Page 155 of Rock Bottom Girl

At that moment, one of the drummers tapped off a jazzy three-count.

Just as the music started, Gwen and her color guard compatriot unfurled the long paper banner.

It was supposed to say, “Culpepper 1998 Homecoming.”

Instead, it read, “Amie Jo hates Jesus.”

I was going for the jugular. People in central Pennsylvania were not allowed to hate Jesus. It just wasn’t done. Amie Jo’s gynecologist father was a church deacon in the Culpepper Emmanuel Lutheran Church.

The crowd went from cheering to gasping in horror as the band innocently advanced onto the field. They made it all the way to center field, giving everyone a good, long look at the message, before a vice principal jogged out and physically ran through the banner, tearing it in half.

“Was that you?” Vicky asked out of the corner of her mouth.

“Oh, yeah,” I smirked.

“Genius,” she said proudly.

I turned the camera to its video setting and waited for Part B to commence.

“Well, that was an interesting start,” the announcer in the booth chuckled nervously. “Let’s get on with the good old-fashioned Homecoming fun. It’s my great pleasure to introduce you to Culpepper Junior/Senior High’s 1998 Homecoming Court.”

I pressed record.

I could hear the click and whirr of the tape the announcer slipped into the stereo and smiled. I hoped my timing was close.

Stately, classical music crackled over the loudspeakers, and the announcer introduced the first couple. A blonde in a tweed blazer and pencil skirt and a tall, gangly guy in a suit. The next couple sauntered out after them. Another blonde. Another blazer. This one’s escort was a soccer player still in his uniform.

I held my breath.

“Our next court couple is Amie Jo Armburger and Travis Hostetter.”

Travis? What the hell?

Was she really that greedy that she had Travis for her escort and Jake for her Homecoming date?

Amie Jo’s smile looked tense and faker than usual. Someone must have told her about the banner. Good.

As she waved at the very quiet crowd, the music stopped and was replaced with voices.

“I’m not pregnant, and you know it.”

“But it’s what everyone else believes that counts,” she reminded me brightly. “As far as Culpepper is concerned, you’re a pregnant whore.”

A gasp stirred up in the crowd.

“Oh my God. You didn’t!” Vicky squealed.

“Oh, I did.”

The tape continued. “You’re nothing. You’ll never be anything. Just like the rest of these pathetic losers in this school.”

Someone in the crowd started to boo, but it wasn’t loud enough to drown out the earful of the real Amie Jo from the loudspeaker.

“Of course I cheated on Ricky with Phil,” tape Amie Jo confessed. She’d forgotten that the losers of Culpepper had ears, too. In less than a week, I’d been able to collect forty minutes of voice recordings of her being an ass. I had a hard time paring it down to just the highlights. Thankfully the AV club had been helpful with the editing.

“Ugh. I don’t know why Becky thinks she’s so pretty and popular. If it weren’t for me befriending her, she’d still be the fat, ugly loser she always was.”

One of the blonde girls on the court turned scarlet. Amie Jo shook her head vehemently. “I never said that,” she lied.