Page 14 of Right Where You Left Me

“You know, I am Team Sage. Always. I have your back no matter what and if the little baker makes you upset I’ll—” He scrunches his nose as he thinks. “I’ll ask her to leave. Won’t even say please about it.”

I snort. “Real scary there, Riv.”

“I’m terrifying!” He says with a deep belly laugh that shakes me along with him.

We’re giggling like children, tears in our eyes, when the bell above our shop door chimes. I turn my head toward the noise and meet Emma’s stare. A hesitant smile on her face.

“Hey.” She says softly. “Still okay that I’m here to talk?”

I stare at her for a beat longer and nod my head.

It’s odd, seeing someone so soft and gentle in here.

Not that that means anything about who can get a tattoo; It’s just, Emma’s gentleness that feels uncentering in here.

It’s doing things to me. My stomach swoops and I swear I’m getting a stomach bug, because there is no fucking way that Emma Newton is giving me butterflies right now.

Emma’s eyes are glued to my tattoo chair as she slowly makes her way over to my station.

Her lower lip caught in her teeth, and it’s taking all my control to not run my thumb along the abused skin there.

What would that lip taste like on my tongue?

What sounds would she make if I coaxed hers out to play?

Stop. I cannot think about that kind of shit where she is concerned. For fucks sake, she’s straight.

“Thinking about getting a tattoo?” I ask lightly, trying to ease some of this anxiety swirling around all of us. Because who doesn’t love small talk when you’re already feeling on edge.

“What?” She turns her attention to where River and I are standing. “Oh, no.” She says with a nervous chuckle. “I don’t actually have any.”

“I could’ve guessed that.”

She frowns at that. “I mean, I’ve thought about getting one. I’m not that vanilla. I just never got around to actually getting it done.”

“What have you thought about getting?” River asks.

“Don’t laugh.” She says, pointing at me and I scoff.

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Oh my God, Emma. Just fucking tell us. You’re killing us here with the anticipation of it all.”

“I wanted to get a little croissant right here.” She says, pointing at the side of her wrist.

I blink at her slowly, my lips twitching, and she huffs out an annoyed breath.

“I said not to laugh.” She pouts, her cheeks scorching. I don’t even fight the grin on my face at that.

“I’m not! That weirdly is very fitting for you.” I say softly. A pastry. Dainty and cute, and so perfectly her.

Her eyes brighten at my words and I give her a small smile in return. This doesn’t feel too bad I guess. Being nice to her. Maybe… we can end up friendly after all.

“Okay, well. We should discuss what you came here to talk to me about.” I say, clearing the weird knot in my throat. Maybe I am getting sick. All this emotion can’t be good for me.

“Right.” She says, her eyes pinging over to where River seems to be making himself comfortable at his tattoo station. He’s lounging on his client chair, arms behind his head, smiling at the two of us.

I make a face at him and he just grins back. The nosy motherfucker. “River.” I snap.

“Yes, Sagey?”

“Can you kindly, fuck off?” I say and bat my eyes at him. “This is a private conversation.”

“That you’re having in the studio.”

“River!”

“Fine, fine.” He grumbles and takes his sweet ass time walking into the back room.

“Sorry about him.” I say, running a hand through my hair. “He’s nosy as fuck, but he’s harmless. If he hears anything back there he’ll keep it to himself. I promise.”

“I— I know. He didn’t have to leave.” Emma says, looking down at her feet. “I know this is his space too.”

“But you would’ve been uncomfortable, and although I don’t like you, I’m not that big of a bitch.” I say and shrug.

“Thanks, Sage.” She says softly.

We stand there in awkward silence, her lip back in between her teeth as her eyes stay glued to the floor. I sigh. “Emma. What is it you want to say?”

I watch as she steels her spine, tilting her chin up. “Well, to start, I want to apologize. Clearly what happened in the past hurt you a lot more than I realized. And, I want us to be able to put that behind us and move forward.”

“You did hurt me, Emma. Do you not remember what you did?”

“I mean, of course I remember, Sage. But, what I don’t understand is why you’re letting something small, that happened such a long time ago, remain a problem. I just want us to be friends again. I want to be able to put it behind us.”

“Something small.” I say flatly.

“Yes!” She says, her arms raising in exasperation. “Sage it was over a decade ago!”

“Emma.” I say, pained. How can she think that what happened was anything small? “I?—”

“What? What has you so hung up on what happened?” She asks, pleading. “I know that I fucked up and made a mistake, but we were basically kids still. We were barely legally able to drink!”

What happened? Does she really not think what she did was awful? That she hurt me so much, so deeply ? She was my best friend and she just fucking ditched me without a word. Literally zero explanation, just poof . Gone. She was my first real heartbreak, how can she not get that?

“I was fucking in love with you!” I find myself shouting, and flinch as soon as the words are out. I didn’t mean to tell her that, but, I guess we’re going all out now. Laying it all out there and hoping I survive the fallout again.

“Wait, no you weren’t?—”

“I loved you, and I kissed you because I wanted to. Not because we had been drinking, not because I thought it would be funny. I kissed you because I had been dying to for so long, and I was finally brave enough to do it.”

She sucks in a breath, but I keep going before she can get another word out. Now that I started the words tumble out easily, like lancing a festering wound.

“And then you bailed. You told me to forget that it happened and you just, you walked away from me and I thought that things couldn’t feel worse than they did in that moment. I felt rejected and alone and everything was falling apart while I watched you close your door without even looking back.

“I knew that you were feeling a lot of things and I figured I would give you some space to calm down and we’d move on, but then you stopped responding to my texts and my calls.

You wouldn’t answer your door when I came to check on you.

You completely shut me out of your life, Emma.

” My eyes burn, but I don’t let myself cry.

I spilled too many tears over this woman already.

“I thought, ‘It’ll be okay. Emma’s my best friend.

She’s freaked out, but once she’s processed we’ll be fine.

Everything would always be fine, because no matter what it was always the two of us. Nothing could ever rip us apart…’

“And I stayed there Emma. I stayed right where you left me. I couldn’t fucking leave.

I loved you and I was stuck in that goddamn moment.

Hoping that you’d come back and talk to me, but you never did.

You left me there. So yeah, it’s been a long fucking time since that kiss, but it mattered to me.

You ripped my goddamn heart out, Emma. And you never even looked back. ”

“Sage.” She breathes out. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…”

“Even if you didn’t, you still cut me out without an explanation.” I wrap my arms around my middle, as if that can prevent me from falling apart over this mess all over again. I feel fragile, brittle. I never wanted to dig this shit up again, but Emma looks so distraught over it.

“I just— Sage you kissed me and I panicked because it felt good and I didn’t know what to do with that because I only liked boys and?—”

“Yes, yes. I know, Emma. Part of that was on me for falling in love with a straight girl, that’s not what I’m still upset about. But I think you’re right. Now that I’ve laid it all out for you and you’ve apologized— sincerely apologized— I think we can move on. I won’t be a cunt anymore.”

Emma laughs wetly, her smile making her eyes shine. It’s endearing. Her soft face showing all the emotion she’s feeling. “About that.”

“What?” I ask, grinning back. “Don’t think I can stop being a cunt?”

“No.” She laughs again. “It’s not that. I’m not straight.”

Wait. What?!

“You’re not?” I manage to squeak out. I’m never going to hear the end of this from Peyton for being right.

“No.” She shakes her head. “That’s why I got divorced and moved back here. I’m a lesbian.”

Oh. My. God. My skin feels like it’s on fire and my stomach swoops again. She’s queer? Emma, the girl that broke my heart and who I’ve tried so fucking hard to get over actually likes women? I finally have a chance?

Fuck. No . Just because she’s a lesbian doesn’t mean that I can trust her now. She still broke my heart and left me behind and although I can put it behind me and be friendly with her again, I don’t know if I can trust her with my heart. It wouldn’t survive being hurt again, not by her.

No. Friends . Friends is good.

She’s looking at me, worrying her lip between her teeth again. I really want to soothe that poor, sore spot. “Wow, Em. I’m proud of you. It takes a lot of courage to come out, to uproot your life like that. I’m happy you figured out who you are. And, I’m happy that you’re back here to do it.”

She smiles softly. “Thanks, Sage. So, we’re friends again? No more hostility?”

“Yeah, Em. We’re friends.”

Her arms reach out as if she’s going to pull me into a hug, but River’s obnoxious ass voice rings out from the back, “You two are just so fucking sweet!” and ruins the moment.

Emma chuckles and her cheeks turn bright pink. I just smile at her, and deny that the butterflies flying around my chest are from the gorgeous girl smiling back.