Page 35 of Revealing Mark

“I…” I swallowed.

I hadn’t intended on speaking to him but I was left with little choice now.

He stood slowly. His hair was messed up like he had just woken up, but I noticed he still wore the same clothes from the day before. I felt a pang of something that I squashed before I could decipher it.

“I…” The words stuck in my throat.

“I… what?” he prompted, moving closer. His eyes slid from the luggage in my one hand to the bag I had hitched over my shoulder.

I held my purse hand tighter, determined to go through with my initial decision to leave. I didn’t need his permission to do anything. I could do what I liked when I wanted.You can do this, I told myself, trying to work up the courage to do what I had to.

“You’re leaving?” he said, with narrowed eyes.

I nodded. “Yes…I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going, Tracy?” he asked slowly.

I bit my lip. “Home.”

His forehead creased and I waited for the lecture.

“I agreed not to say anything to Matt on the condition you stayed here.”

I nodded again.

“If you leave, I tell himeverything.” There was no mistaking the seriousness in his eyes.

“I know that.”

There wasn’t much more to say about it.

There were a couple of feet between us but it felt a lot farther away.

“Why?” he murmured, still studying me intently. “If you needed something, all you had to do was ask.”

He had no idea what a struggle it was being around him and feeling the way I did. It was torture. I needed space to breathe and sort out where I went from here.

“There is nothing I need here.” I swallowed.

He fell silent. I wondered if he’d read deeper into my words referring to the conversation we’d had in the kitchen a week ago.

“Do what you want and I’ll do what I have to.” He left with that parting shot.

I watched him leave, feeling a horrible ache spread through my chest. I hadn’t meant for it to happen this way but what wasdone was done. I ignored unwanted guilt and left, closing the door quietly behind me.

All the way back to my apartment in the taxi, I waited for the moment I would feel some sort of triumph that I had left him on my own terms, but all I felt was the dull ache in my chest.

I kept going over the last conversation with Mark, trying to decipher why he hadn’t acted the way I had expected. Honestly, I had expected him to refuse to allow me to leave, but he had let me go. I suspected there was something more going on with him but I had no idea what.

I expected to feel like I was home when I got back to my place, but I felt restless. I spent the rest of the day doing my washing and catching up on chores. I hated cleaning but it had to be done.

I was running late when I pulled up in front of my parents’ house for lunch the next day. When I parked, I noticed I was the last one to arrive. Even Mark’s car was already there. It meant he had probably told my brother everything.

I rode out the panic to hightail it out of there before I took the determined steps to the front door. It was unlocked as usual, even though I had a set of keys somewhere, although I couldn’t remember exactly where.

The sound of Matthew and Sophie arguing met me when I entered the crowded kitchen.

“Mom, tell Matty to give it back,” Sophie whined, trying to get something out of his hand.