holding me from behind, he feels bigger. And I feel safe. So safe.
“I’m worried about school.”
“What about it?”
“Mid terms should not have been that stressful,” I say. “I started back at school because it’s what my family wanted, and I’m worried that I’m getting overwhelmed. That I’m… not using my time properly.”
He hums a sound of acknowledgment.
“I’m worried I’m letting this get in the way of my education,” I say, noting it was easier than I thought it would be.
He freezes behind me, and then says, “Are you saying you want to stop this?”
“No,” I say quickly. “I thought that was the answer at first, but I don’t want to. But I… need more boundaries or something.”
“More rules?” he suggests.
“Maybe.”
“Like studying more. Not staying up so late.”
“Yes, like that.”
“Then I hereby declare your bedtime ten o’clock, little dove. I expect you to be in bed by then, or you’ll get a spanking.”
I huff out a laugh. “That isn’t a punishment.”
“Fine. Then you won’t get a spanking.”
I laugh again, shaking my head. We fall into silence, and I wonder if he’s sleeping. I was tired, but suddenly I’m wide awake.
“Do you ever want me to know who you are?” I ask softly.
“Do you want to know?” he responds.
“Some day, yes.”
“Same,” he says.
“What’s stopping you?”
“Are you not having fun?” He nuzzles his nose against the back of my neck, and I notice it’s his skin I’m feeling.
He took off the mask.
All I have to do is turn around, and I’d see him. My heart skips a beat as I consider it. But I’m not ready for this to be over.
“I’m just curious.”
“We’re having fun. Living out fantasies. If it’s working, why ruin it?”
Having fun. Fantasies.
Yeah…
“Should I call you Jaxon now?”
“You can call me whatever you want,” he says sleepily. “Go to sleep. It’s past ten.”
I smile as I pull his arms tighter. I’ve never felt safer in all my life, which seems ridiculous, but there’s a strange kind of comfort in being with someone so dangerous. After all, they’re the only people willing to burn the world down to keep you breathing.
I don’t want this to end.
The words echo in my mind when I wake up, bed empty and cold.
I’m not sure if it was a dream, just my thoughts, or something he whispered to me in the dark.
I have no idea what time Jaxon left, or if the entire night was something I made up. I roll over, burying my face into the other pillow. It smells like him. I smile; he was definitely here.
My schedule is clear for the day, and for a moment, I wonder what it would be like if Jaxon and I were in a real relationship.
If he had stayed and we woke up together.
Had breakfast together. Went on a hike or to the movies.
I laugh when I think of us doing those things with the ski mask on his face. How weird would that be?
I don’t want it to be like that forever, but how do I know this is forever at all?
I don’t want this to end.
Are those his words or mine?
Do I take the risk of asking or just let it go? I don’t want him to think I’m attached, and that this is going in a direction he doesn’t want, but… I am getting attached. Alarmingly so.
I can talk to him about anything, and he helps me fix my problems.
I can trust him, even if I didn’t think I could, I know now that I can. I don’t think he’s lying to me.
What more is there to a relationship? Having fun, of course. Things in common.
We definitely have things in common, but enough to last us a lifetime?
Why am I thinking lifetime? Just last night, I was telling myself I didn’t need to worry about having a boyfriend.
But then he went and fixed the problem, in more ways than one.
I’m assuming he went to talk to that girl, told her to screw off, and then he came here and put my worries about trusting him at ease.
He told me I had a bedtime! He’s trying to take care of me.
But why? What is the long game here?
I stare at my phone that’s plugged in to charge. Then I stare up at the ceiling, memories of last night flooding me. The way Jaxon straddled my legs, looming over me as he jerked off. The way his body felt, the way he looked at me… even though I couldn’t see it, I felt it.
It was intense as hell, and I loved every second of it.
I can imagine how his face feels, the same as his body. I bet he has a sexy defined jaw, a hard but handsome face. He’s hot as hell when he moans, but I bet the expression on his face is even hotter. My gaze kept going to his face, hoping to get a glimpse of his eyes, but it was too dark.
God, I’m aching just thinking about him.
My attention turns back to my phone, and I toss the blankets off me before grabbing it.
I open my camera, and place my hand between my legs, covering myself but making it look like I’m touching myself too. I take a photo and send it to Jaxon, along with the message: If you were here, I wouldn’t have to do this myself.
Maybe the trick here isn’t to outright ask him about a relationship. Maybe the trick is to just do it, say what I think. Push boundaries. See how he reacts. At least this way, it won’t blow up in my face. Though, it still may end in heartbreak. But I think I was destined for that anyway.