Page 29 of Resisting the Temptation (Broken Shelves #3)

Emma

L ast night, Mateo caught me off guard, and I couldn’t put my sunshine mask on quickly enough to appear excited to meet him.

Then, seeing Ben with him threw me even more because we’ve barely spoken this week— oops —and seeing him in a place that’s supposed to be a safe space rocked me.

I’m more prepared today.

I left McGrath’s early last night to have a good cry and repair my sunshiney armor so I can present as my bubbly self today, even if I don’t feel it on the inside.

I don’t know how to dress because I don’t know if we’ll be inside or outside, so I opt for a mustard-colored corduroy mini skirt and a plain black bodysuit I can wear a cardigan over if we’re outside.

I’m just adding my jewelry when the doorbell rings, and Jordan calls out, “I’ve got it!”

I can’t make out what they’re saying, but I hear the deep timbre of Ben’s voice through my closed door, and the sound alone sends a shiver down my spine.

It’s like my body knows tonight is supposed to be one of our sessions, and I’m pent up as fuck after not having a release last week.

Despite avoiding him and not knowing where we stand, I’ve been following his rule about not touching myself. It’s been torture, but I don’t want to disappoint him.

If he still wants me, that is.

Maybe he’s in on setting me up with Mateo, and this is his way of telling me he’s done with our arrangement. As much as I want to pretend it wouldn’t hurt, even the idea of it makes me want to sob.

I shake my head and clear away those thoughts. They won’t help me right now.

After zipping up my boots and grabbing a cardigan, I take a deep breath before opening my bedroom door quietly. The carpet muffles my footsteps, and I find Ben and Jordan in the kitchen talking quietly, a steely look on Ben’s face.

I hope he’s not being an ass to my best friend, because I’ll smack him if he is.

Jordan notices me first, and their face twists into a smug smirk, which has me on alert. Jordan is as sweet as a kitten, but I know that look means they’re scheming, and if they’re scheming, it can’t be good for me, especially after how they tried to get me to agree to open up my heart for Ben.

Ben turns, and my breath catches at his slow perusal of my body. He’s looking at me like he’s a lion and I’m his prey, and he’s calculating how fast he’ll need to run to catch me. His gaze is appreciative and overwhelming, and I hate that I want to ask him if he likes my outfit.

His opinion on what I wear doesn’t matter.

“What were you two talking about?” I ask, straightening my spine.

Ben and Jordan share a look I don’t like. How could they have bonded already in the five minutes it took for me to finish getting ready?

“Just introducing myself. Ben didn’t know I was nonbinary or that we’ve been best friends for over two decades,” Jordan answers with a smile. That helps my nerves, it means Ben wasn’t being a dick about their gender identity.

“Surely I’ve mentioned it at work,” I say to Ben.

He shrugs. “I know you referred to your roommate as ‘they,’ but I thought it meant you had more than one. It never occurred to me Jordan was nonbinary.”

“Is it a problem for you?” I ask, ready to defend if necessary. I won’t tolerate an ignorant asshole.

“Not at all. I’m just happy to have finally met them.” Ben gives Jordan a small but rare smile, and they beam back at him.

I don’t like this… camaraderie they seem to have.

“Okay… Well, we better get going. I don’t want to be late and make a bad impression.” I grab the bouquet of peonies I picked up this morning from the counter and march to the door.

“It was great to meet you, Jordan. I’ll be in touch,” Ben says with a nod to Jordan.

“Nice to meet you, too, Ben! Looking forward to it. Have fun, Mimi! Love you! ”

“Love you, too. Hate that you two are apparently friends now,” I reply, which just makes Jordan grin and Ben chuckle.

Ben follows me out the front door and leads me to his car. He opens the door for me, holding the flowers while I get in, then handing them back before shutting the door and rounding the car to get in the driver’s side.

“What did you mean you’ll be in touch with them?” I ask as Ben pulls out of the driveway.

“They’re helping me with something.”

“Oh, good. You’re finally going to therapy?”

Ben scowls at me. “I don’t need therapy.”

I snort. “Right. I forgot. They’d have to surgically remove the stick from your ass first.”

“Where was this side of you yesterday at the bar, Dulzura ?”

Fuck, I forgot how sweet that nickname sounds.

My body responds like we’re in a scene. My needy vagina chanting fuck me, fuck me, fuck me while my brain tells her to calm the fuck down.

“I was caught off guard last night,” I reluctantly admit.

“What about the rest of the week? Hmm? You’ve been avoiding me.”

“I’ve been busy. My life doesn’t revolve around you. Sounds like you need to get your ego checked out along with that stick.”

I sure as fuck hope he can’t see through my bullshit answer.

I’ve been avoiding him because of the flowers.

They flipped the attachment switch in my brain and made me start to wonder what it would be like to spend Saturday nights at the club and Sunday mornings eating breakfast in bed.

They made me start to wonder if he’d make room for my clothes in his closet, what our toothbrushes would look like together, and if the scent of my shampoo would mix well with his.

Things I have no business wondering because this thing is just sex . That’s all it can be. I can’t risk my job, and I can’t risk my heart.

Ben pulls into a parking lot for a city park, and I look around at all the families scattered about, but I don’t see the Rossis.

“Is this where we’re having… lunch?” I trail off when I turn and see the intense way Ben’s staring at me.

“No, Dulzura. I needed to ask some questions.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want you going into this unprepared.”

I sigh. “Fine. Ask away.”

“Are you aware they’re trying to set you up with Mateo?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes. I gathered that when your dad said, ‘Mateo is excited to meet you.’”

“And you still agreed to come? Why?”

“I didn’t know until after I agreed! What was I supposed to say? ‘Sorry, Enzo, I can’t date your son because I’m actually fucking your other son.’ It would have been rude to go back on my word.”

Ben seems to mull over my answer for a minute before he hesitantly asks, “Do you want to date Mateo?”

No. I want you to take me to your place and help me turn my brain off for the rest of the day. I want to date you and maybe eventually steal your last name .

I don’t say that, though. Because I can’t let him think I’m getting attached.

Instead, I shrug. “Why not? I’ve already tried one Rossi brother, might as well try out the other one. Do a side-by-side comparison. Ooo, maybe we could have a threesome. I do love a good ‘why choose’ romance. There’s something hot about it being two brothers.”

I could be imagining it, but I swear Ben growls. “I don’t share, honey. Especially not with my brother.”

I push my bottom lip out. “Bummer.”

In a flash, Ben has his hand wrapped around my throat in a possessive—yet surprisingly gentle—grip, and he’s leaned over the center console, pulling me forward so our noses are an inch apart.

“I think I need to make something clear, so listen carefully. You’re going to be polite to Mateo, but you’re not going to give him any indication you’re interested. You’re mine, Dulzura. ”

I swallow thickly. “I’m not yours,” I whisper weakly.

Ben chuckles darkly, like he knows I’m full of shit, then brings our faces closer so the tips of our noses touch. His hot breath fans against my mouth, and I’ve never wanted to break my “no kissing” rule more than I do right now.

“Tell me you won’t leave with him. Tell me I get to have you tonight.” It’s not a request, but a demand.

“Drew?” is all I can respond with.

“You already agreed to come to my place.”

“Ben, I—”

“ Please. ”

I don’t think I’ve ever heard him beg, and I’m helpless to deny his plea. Especially when I want it just as badly .

“Yes, Sir.”

“Good girl.” His hand releases my throat, and I nearly whine at the loss.

He sits back and pulls out of the parking lot, acting like our conversation never even happened.

I have more questions now than I did before, and I feel I’m not prepared for any of the answers.