Page 34 of Resilience on Canvas

Chapter Eighteen

Robert

Thirty-two hours later, Robert’s eyes were fluttering closed, his body heavy and mind foggy .

He hadn’t slept a wink. He’d been intermittently tensing his muscles for the entirety of the competition, both from worrying over the potential outcome and from having to watch Henry hugging Audrey close for so Goddamn long.

Once Henry and Audrey had become too tired to keep themselves upright, they started hanging on each other, taking turns keeping the other up, as Robert had predicted.

Christ, the competition couldn’t be over soon enough.

Right now, the only people left were Henry and Audrey, Rose and Joe, and some other couple, though they looked to be in their thirties or forties.

No way them two would outlast Henry and Audrey.

Rose and Joe, though, Robert could see them winning instead, which wouldn’t have been so terrible had it not been for the fact that Robert and Henry needed the money so Goddamn bad.

With a huff, Robert sat forward, resting his elbows on his knees, and tried to ignore the fact that his stomach was growling.

Loudly. Loudly enough that he could hear it over the music.

He’d been so wound up since the beginning of the competition that he had barely even eaten.

Earlier that morning, the competition organizers had cooked eggs—real Goddamn eggs!

—for the competitors and spectators both, and even though they had smelled and looked like the best batch of eggs Robert might ever have seen in his whole fucking life, he had only managed four or five bites.

Henry had inhaled two plates, though. Thank God for that.

One more hour passed. Robert’s stomach continued to make terrible noises.

Henry seemed to be on the verge of falling over.

He was resting so much of his weight on Audrey that the poor girl was clenching her teeth, her eyebrows pinched as though she was using every bit of her strength to keep Henry from toppling.

Chewing on his bottom lip, Robert checked the clock.

Only two more minutes had passed. The minutes continued to crawl as Robert bounced his leg and watched the second hand move.

Twenty minutes remained before the next fifteen-minute break.

Blowing out a breath, Robert looked back over at Henry, only to see the man’s eyes slowly slip shut.

Dear God, Henry had fallen asleep! On his feet!

Leaning on Audrey! One wrong move and he’d tumble to the floor.

Desperate to warn Henry’s competition partner, Robert stood, but the sound of his chair legs screeching on the hardwood caused Audrey to startle.

Henry slid off of her, his momentum taking him forward before he even opened his eyes.

Robert’s hands flew to his head. Gripping his hair, Robert watched in horror as Henry’s knees kissed the wood and a whistle blew.

“Son of a bitch,” Robert growled, his fingertips pushing into his skull.

Giving himself one more moment to mentally fall apart before he’d have to figure out how to comfort Henry, Robert let his hands fall and smack the back of the empty chair in front of him, his fantasies of their life in California shattering before his eyes .

Robert still hadn’t wiped the frustrated look off of his face when Henry found him in the small sea of spectators. Henry mouthed “I’m sorry,” and Robert winced.

“Don’t be,” he mouthed back before shimmying out of the row of spectator seats.

Henry was still staggering to his feet when Robert reached him.

Audrey was rubbing his back, saying things like “I had a ton of fun, Henry. I’m not mad” and “thank you for trying.” But Robert knew that Audrey’s words, though sweet, weren’t what Henry needed to hear.

He needed to hear what Robert himself wanted to hear—that they’d still make it to California.

Now back on his feet, Henry curled his shoulders forward and kept his head low. From a few feet away, Rose and Joe shouted that they’d make sure to win. Henry and Robert both winced when they heard those words.

Because the two of them hadn’t only lost some silly competition.

They’d lost everything.

Henry’s family was moving, whether Henry liked it or not, and Robert was losing the farm.

Sweet little May was still coughing sometimes, her lungs wrecked from the storms. Without no shelter, May’s condition could worsen, and Robert could lose her.

Hell, without no home, he could lose everyone.

Because the Davis family wouldn’t have no protection from the next black blizzard.

Neither would they have a place to sleep or to store food. How would they even survive?

Robert had to save the people he loved. Somehow. No matter how much the Davis family had once loved Oklahoma, it wasn’t their home no more.

Furrowing his brow, Robert began to rack his mind for a solution.

He could sell the car, maybe. He would sell it.

He had no other choice now. Selling it would make him fifty bucks or so.

One hundred if he was lucky. Robert closed his eyes to try to work out the math.

Henry had said that taking everyone on the train would cost eighty or so.

If Robert could manage to sell the tractor, too, he’d have enough for everyone’s train fare, perhaps even with some left over.

But Robert knew from experience how fast money left a person’s hands, even when only purchasing the minimum needed to survive.

In California, they’d still need food and water and shelter and clothes and, hell, potentially even medical care.

Even in the best of circumstances, the Davis family would barely be surviving.

But barely surviving was a better fate than what might await them if they stayed in Oklahoma.

Barely surviving would have to be enough.

“Come on, we should sit,” Robert said, motioning to the seats. “Wait for Joe and Rose.”

Absentmindedly, Henry nodded, his bottom lip trembling.

Robert, Henry, and Audrey walked over to the chairs. When Robert moved to sit, Henry caught his sleeve, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Robert . . .” He choked out.

One lone tear escaped. Robert curled his hands into fists to fight the urge to wipe it away.

Henry released the fabric of Robert’s shirt and reached up to wipe his own cheek, but Robert caught his hand. His heart stuttered from the skin-to-skin contact.

He needed to comfort Henry now. He had to tell his man that he had everything figured out. Henry needed reassurance that they’d still make it to California and that even though the circumstances wouldn’t be even close to perfect, they’d manage somehow.

“I need to talk to you,” Robert said.

He released Henry’s hand but took hold of the bottom of his shirt sleeve instead. Clutching tight to the fabric, he started to leave, pulling Henry with him .

After a few paces, he looked over his shoulder to call out to Audrey. “Be right back.”

Robert’s stomach was still fluttering from that brief moment of hand-holding. Walking back into the hallway, Robert searched for a place where they could have some privacy. Somewhere the two of them could talk.

Somewhere they could talk and... maybe other things too.

Because, oh, he wanted to kiss away Henry’s sorrows. Even though Henry hadn’t won the money for California, Robert knew how Goddamn hard he had tried. He was proud of his little wolf. And he needed Henry to know it.

When the two of them reached the long hallway with the row of closed doors, Robert tried one at random, turning the knob and yanking it open.

On the other side was a narrow set of stairs that started winding halfway up.

Robert could tell that there weren’t no lights on up there.

Only sunlight. He wasn’t sure where the hell it went, but wherever that might be, Robert couldn’t wait no more.

He started up the stairs, tugging Henry with him.

“Close it behind you,” Robert whispered.

Henry shut the door. Robert pulled on his sleeve a little, trying to coax him to follow, but Henry stayed put on the bottom stair.

“Uhm, where—”

“I need to talk to you,” Robert whispered in a clipped tone.

“But, my friends, they—”

“They’re fine.”

“Can’t we talk out there?”

Robert leveled a look. “Henry.”

“But—”

“I want to talk to you. Privately. Alone. ” Robert crooked an eyebrow. “Do you understand me?”

“Uhm, yeah,” he said. “Yeah, I... Okay, yeah, I’m comin’.”

Robert resumed walking, and Henry followed. The temperature climbed as they ascended. Halfway up, Robert’s pits were starting to sweat.

“Son of a bitch, it’s hot up here,” Robert huffed. “Hotter than hell, maybe.”

“Yeah, that’s kind of funny, ain’t it?” Henry said. “Since we’re in a church.”

Robert snorted. Geez, Henry was cute.

Finally, they reached the top. Robert let out a long breath and wiped the sweat from his brow as he looked around the space.

It was a solitary room. In the middle, there was a big bell hanging from the ceiling, though it wasn’t perched up particularly high.

If Robert had been a head or so taller, he could have leapt up and touched its metal mouth with his fingertips.

Dangling from the top of the bell, there was a thick rope, the loose end curled up in a pile on the floor.

Each of the four walls was taken up by stained glass windows, and the sunlight that was shining through them cast little colorful patterns on every other surface.

Henry spun in a small circle, taking it in.

“Goodness, Robert, it’s beautiful up here,” he said.

Fierce fondness tugged at Robert’s heart. When Henry stopped spinning, he looked at Robert with a smile. His eyes were shimmering with wonder and happiness, though there was still a heap of melancholy in those muddy browns.

“Yeah, it is beautiful, ain’t it?” Robert said.