Page 53 of Rulebreaker

“Us too,” Aspen says.

“But—” Banks and Royal begin.

I tune them out.

Because I feel Lily shifting beside me again.

And there’s no fucking way.

Nofuckingway I’m going.

“Better you lot than me,” I say over the din. “Because Colt’s funeral is the last one I’m ever going to.”

EIGHTEEN

Lily

I don’t knowhow these people eat so much. If I ate like this regularly, I wouldn’t fit into a single thing I own. And it would be close to impossible to say no because Briar is an amazing cook. Just like she’s a great mom, a great friend, and according to Atlas, an incredible assistant. All while being a single mom.

I can’t help but wonder about Frankie’s father.

What kind of dickhead would leave someone like Briar? And even if he did, how could he leave Frankie?

Atlas was cagey when I asked, saying Briar has never told anyone Frankie’s father’s identity, but he plans to find out someday–one way or another. I don’t know what that means and it’s not my place to question him, but I understand his frustration that the guy just walked away.

Not that it seems to have hurt Frankie in any way. She’s smart, confident, and so incredibly loved–I don’t know a lot of kids who have the kind of support andaffection she has from her extended family. It’s heartwarming to watch everyone with her.

Especially Atlas.

I don’t plan to have kids for a long time, but my ovaries sit up and take notice every time Atlas interacts with Frankie. Because I have no doubt he will be an absolutely amazing father. My own parenting skills are more questionable because how the hell would I even manage a kid with a career as demanding as mine?

Stan and I talked about it early on and decided kids were probably not in my future. Now that I’m older, and a lot more successful, I’m more pragmatic but refuse to rule it out completely. It just makes me nervous. And I can’t even think about that kind of thing for at least another year.

“I’m so freakin’ tired of being pregnant,” Aspen mutters as she comes into the kitchen to throw something away.

“You’ve had a rough time,” Briar says, looking over her shoulder as she loads the dishwasher. “I had a tiny bit of morning sickness in the beginning, but then I was fine until the last couple of weeks when I was just too big to be comfortable.”

“It sounds terrifying,” Jade murmurs, looking decidedly circumspect. “So many changes, both physically and emotionally.”

“I can’t wait to have a baby,” Willow says softly. “I mean, we’re not there yet, and I need to get my career back on track, but when the time is right? I’m all in!”

“What about you, Lily?” Aspen asks me. “Is it hard to think about it because of your career?”

“It is,” I admit. “I think I want a couple, but I’m not sure when or how or…with whom.” I hope they don’t find it insulting that I don't automatically assume this thing with Atlas and me is a done deal.

“You have more to consider than most,” Briar says. “Beingon tours that are planned out years in advance complicates things–if I ever wanted another one, I’d have to think about my career and Atlas’s schedule as well. I couldn’t just randomly go on maternity leave.”

“Are you and West talking about babies already?” Jade asks, arching her brows.

Briar’s cheeks turn pink. “Of course not! But we both want them in theory.”

“So…are you going to tell us how he is in bed or are we going to have to hold you down and force it out of you?” Jade demands, hands on her hips.

“Uh, guys…” Aspen says quietly.

“No, it’s only fair,” Jade continues. “I’ve given you the scoop on Royal and me in the bedroom but all I get in return is seeing Briar blush.” She points at me. “Even Lily has dished on Atlas’s skills.”

“It’s not–I–” Briar begins.