Page 17 of Resisting the Temptation (Broken Shelves #3)

Emma

B enjamin Rossi is giving me fucking whiplash. The audacity of that man.

Ugh . Infuriating asshole.

I spent all of Sunday thinking about his offer, writing a pros and cons list and how I feel about him in my journal. Then, I spent Monday and Tuesday pretending nothing happened at the club.

Again.

Every time I close my eyes, I picture him crowding me against the wall. I swear I can still feel his breath against the side of my face as he detailed his offer. My pussy clenches every time I think about it.

Even if his offer feels a lot like exclusivity, even if it’s nothing more than a sexual relationship.

I don’t know if I can do exclusivity after almost four years.

I don’t want to risk falling for him .

I have a list of questions I need answers to before I can agree to his deal. I know he said he doesn't want to bring the club business into work, but I need to be able to have enough time before Saturday to organize my thoughts without getting caught up in the lust of being around him.

We’re in his work truck headed to a job site about an hour away, and I’m trying to muster the courage to bring it up.

Clearing my throat, I say, “I know you don’t want to mix business and pleasure, and I wholeheartedly agree, but in order for me to make an educated decision, I have some questions about your… offer.”

Other than the tense strain of his jaw, I wouldn’t be able to tell he’s affected by my words. “Go ahead and ask them.”

I pull out my notebook and a black pen, turning to the section where I wrote down my questions. “We would only be meeting at the club, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Okay. How often would we be meeting?”

“I think every other Saturday is good. Does that work for you?”

“I can make it work. Would this be… I mean, would you…” I take a deep breath. “Would we be able to have other sexual partners?”

Ben’s jaw works while he considers his answer. “No. If we’re doing this, I don’t want there to be any other variants. It’s safer if we don’t have any other sexual partners. ”

“Okay.” My palms start sweating at his answer. I wasn’t expecting that. “What happens if one of us has an urge and it’s not one of our assigned nights?”

Ben’s arms flex as he adjusts his grip on the steering wheel, and I swear I almost drool. Why are his arms so sexy?

“If we do this, there will be rules. I will own all of your orgasms. If you have an urge outside of our designated time together, then you’ll have to take a cold shower.”

I gape at him. There’s no way he wants me to go two weeks at a time without an orgasm. I haven’t gone that long without an orgasm since I had a mono flare up three years ago. “You won’t know if I get off if you aren’t there,” I argue.

“That’s true, but I think you like being a good girl and following directions, especially if the reward is worth it.” He glances over, and I swear I see a flash of heat in his espresso eyes. “Besides, your fingers or a toy wouldn’t be nearly as satisfying as what I can do to you.”

I squeeze my legs together. My slutty vagina agrees. She certainly remembers what he’s capable of, and she gives a wistful sigh at the memory while urging me to say yes.

“Okay, um, I think that’s all of my questions.” It’s not, but I don’t want to talk about this anymore. I shut my notebook and slide it back into my bag.

“Eight o’clock Saturday.”

As if I could forget.

By Thursday morning I knew I was going to go.

I could say it’s only because I’m curious about kink and want to explore that side of myself, but it’s not the whole truth.

Honestly, as much as the exclusivity aspect of it scares the living shit out of me because I’m scared I’ll get attached, I’m tired of having to find new people to fuck.

The routine of every other Saturday will be helpful and knowing I can trust Ben with my body gives me peace of mind.

I really hope my heart can stay the fuck out of it, especially because I’ll still see him at the office.

I arrive at the club at seven forty-five so I have ample time to psych myself up for what’s to come. This time, I put a red ribbon around my wrist. I don’t go to the bar because I want to have my mind clear for what’s about to happen.

When I get to the door of the room I’ve been in twice already, I take a deep breath before scanning my card. It flashes green, and I hesitantly poke my head in before stepping inside and scanning the empty room.

My heart sinks, and anxiety threatens to swallow me whole.

Ben’s not here yet.

Maybe he’s not coming at all. Maybe he’s changed his mind and doesn’t want to be stuck with me.

He said eight o’clock. He still has a few minutes.

I sit on the chaise, and memories of the last time I was sitting here assault me, and my lust flares. I squeeze my thighs together and try to relieve the arousal quickly working its way through my bloodstream, gathering at my clit, but it doesn’t help .

It’s been too long since I got laid.

The door clicks and opens. Ben’s sculpted body filling the doorway kicks my arousal up by ten degrees.

He lets the door close softly behind him before he addresses me, “You came.”

I stand quickly, though I don’t know why. “I did.”

Ben nods. “I wasn’t sure if you would.”

I swallow. “I wasn’t either.”

“What convinced you?”

Lust. Desire. The overwhelming need to please you even though I don’t really understand it.

I don’t say that, obviously. That would be embarrassing. “I don’t want to have to find someone new to show me the ropes. So to speak.”

I rarely see Ben smile at work, but the corners of his mouth tip up into a lecherous grin full of dirty promises. “I’ll definitely show you the ropes. But later. It’s been a while, and I think we need to go over the rules again.”

I roll my eyes. “I remember the rules.”

Ben raises an eyebrow at me. “Did you just roll your eyes at me?”

There’s no point in lying, so I raise my chin defiantly. “Yes, Sir.”

Ben prowls towards me like a panther sneaking up on its prey. “The first time we were here you were so sweet. So submissive. So eager to please. What’s changed, Dulzura ?”

God, that nickname. I want to know what it means, but I don’t dare ask and ruin the mystery.

“I didn’t know you as well back then,” I admit, even though it’s mostly a lie .

The truth of the matter is the first time, I immediately felt safe with Ben. I felt like I could give up control to him, especially since Kiera’s the one who paired us. I didn’t feel like I had to present myself as a confident, bubbly person. I could just… let go and let him make the rules.

Now, I feel like I’m at war with myself because outside of this room, I’m one person, and in here, I’m another. But I can’t tell Ben that because what if he thinks I’m not being authentic? Both sides of my personality are true to who I am, even if sometimes I have to force the happy side.

Ben tsks. “I don’t think so, Emma. Try again. The truth this time.” He’s right in front of me now. Every breath I take has my breasts brushing against his broad chest, and he’s staring into my eyes like he’s trying to solve a puzzle.

I blink and look away, the intensity of his stare too much to handle right now.

“This doesn’t work without trust.”

“If I promise to not sass you again, promise to just follow your directions, can we just move on from the topic? Please ?” I beg, crossing my arms over my chest.

Ben grips my chin between his pointer finger and thumb and tilts my head, so I’m forced to look into his chocolatey brown eyes. They seem softer than they were a moment ago, but I don’t trust the warmth will stay.

“I see this is hard for you, so I’ll let it go.”

I let out a breath of relief.

“For now.”

I scowl at him, and he releases my chin with a quiet chuckle .

“Do you remember your safe words?”

“Red for stop, yellow for slow down, green for good to go,” I recite. I haven’t looked at stoplights the same since our first time.

“Good. Are you on birth control?”

“Yes. I have an IUD. I can give you proof with medical records if you need it.”

Ben shakes his head. “I trust you.”

Those three words are like a punch in the gut. I like that he trusts me, but a small part of me wonders why he trusts me here but not in the office.

This has nothing to do with work. He’s your Dom right now, not your coworker.

In the next breath he commands, “Take off your dress.”

Let the scene begin, I guess.