Page 55 of Resilience on Canvas

“Yeah, he might be crushed for a bit,” Henry said.

“But, uhm, I’m sure Robert would move past it.

Eventually. And it would be easier for me and him, too, because we wouldn’t need to find such a large house if you and May and the twins wanted to stay here instead.

Though, well, with how things are lookin’, me and Robert might never even have enough to rent one of them single bedrooms. Not when we’d be chippin’ in for expenses here, too.

Robert wouldn’t never not pay my parents for yer rent and food and such.

It’s killin’ him now that he can’t pay them as much as he wants.

Not to mention the funeral money that we still owe them. ”

“I know.” She pressed her lips together in a thin line, her brow furrowing, and shook her head. “I hope y’all can find somethin’ better soon.”

“Me too. ”

Tucking a lock of hair behind her ear, Clara said, “Would you mind not tellin’ Robert what I said tonight? I can’t bear the thought of hurtin’ him right now.”

“Nah, I won’t tell him. I promise.”

After one more hug, Henry and Clara went up the stairs together and parted for their respective bedrooms. Quietly, Henry changed into a bed shirt and slipped beneath the covers, careful not to wake Robert as he climbed into bed.

Soon, Joe and Rose would move out into their own place.

Once that happened, Robert and Henry would no longer be permitted to share a room.

Unless they found a way to move out, their nights of snuggling together were numbered.

Days of backbreaking labor that only ever yielded enough money for a meal or two had Henry close to surrendering to melancholy, to letting himself believe that nothing would ever change. But he still wanted that future with Robert. He wanted it so Goddamn much.

Henry wrapped Robert up in an embrace and pulled him close. He soon fell asleep clutching tight to the man he loved. And to that tiny thread of hope.

***

One week later, Henry honestly couldn’t take living with his parents no more.

Not that his folks had been mean or nothing.

In fact, they had been fairly pleasant. Both of his parents seemed to have enough sense not to make Robert feel worse about the fact that him and Henry had been making pennies in the fruit fields.

Henry’s father, of course, continued to urge them to find “real work.” But, other than that, his remarks weren’t too biting.

Still, Henry knew Robert was hating every second in that house.

He was keeping a total of the money he thought he owed the Sherwoods for their hospitality, listing out things that him and his siblings had eaten, as well as the cost of clothes and even the meager cost of fabric swatches or patches that Clara had used to mend the clothes they had.

Robert had been keeping track of the “rent” he felt that he owed the Sherwoods, too.

Every single day that passed while Robert and his family were living with the Sherwoods, the larger the total became.

Making matters worse was the fact that soon, him and Robert wouldn’t even be sleeping in the same room as each other, much less the same bed.

Because Rose had been hired by that theater company.

Her and Joe would move out within a week or two.

Henry could feel it in his bones. And then, once they moved out, things would start to feel so permanent.

Robert would have his room with the twins.

Henry would have his own by himself. Everything would be unfolding the way Henry’s parents wanted it to.

Goodness, how sad that would be. Even if him and Robert couldn’t be intimate right now, they still held each other every night.

Honest to God, the only thing keeping Henry together was having that time with Robert, snuggled up close.

He had a feeling it was the only thing holding Robert together, too.

Henry couldn’t let them lose the little they still had.

Still, Henry wasn’t sure how the heck he could fix things.

Or to what extent he should . Would Clara want to leave with them even though she was enjoying life with the Sherwoods?

Probably Clara would prioritize Robert’s needs over her own wants.

Which wasn’t right. And yet, Clara knew as well as Henry that her confessing she and the kids wanted to stay with the Sherwoods might break Robert completely.

Henry would have to figure out how to make sure Clara could stay with the Sherwoods without Robert realizing it was what she wanted. Somehow.

Squeezed between Joe and Robert as the three of them rode back from their long, exhausting day in the fields, Henry racked his brain for ideas.

He tried not to let Robert’s still-somber mood pull him into the pit of misery.

Over the last week, Henry had spent hours pretending to sleep while feeling Robert’s body shake from secret, silent sobs, and it had taken every bit of strength he had not to reveal that he’d heard every soft whimper and that he’d wanted to burst out crying too.

Staring out the window, Henry continued to search his brain for a solution, but with each city block, it was becoming harder and harder not to surrender to the lure of hopelessness.

Then, when they were only about a minute from Henry’s parents’ house, they passed a really large home, one with two separate front entrances, which was interesting.

Henry caught sight of a sign out front that said, in big block letters, “For Rent: Multi-Family Home.”

Henry’s heart leapt into his throat.

Good Lord, why hadn’t he thought of it before?

Henry’s heart began to hammer from excitement, the solution to their biggest problem bursting into his mind with brilliant clarity.

He fought to hold himself back from blurting it out.

First, he needed to propose his plan to Joe in private, and then, if Joe liked the idea, he’d need to propose it to Robert, who probably wouldn’t like it in the least.

Oh, God, he hoped they would both say yes.

After Joe parked in front of Henry’s parents’ house, everyone climbed out of the car, but when they started toward the stairs, Henry took Joe by the sleeve and kept him back.

“Hey, uhm, Robert?” Robert stopped and looked over his shoulder. “I need to talk to Joe for a little minute. ”

Robert raised an eyebrow. “Uh, yeah, okay. I’ll see you inside, then.”

Once Robert was inside, Henry said to Joe, “So, have you and Rose found a house yet? Or a room to rent or somethin’?”

“Nah, not yet. Rentin’ a home out here is ex-or-bi-tant.”

Henry pursed his lips for a moment to keep himself from smiling. Good old Joe and his fancy words. Henry’s father had used that one a bunch recently, which was likely where Joe had picked it up.

“Yeah, they’re real expensive.” Henry felt a little ping of nervousness in his belly as he prepared to propose his plan. “But maybe we could help each other out in that respect? Like maybe our families could... share a home?”

“What, like, you and me and Rose and Robert and everybody?”

“Yeah.”

Joe narrowed his eyes. He started nodding like he was thinking it over. Henry’s stomach churned from nervousness. Hopefully Joe would say yes. Henry hadn’t thought of no other solution to the housing issue yet.

“Yeah, I think that’d work,” Joe said. “But will Robert want to live with me and Rosie?”

“Maybe? I haven’t really talked to him yet. You really wouldn’t mind livin’ with the kids?”

“Nah, I like kids. Me and Rosie, we want to have some of our own eventually. Not yet, though. Tell you the truth, one of the reasons we were so happy that we won that money was because we could buy some more of them Merry Widows.”

Henry’s eyebrows shot up. Gosh, those rubber condoms weren’t cheap. Sherwood Goods had stocked them for a bit back in Guymon .

“Oh, uhm, yeah, I can imagine how stressful it must have been to try to budget for those before,” Henry said. “Can I really propose the housin’ plan to Robert?”

“Of course. I’ll talk to Rosie. I’m sure she’ll say yes, though. Especially if you promise to beautify our house with some of that artwork of yers.”

Henry’s cheeks warmed. It seemed strange that Joe would want Henry to put his silly sketches up on the walls.

“If you really want me to, I can,” he said. “But with Rosie’s theater money, you can probably buy real paintings and such.”

“Now there’s somethin’!” Joe exclaimed. “We can buy some paintin’ supplies for you so that you can fill our house with canvases. We can buy one of those, uhm, things them painters put their blobs of paint on and some brushes and whatever else.”

“Gosh, Joe, I couldn’t let you buy me none of that stuff.”

“Why not? We still need to pay you back for ringin’ that bell back in Alva. The only reason we won was because of you.”

Henry’s face continued to burn. “Alright, if you really want, I suppose you can buy me a couple of things. I’ve been wantin’ to paint for a long time.”

Joe smiled. “Well, let’s head in so that we can both bring up the housin’ thing with our spouses.”

Henry’s stomach fluttered. Lord, he liked being called Robert’s spouse. Even if it wasn’t really the truth, legally speaking. It was true in his heart, though. And in Robert’s heart as well.

Once Henry and Joe made their way inside, Henry left to find Robert while Joe went to talk to Rose.

Henry found Robert speaking with Clara in her and May’s bedroom.

He asked Robert if the two of them could talk privately, and so, they went to their bedroom and sent the twins to the kitchen, telling them to find themselves a pre-supper snack.

They took a seat next to each other on the edge of their mattress .

“Robert, I think I came up with a solution for our housin’ situation, maybe.”

Robert stayed quiet.

“Uhm...” Henry chewed on his bottom lip, taking a moment to muster up the tiny bit of courage he had in him. “What if we lived with Joe and Rose?”

Robert shook his head. “How would we ever afford the rent, Hen?”

“Well, if we find us a little house, it’ll only be twenty a month or so.”

“Yeah, only ,” Robert sneered, looking away.

“I think we could manage the ten we’d need.”

“And we’d still have to share a bedroom.”

“Yeah, we would.” Henry paused. “Unless we could convince Clara to stay here?”

Henry wouldn’t tell Robert how easy of a time they’d have convincing her of that.

“I can’t make her stay here,” Robert said.

“Just for a little while. Until one of us found some better work.”

Or forever, maybe, if Clara could find the courage to tell Robert what she wanted.

Heaving a sad-sounding sigh, Robert leaned forward to rest his elbows in his knees. “I’m failin’ them, Hen,” he said. “I’m failin’ you, too.”

“Yer not,” Henry said, scooting closer. He pulled Robert in for a sideways hug and kissed his cheek. “You’ve never failed none of us. Not before. Not now. Not ever.”

He continued to press kisses to Robert’s face, each and every one filled with as much love and sincerity as he had.

If only he could make Robert feel how proud he still was of him.

Robert was still the strongest and most beautiful soul he’d ever met, no matter what kind of money he was making. Or wasn’t making .

It only took forty or so kisses before Robert cracked a small smile.

“It’ll really make you happy if I say yes to this, huh?” he said.

“Uh-huh.” Henry peppered a few more kisses on Robert’s face for good measure. “Real, real happy, Robert. I want our own room. I want us to keep fightin’ for our future. And I think the two of us havin’ our own little house is the first step. We won’t keep owin’ my parents so much that way.”

“Our own little house with Joe and Rose, you mean. We’ll owe them instead.”

“Well, yeah, but—”

“ And we’ll still have to chip in here for housin’ and food and everything.”

“I know, but—”

“But we’ll be together, I suppose. Which is something.”

“It’s a big something,” Henry said, hope fluttering in his chest. “At least, I think it is.”

Robert turned to face him, and they exchanged a soft kiss.

“Aright,” Robert said through a sigh. “We can live with yer friends if it’ll mean that much to you. But if Clara wants her and the kids to come with us, I’m not sure how we’ll manage to find a house that’ll be big enough for everyone. Not if we want our own room.”

“Let me talk to her,” Henry said. “I’ll see if I can convince her to stay here a while.”

“Yeah, you try that, little wolf.”

Henry nuzzled Robert’s nose. “I promise things’ll work out, Robert. I know they will.”

“I’ll pray for it, Hen, but I’m losin’ hope.”

Henry closed his eyes to block out the pain from hearing those words on Robert’s lips .

“Don’t lose hope, Robert,” Henry whispered. “I want to keep fightin’ for the life we want. Can you promise to keep fightin’ with me? Please?”

Robert exhaled a trembling breath. “I’ll try.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Holding tight to Robert’s promise, Henry captured Robert’s mouth in a kiss.