Page 31 of Right Where You Left Me

“Of course.” She gives me a sad smile. “We don’t have to talk about it at all if you don’t want to.”

“I do.” I say quickly, and I mean it. I want to talk to her about what happened.

I need to. My sister has been my number one fan my whole life.

She’s always supported me, no matter how crazy my ideas were.

When I wanted to move to Chicago, she started looking for apartments right away— researching the safest areas and the best places for takeout.

When my parents went on their homophobic rampage and kicked me out, she took me in and disowned them.

She’s the person I have always looked up to, and even when we butt heads she’s my rock.

She’s the person I know I can be my most vile self around, and she will still love me the most. My eyes burn as I look at her, her face so similar to mine, just lined more with life and laughter. “After dinner.” I say softly.

We all tuck into the delicious meal Hank made us, each of us taking turns talking about what our favorite part of our days were— a family tradition that is my favorite part of dinner at Piper’s.

The kids make a mess that is equal parts endearing and frustrating, Piper and Hank talk about their plans for the week, and I nod along and answer questions when asked.

I want to be fully present here with them all, but I feel like I’m being shoved under water and the only person who can pull me out is the one person I can’t talk to right now. I fucking hate this.

“Alright, up.” Piper says, pulling my chair out from the table. “Hank said he’d do the dishes so we can chat.”

“Oh, but that usually my job—” I start, but she shakes her head, grabbing my hand and pulling me up. “He’s fine in there and he knows that you need to talk about it.”

She wraps her arm around my shoulders and leads me into their den, plopping us down on the couch and swishing one of her cozy blankets on top of us.

I lean into her and let out a shuddering breath.

The tears I’ve been letting fester inside of me finally rolling down my cheeks and my sister runs a soothing hand through my hair.

“What happened, love?” She whispers against the top of my head.

“I really fucked up, Pipes.” I choke out around a sob. “I really, really fucked up.”

“Hm.” She hums. “Is it something you can fix?”

“I don’t know.” I sniffle and Piper huffs before grabbing me a tissue from the end table next to the couch. “I—” I try to take a deep breath and start again. “Emma and I broke up. I broke up with her.”

“Oh, Sage.” She says and hugs me tighter against her.

I don’t even try to stifle my sobs now. I let them wrack my body, letting all the guilt and shame that has been eating at me all night last night and all day today ravage my body.

Piper holds me through it all, letting out soothing noises as she strokes my hair some more.

“I know it seems like the end of the world right now,” she starts, “But things will always get better.”

“I don’t know if this will.” I manage to say.

“I wasn’t… very nice.” I wince. That’s understating things.

I was fucking horrible to her yesterday.

I said some of the cruelest things I could, and she didn’t deserve any of it.

I was lashing out just like River said, taking out all my insecurities and bullshit on the one person I never wanted to hurt.

I wouldn’t blame her if she didn’t forgive me for it.

She lets out a thoughtful noise. “Can’t say I’m shocked to hear you weren’t being nice.” I let out an affronted grunt and she laughs lightly. “Emma will forgive you, love. You just have to apologize. I’m sure whatever it was can be fixed.”

“We’ll see.” I say, voice small as I snuggle in closer to my sister.

We sit there, tangled together in comfortable silence, until Hank joins us. He has a mug in each hand and I can smell the sweet scent of chocolate as he gets closer.

“Thought you could use one.” He says with a soft smile as he hands the mugs to us.

“Thanks.” I say taking a deep sip. “Hot chocolate does always help.”

I watch as he mouths ‘ what happened?’ to Piper and she mouths ‘ I’ll tell you later’ back to him.

I love them so much. Hank and Piper have been together for so long now that it’s hard to remember a time that he wasn’t around.

I know he loves me like I’m his own sister and I’m really grateful my sister has someone as steady and loving as he is.

Together they’re a solid unit, my foundation honestly. I’d be lost without them.

“I should probably head home.” I say, once my mug is empty.

“You sure?” Piper asks with a furrowed brow. “You can sleep in the guest room if you want.”

“No, I’m okay. River will be wondering where I am anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow at the cafe though.”

I hug them each extra tight before I head out, driving as quickly as I can while still being safe to get myself home.

River is sprawled out on the couch when I get in, watching some reality TV show that he loves.

I trudge over and plop down on top of him.

“Have a good night?” I ask as he shifts so we both are more comfortable.

“Not bad. You doing okay?”

I shake my head, focusing on the TV and not on my best friend’s knowing gaze. “Nope. But, I think I will be. I just need to figure out how to fix this shitty situation I created.”

He hums. “Yes, but you will. That tiny baker is head over heels for you, Sagey. You’ll win her back, I know it.”

“I hope so.” I whisper. “I can’t lose her, Riv. Not again.”

“I know.” He murmurs. “But, you won’t.”

I look off to the side and notice the clock on our wall says 11:11. I squeeze my eyes closed and wish for it. I wish for it with everything I have because I need her.