Page 103 of Rulebreaker

And Banks and Aspen.

And Dash’s injury.

And then…West with his sweet persistence, his patience, the first blip of attraction I’ve had to a man since–

I blink, shake myself.

Since Frankie’s father.

And my entire family found love, found their people–even Atlas, who was the most closed-off to love of all of us.

So there was no reason to keep West out.

Then once the door was cracked open, he slid right in behind my defenses.

It’s been a whirlwind where I’ve barely been able to think straight, so right at times that I’m certain I’ll be walking down the aisle and so wrong that I wonder if I should just end things right now and leave him to find a woman who isn’t as fuckedup as I am.

Except…he keeps coming back, no matter how hard I push him away.

Patient and sweet and thoughtful.

And he’s a good kisser.

And…the fantasy I had as a twenty-one year old girl isn’t reality.

West is great, so fucking great that I know I should be thanking the universe that he’s in my orbit.

It’s just…

I can’t go back and even though the only man I’ve ever loved is dead and gone, I know that if I want to find happiness and companionship and love like my family has, that I have to allow myself to feel this.

To let go of the dream.

To accept that there may never be another man like Frankie’s father–

“Nice shot,” West murmurs and warmth slides me at the touch, at his smile.

“Four brothers means I know how to throw a punch,” I say lightly.

He laughs again, draws me closer to his side and I know.

Even though the thoughts are churning through me, heavy and swirling and threatening to drag me down, Iknow. Because it’s Colt’s birthday. Because we’re celebrating–sans strippers, as used to be the guys’ typical modus operendi–but with good food and family and plenty of Gamebreakers, the drink that Colt himself came up with.

Because Ifinallymake a decision.

I’m done with the past, done with holding on to something that can never be, done with being alone and single and living for work and Frankie.

I love both, so freaking much.

But I know I deserve to have more, to have what Banks andAspen, Royal and Jade, Will and Dash, and Atlas and Lily have.

I deserve to be loved as much as I love everyone around me.

So, as I sip my Gamebreaker and lean into West’s side, listening to the guys talk about Colt’s shenanigans that seem to grow grander and bigger and more outrageous each and every year, I say goodbye.

To the past.

To the dreams of a little girl.