Page 41 of Rulebreaker

Like Atlas.

I want him so badly it’s hard to think of anything else sometimes.

And damn, but he wants me too.

He’s as closed off as I am, and much more tightly wound, but the walls come down when we’re together. Especially when we’re alone. There’s no mistaking the passion, but also the pull. An invisible, magnetic force that propels us into emotions that go much deeper than the physical.

I’m struggling, though.

Every time he tries to get closer, I take a figurative step back.

But it’s becoming more difficult.

He’s been sending flowers to every show. Every single one. Lilies and roses and bouquets of wildflowers that fill my dressing rooms and make me smile. My crew has been teasing me relentlessly, calling Atlas my new boyfriend, and I cringe every time it happens.

I can’t have a boyfriend. I’m still married. I have a million complications in my life, and Atlas would be another one.

The problem? I want him.

As my boyfriend, my lover, a man I can rely on.

Except I can’t.

My phone buzzes and the text from my non-boyfriend makes my heart flutter and butterflies take over my system.

ATLAS: I know you arrived in Vancouver this morning but your show isn’t until tomorrow night. I’ll be at Maison de Marie at 7:00. Don’t be late. Wear that green dress with the gold heels–I promise you’re going to enjoy both dinner AND dessert.

Oh, there’s no doubt about that.

LILY: I’m looking forward to it–but how did you know about my green dress?

ATLAS: I pay attention.

Social media.

I’ve worn that dress a couple of times when I’ve been out with friends, and I like the fact that he saw it and decided he wanted me to wear it for him. Personally, I would have gone shopping for something new, but if the green dress is what’s turning him on, I’m in.

LILY: Any other instructions?

ATLAS: No panties unless you want to add to my collection.

LILY: You have a collection?

ATLAS: I’ve started one. I only have one so far but I’m happy to keep as many as you deem necessary.

Why does the idea of him having a collection of my panties turn me on?

I’m falling.

The idea whips through my mind like a bolt of lightning, leaving me breathless. Surprised.Scared.

I can’t.

Not now.

It’s too soon. But it’s also too late. The feelings already exist. It’s not overt, but all the little things are starting to add up.

The way my body hums whenever he’s close.