Page 23 of Resisting the Temptation (Broken Shelves #3)

Emma

I don’t understand why I’m crying. But I admit it feels kind of… good. Cleansing. It’s not like I don’t cry—I cry a lot. But this feels like it’s coming from a place buried deep inside me. Somewhere I couldn’t reach on my own. It feels safe.

Which is crazy because the last person I thought I’d ever feel comfortable crying in front of would be grumpy, emotionless Ben Rossi.

Every hit of the paddle makes me feel a bit lighter now that I’ve let myself feel everything and stopped trying to keep myself from crying.

Ben soothes each hit of the paddle with his big hands, and I’m getting more turned on. This isn’t supposed to be something I enjoy, but I do.

Shame tries to creep its way into my brain, but I push it away. I remind myself of all the research I’ve done. There’s nothing shameful about liking a little pain with my pleasure .

Ben lands the last strike so it hits both cheeks, I hear the paddle hit the floor, and then Ben scoops me into his arms and has me straddle his lap while he strokes my hair and my back, whispering praises of how well I did into my ear.

“I’m so proud of you, Dulzura. You’re so strong. So brave for letting me spank you with the paddle. You took it like such a good girl. So perfect.”

Ben smells like clean laundry, peppermint, and something that’s only him. It makes me want to snuggle into him and fall asleep.

But that’s not what this is.

I feel how hard he is between my thighs, and I experimentally rock against him. I don’t want our night to end with me crying. I want to feel him inside me.

“Emma,” he warns, tightening his grip on my hips. “What are you doing?”

“I want to feel you, Sir. Please.”

“You just had a very emotional experience with the paddling, I’m not sure—”

“ Please, ” I beg, rolling my hips again. “I promise, Sir, I’m good. I want—no—I need to feel you.” I need the connection with him.

Ben lets out a mixture of a growl and a groan. “Since you interrupted me, Dulzura , you’ll have to do all the work. Get off for a minute.”

I climb off of him so he can take off his underwear, which has a wet patch from me on his lap. Oops. He settles back onto the bed with his legs spread as he fists his cock and strokes it slowly twice.

“Come ride me, Dulzura. Show me just how eager you are to have your pussy filled. ”

I jump on the bed and straddle his strong thighs, notching the fat head of his cock at my entrance. I thought he was big last time, but he seems larger now, if it’s even possible.

While Ben’s hands grip my hips, I slowly sink onto him until our laps are flush together.

“God damn, that’s it honey. Take all of me,” Ben groans.

I sit back up on my knees, which leaves only the head in before I slam back down onto him.

“Fuck yes, let me see these tits bounce. Ride me, Emma. Make us both come,” Ben demands before taking my nipple into his mouth.

I don’t think too much about him calling me Emma and not “honey” or “ Dulzura ”. If I think too much about it, my heart will get involved.

Bracing myself on his strong shoulders, I bounce up and down rapidly while he sucks and nips my nipples and breasts. He bites hard enough I’m sure there’ll be a mark tomorrow.

I can’t wait.

My ass stings when I sit down fully, and my thighs are starting to burn, but I don’t want to disappoint him, so I push through it.

Ben must sense my stamina waning because in an instant, he flips us so he’s hovering above me, his face mere millimeters from mine.

I have the strongest urge to grab his face and crash our lips together, but I push the thought away.

“Are you close, Dulzura ?”

“Yes, Sir. Please, can I come? ”

Ben brings one of my legs over his shoulder. “Come for me. Come before I fill your pussy with my cum.”

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he starts a brutal pace.

The angle makes it feel like he’s hitting spots that have never been touched before and within seconds, I’m coming.

This release feels like taking a big breath of air after holding your breath.

My head feels fuzzy and my limbs numb as the pleasure overtakes me.

When I think my orgasm is about to subside, he pinches my clit and sets me off again, one orgasm rolling into another. My climax must push him over the edge because soon after, his hot cum fills me to the brim.

Ben stills but stays inside me for another minute while we catch our breath. I open my eyes to find he’s already staring at me, something unreadable in his gaze. I wish I could read whatever’s happening in his head.

“Stay right here. I’m going to get something to clean you up.”

I nearly whimper again when he pulls out of me, and to my horror, I feel another few tears roll down my cheek.

I quickly wipe them away so Ben doesn’t think I’m over-emotional and overly sensitive. The last thing I need is him deciding he doesn’t want to be around me because I’m too much—too needy.

He comes back with a bottle of water and a snack. He quickly cleans me up before ordering me to drink and eat. If he notices my tears, he doesn’t say anything as he wraps me in a soft blanket and cuddles me from behind while he strokes my hair.

I know aftercare is important, especially after the way I reacted to the paddle, but this feels too intimate. It’s making me think he cares about me more than he probably does.

After a few minutes of silence, he quietly asks, “Do you know why you were crying during the paddling?”

“I guess part of me was embarrassed I liked it. But another part of me felt… safe to cry. Like the paddling shook loose some emotions I’ve been holding in.”

“I’ve heard that can happen, and I’ve had a few subs cry during impact play. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.”

Something akin to jealousy pinches in my stomach, but I brush it off. I know he’s had other subs. He’ll have others after me, so I have no reason to feel possessive over him.

This is temporary.

“Logically, I know that, but sometimes I forget. I grew up very religious. Sex before marriage is considered the second worst sin to murder, and masturbation follows close behind. Sometimes the purity culture bullshit creeps its way into my psyche and overwhelms me with guilt.”

“That’s… a lot to deal with.”

I snort. “Yeah, it is.”

It’s not even the worst thing I was taught, but I don’t need to get into that right now.

“I don’t think every other Saturday is working for me,” Ben says after a few minutes of silence.

My heart sinks. He’s already done with me. I roll away and sit up so he can’t see my disappointment, covering myself with the blanket.

“Okay.”

I feel him sit up too. “I think we should meet once a week.”

I turn around to face him, my pulse kicking up speed. “Are you sure?” I can admit I like the idea while also knowing it’s a bad one. More time together outside of work means more time my heart has to get attached.

His face doesn’t give way to his emotions. Of course it doesn’t. “I’m positive. It was a long two weeks, and I think it’d be good to have more lessons so we can… explore your kinks more.”

“Well, we can’t next Saturday because we have the Allridge party.”

Ben frowns. “Then we can leave the party together and come here.”

“I suppose that could work. Jordan can’t make it, so I was just going to take an Uber or something.”

His jaw tightens like it usually does when I bring Jordan up, which is odd, but whatever. “Okay. We’ll meet there and then come here after.”

I can’t help but feel like this breaks some of the rules of our agreement, but I don’t dare bring it up.