Page 23

Sherrod

I woke with a start in a bed that wasn’t mine with a body next to me and no memory of my dreams, good or bad. It was disorienting and for a second I worried I’d been drugged. It wouldn’t be the first time.

But then the fog of sleep started to lift and I realized I was on my ship, on the fold out bed with…

Zephyr.

I had pants on, and she had at least a tank top on so I doubted anything had happened.

I hope if I ever do fuck her, I’ll be able to remember it the next morning.

The unfiltered truth blasted through my head and I fell back on my pillow as I realized just how screwed I was.

I had never stopped wanting her but I had thought that was just unfinished fantasies. But no, it wasn’t. It was because she was still the woman I wanted more than any other. And I would, for the rest of my life even if she wanted to just be friends.

The word was still sour in my mind. I’d been angry when she’d suggested it last night.

How the fuck can we be ‘friends’ with all that history between us?

But then I had to ask myself what I preferred, friends with her in my life, or nothing without her?

The choice was clear and I’d known then that I was absolutely fucking doomed.

I would take whatever scraps she gave me and be thankful.

Unsatisfied, and starving for her, but thankful.

I looked over at her, curled on her side, hands under her chin and mouth bowed. A small puddle of drool was on the pillow, her hair wrap half undone and I could swear that the sound I just heard wasn’t a snore but a very protracted fart.

And I’d never, ever seen anything so fucking adorable in my entire life. It only made me want her more, to keep her safe whether she ‘needed’ it or not, to be by her side just to hear her voice, and back up whatever she did for the rest of her life.

Last night’s game of twenty questions was just as wonderfully annoying as it had been when we were teens.

She was far too good at winning just by reading the sound of my voice.

I prided myself on reading faces, especially at this stage of my life, but she’d still managed to remain enigmatic when she wanted to.

Spying the empty bottle of bourbon on the table, I was grateful for the alcohol filtration system I had installed a while back.

I could get drunk if I wanted to or have it filtered out quick enough not to have a hang over the next day.

If I didn’t have that I’d be nursing one hell of a headache this morning.

Shit, I wonder if Zephyr has something like that? I should get her some meds and water.

I didn’t want to leave her but I also knew when she woke she’d want to start prepping for the mission. Doing that with a headache would be awful. So I climbed out carefully, worried that I’d wake her, especially when I tripped on the sheet wrapped around my ankle. But Zephyr didn’t so much as stir.

It wasn’t until I got to the meds cabinet in my room that I realized I’d slept soundly without my sound machines or any of the other aids I’ve come to rely on. Not only that, but I’d had a dreamless night.

“Huh…”

I didn’t let myself think too hard about what that might mean. If I became too attached to Zephyr and she wanted to go her own way after this, it would be devastating. I had to try and not expect anything, not want anything as much as possible.

Even if it might be too late, I still have to try. For both our sake.

I got the pain meds and some plain crackers on a plate, then a glass of cold water.

With care, I placed them on the small table next to the fold out bed before getting dressed and prepping the nutrient synthesizers, or NutriSynth for short.

Breakfast was just about the only meal I used the meal preparation machine for and I hadn’t really explored much of it’s menu.

I also had no idea what Zephyr ate now, but when we’d known each other before, she used say she’d kill someone for a good, sugary donut.

The commander had her on a strict diet and she’d hated it.

Now, I wondered if she still had that huge sweet tooth or if the bastard had managed to kill that part of her like he’d tried to do with so many other parts.

A memory of her crying, one of hundreds, lanced through my mind, crystal clear like it happened yesterday.

The commander had made her run until she’d puked, then do strength drills so much that her muscles failed. He’d railed at her, telling her that she was too weak, too soft, that she’d never make it if she gave up so easily.

She’d been exhausted, hurting all over, and sure that the commander was right about her not making it.

At fourteen, I had no idea how to help her, but I had somehow made her laugh about Litman’s latest fuck up and everything was right in the world.

Later, she told me that without that, she would’ve marched into his office and quit.

I didn’t tell her what quitting meant; instead I told her she had way more strength than she knew, which was true.

What I’d thought had been a pampered, soft diplomat’s daughter, getting all the attention from the man I’d worshiped, had turned out to be the strongest person I’d ever met.

A sound that was definitely a snore this time, snapped me out of my reverie and I ran a hand over my face.

All this shit that I’d submerged under booze, risks and meaningless sexual encounters was rising to the surface like dead bodies in a lake.

I would have to be careful to not let myself get overcome by all of it.

One thing I did agree with Zephyr about last night was that we had a job to do, and we both needed to be focused on that, not the past.

Especially if I’m going to protect her.

I scanned the possible pastries the NutriSynth machine listed and found a cake donut with glaze.

I’d never tried it from the machine before and hoped it was good.

After programming that, I chose the eggs and toast, as usual.

The NutriSynth whirred to life, and I worried it would wake her.

But when I looked over she was still asleep.

She’s fucking dead to the world. Oh my god…that’s the first time we slept in the same bed, the first time I got to wake up to her.

Warmth spread through my chest and I wanted to climb back under the covers, stretch this moment out, but there was work to do, cover stories to prep. Zephyr wouldn’t appreciate it if I fucked around and we weren’t prepared when we arrived at Quarn station.

The food would take a few minutes to make so I decided to check my messages.

There were several from Zelena with all the info for our docking, cover story and room.

When I looked over the lay out of the station I realized that Zephyr, myself and Zelena been given VIP treatment with one of the largest suites in the place and a complimentary food allowance.

Zelena was covering all the particulars like the entry fee and the costuming for Zephyr.

Shit, I’d forgotten about that. Zelena’s guards wear next to nothing. She’s not going to like that.

The schedule said that the free-for-all qualifying match was the night we arrived and I checked the time. We were arriving in an hour, there wasn’t time to let Zephyr wake up on her own, we had to prep before docking at the station.

The machine making our breakfast beeped in the common room, indicating it was finished. I took a moment to put some cream into my coffee, intending to wake her up when a muffled voice pulled at my heart.

“Is that…donuts?” Zephyr mumbled from the bed.

I turned to her with a smirk.

“All the noise I made doesn’t make a dent, but the smell of cheap pastries wakes you up?”

She shrugged as her arms were stretched over head.

“Where did you get donuts anyway?” she asked around a yawn.

“The NutriSynth can make them, I’ve never tried it before so it might be really bad.”

“My head feels like monkeys are having a party in it.”

She unwound her hair and gingerly stroked her fingers through the strands.

“Some pain meds and water on the table,” I said.

She carefully turned and snatched the meds and water, draining the glass. The NutriSynth opened to reveal two donuts and my plate of eggs and toast. I set them on the small table by the pullout bed and turned to get silverware when Zephyr snatched my cup of coffee from the table and took a sip.

“Ugh, just cream?” She stuck her tongue out like she’d just drank liquid poop. “Do you have sugar?”

“Sure,” I plopped the container down on the table and tried to snag my cup back.

Zephyr drew it away, cradling it like a precious object.

“Get your own.”

“I did,” I muttered as I programmed another cup of coffee.

Zephyr dumped two spoonfuls of sugar into the coffee, leaned against the back of the pullout and sighed as she sipped.

“You might want to hurry with that,” I said.

She wagged a finger at me, eyes still closed.

“This first cup of coffee is sacred, I don’t rush it.”

“We’ll be at the station in a little less than an hour.”

“Son of a bitch...fine, what’s the briefing?”

I chuckled as I laid out the particulars to her.

“Zelena has gotten us in to the free-for-all tonight. Most of the women here have fought tooth and nail to get in, they won’t appreciate you swooping in like this, so they’ll be extra brutal.”

“Great,” she said with a sigh. “How did Zelena manage this, anyway?”

“She said you were one of her elite guards.”

Zephyr waited.

“And? That’s it?” she asked. “Just drop that little tidbit and I’m in?”

“Her guards are renowned across this quadrant, and beyond, for being the best of the best. They’ve never been beat, they’re mysterious and brutal. People have been after Zelena to put them in the fights for years now. So—”

“It’s a big draw,” she finished. “Got it. What do I need to know about being one of these amazing guards?”

I sat at the table with new cup of coffee and started to eat just as Zephyr grabbed one of the donuts and shoved half of it into her mouth with a moan.