Page 37 of Reverse Pass

“Stop. It’s not like that.”

“No? What’s all this then?” Her black nails click against the covers of the books on the bed.

“Nothing.”

“Well, if you’re into nothing. I have some suggestions.”

“You read them too?”

“Only the dark stuff. Give me a villain who likes to fuck like he might murder me after.” She shrugs.

I smile and shake my head at her. “Sounds like you.”

“And this?” She points to the jersey, “That nothing too?”

“Correct,” I answer, throwing on a T-shirt over my underwear as I toss my robe to the side.

She gives me an incredulous look.

“What?” I ask, acting like I’m completely clueless to her point.

“I just saw what you’re wearing under that. But sure, keep lying to yourself, sweetie.”

I stare at her through the mirror as I comb my hair, giving a little shake of my head and nodding toward the wall. I don’t want Ben overhearing our conversation and the walls are far from soundproof.

“You could come with and see if he wants to tag along?” She lowers her voice to just above a whisper.

I mull the idea over for a minute, thinking that it might be fun. But as I picture us in the club, I quickly see him becoming the center of a lot of female attention, and I’m not in love with the idea. Particularly now, since I’m obviously not blonde and it’s a preference of his that’s well known enough to be the subject of conversation.

“I doubt he wants to hang out with us elderly women.”

“Fair, I suppose. He can get those hot young ones that are so desperate to find him at a party.”

My eyes flash up to the ceiling at the thought of him with one of them tonight and my stomach flips with jealousy.

“That’s what my face looks like when I’m not jealous too,” she needles me.

“Someday, Joss, a man is going to make you fall so hard in love it’s going to bring you down to the mortal plane with the rest of us and I’m going to relish every second of that.”

“I’d just settle for one that made me want to get on my knees. In the meantime, I’m off to meet Addy.”

“You two have fun. Send me updates?”

“Will do.”

“Be careful. Text if you need me to pick you all up.”

“You be careful too.” She gives me a look in the mirror, one that’s sincere and a little bit worried.

She sat through my initial melt down over Cameron and I doubt she’s ready to do that again. Joss saw men as good friends, playthings, and occasionally as something slightly more. But the idea of falling in love did not occur to her, and she was unfamiliar with the pain of having your heart smashed to a million pieces by someone you were once in love with.

She gives me a little wave and heads out my door, shutting it behind her, and leaving me with the giant elephant in the room. I stare at the jersey like it’s a beating telltale heart sitting on my bed. The hint of jealousy was a bad sign, a very bad sign. The fact that I want to stay in tonight instead of going out? Another bad sign. The fact that Joss of all people was telling me to be careful? The worst sign of all.

THIRTEEN

Ben

It had been30 minutes since I heard Joss leave alone. I know it was alone because I could hear Violet moving around in her room. And I kept waiting, hoping for a text from her. Any sign she was up for my suggestion, but it had been nothing but radio silence. I’d still been hoping up until a few minutes ago.