Page 21 of Rock Bottom Girl

“I don’t know why I thought I could do this,” Marley muttered to herself.

“Because you can. If you get your head out of your ass and start thinking about the good of the team.”

“Please tell me teaching is easier than coaching.”

I laughed. “Ain’t nothing easy about either one. They’re just hard in different ways.”

“I can’t even make easy work.”

She had a worry line between her dark eyebrows. There was a tiny freckle next to it.

“Maybe if you spent less time throwing yourself that pity party, you’d be able to figure some shit out.”

“Is that Marley Cicero?” Mariah popped her fuzzy head out of the shed window.

“Oh my God. Mariah?” Marley asked, her face lighting up. She slid off the bench and made her way over to the shed.

I watched them share a hug and wondered just what the hell had happened to the Marley I kissed a thousand years ago.

10

Marley

Ifelt less wobbly and more embarrassed on the short trip back to the school parking lot. Jake walked next to me, making small talk with the students who all thanked him effusively for the treat. No one thanked me for almost killing them under the scorching summer sun.

What had I been thinking?

“You always disappear in your head like that?” Jake asked.

I blinked, realizing we were standing next to my car, my team dissipating into waiting vehicles. I hadn’t even asked them if they were coming back for the second practice. I wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t.

“Hey. Yo, Coach,” Jake waved a hand in front of my face. “You want me to run you by urgent care?”

My stomach rolled at the word “run.”

I shook my head. “No, thanks.” My feet felt like they were rooted to the spot.

“Do better, okay?” he said, frowning down at me.

The frustration bubbled up without warning. “How? How do I do better? I have no idea what I’m doing!”

“You don’t have to know what you’re doing. You just have to act like it,” Jake shot back, looking amused. “You’re holding the wildcard. You’re the adult. You can bench them or send them to the principal’s office. That’s all the authority you need. Now you gotta figure out how to communicate with them.”

“How did you figure it out?”

“I failed a whole lot and felt like crap. Then I did better. You can do better too, hot mess.”

“That is not a nickname I’m going to accept.” Even if it were true. Dammit, I had potential!

“Tough shit, Mars.” He reached out and booped me on my nose. My jaw dropped. I’d been fireman carried and booped by this man, and hestillwasn’t wearing a damn shirt.

What a weird ass day.

“See you around. Stay hydrated,” he called over his shoulder as he headed toward his SUV. I blinked and stared after him.

“I’m the adult,” I repeated to myself.

Technically, yes. I was an adult. Had been for many years. But I never felt like I’d actually achieved adulthood. Sure, I carried stamps in my purse. And I could cook food that didn’t come from boxes. And I understood the importance of eight hours of sleep. But did that make me an adult? I didn’t sit up straight in chairs. I still rocked out with the windows down to songs that reminded me of the community pool in the summer.