Page 57 of Reverse Pass

“Ben had absolutely nothing to do with you. Not even a little bit. And the fact that you’d think I’d spend my time scheming like that and use my best friend’s little brother to try to get your attention is insulting, frankly.”

I go silent again as the waiter brings the wine and our glasses, opening it and pouring it for us and another server arrives with the appetizer he ordered. One that looks amazingly delicious and makes me sad I won’t be trying it.

Cameron takes a sip of the wine and stares off into the distance as we sit at the table.

“Why fuck him then?” he finally asks, in such a quiet lethal voice it almost doesn’t sound like Cameron.

“For the same reason most people fuck, Cam. Because I wanted to. You should understand. Isn’t that what you’ve been doing these past few months? Fucking who you want, when you want? Was it to try to torture me or because you felt like it?”

“Both. You were so indifferent. I thought it was because you wanted to get engaged and you were mad it took so long, but even after I gave you that, you just seemed bored.”

“I wasn’t bored. I was busy and tired. I have an insane schedule and have for a while. You remember what grad school was like? Trying to balance school and work and the myriad of projects that pop up while you barely get any sleep.”

“And yet, when I leave you suddenly have time to fuck athletes.”

“You are seriously fixated on this. Did you think I was just going to sit at home and hope you were going to come back and pick me again? You even told me to go see other people, do the same thing as you.”

“I meant fuck that one professor who’s always eyeing you or fuck some random guy you meet at a bar when you’re drunk. Not go after a D1 athlete that’s probably fucked half the school.”

“Are you jealous of him?”

Cameron gives a wry little laugh as if I’m being ridiculous.

“Please, Violet. I can’t imagine he’s very good in bed. What effort does he really have to put in to all those drunken hookups with women who just want to fuck him for the bragging rights.”

“Is that what you think? That I fucked him for the bragging rights?” I feel like I’m going to be sick from the anger that’s boiling inside.

“Why else? You’re not the kind that trips over herself for abs.”

“But you think I trip over myself for that?”

“I think you knew it would get attention.”

“No one even knows about us.”

“You knew I would find out.”

“I’ve already told you this isn’t about you.”

“Then why?”

“I told you. Because I wanted to. And if you really need to know, he’s fucking phenomenal. Like fifteen out of ten, would ride the ride any time I have the chance.”

His eyes flick to mine, hurt and anger simmering beneath the surface.

“That’s beneath you, Violet.”

“You wanted to know, so I’m telling you the truth. I’m sorry if you don’t want to hear it.”

The waiter returns again to take our order, but he looks hesitant to even say anything and I’m sure it’s because we’ve been very clearly arguing. It’s embarrassing to be at a restaurant like this and be visibly sparring with each other, and I think it’s time for me to leave.

“Nothing for me, thank you.” I shake my head.

“She’ll take the ravioli and a Caesar salad. I’ll have the braised lamb.” Cameron bulls ahead by ordering for me, and it’s the last straw.

The second the waiter walks away I start gathering up my purse to leave.

“What are you doing?”