Page 49 of Resilience on Canvas

Chapter Twenty-Five

Robert

“Goddamn son of a bitch economy!” Robert shouted, smacking the steering wheel.

“Dammit, even though we wasted a whole tank of fuel travelin’ through what feels like every Goddamn neighborhood of this Goddamn city, we somehow can’t seem to find one ‘Help Wanted’ sign without forty other fuckin’ people waitin’ outside of whatever the hell business it is. ”

Henry leaned forward to rest his forehead on the dashboard.

“I’m sorry, Robert.”

Robert sighed. “Me too.” He closed his eyes and whispered a soft, “Dammit.”

Why couldn’t they find nothing? It made no sense.

Even though the economy was the way it was, they were in a whole huge city.

How could there not be no work? Even with so many stores?

Sure, they had seen plenty of closed businesses lining the streets, but some of them were open, and the ones that were open had to need help, right?

But the only thing him and Henry had found in the whole city were lines.

Bread lines.

Soup kitchen lines .

Lines of folks waiting to be taken by truck out to the valley so they could pick fruit.

Lines. Lines. Lines.

Son of a bitch!

Letting out a small scream of frustration, Robert pounded the steering wheel once more.

Dammit, he couldn’t fail like this. Not when him and Henry had come so far.

Not when the fantasy of their future together was so close to becoming a reality.

Him and Henry were meant to make a life for themselves out here. Robert was sure of it.

And there wasn’t no way in hell that Robert was letting the Sherwoods literally raise his siblings for him, not when he had spent the entirety of his life so far protecting them and cooking for them and buying the things they needed for school.

He had worked so hard. Being their provider, that was who he was.

He wasn’t a leech like his father had been.

He wasn’t someone who let other people shoulder the burden of responsibility that should have been his.

No way in hell would Robert let Charles Sherwood become the provider for his family.

And yet . . .

When Robert closed his eyes, he found he couldn’t picture him and Henry’s future no more. All he could see were lines.

Hopelessness coiled in Robert’s stomach, the bleakness of the future tightening around him like a hungry man’s belt.

Robert was still lost in his godforsaken misery when he felt Henry pulling him in for a sideways cuddle-hug.

“Hen, not here,” Robert complained, his eyes fluttering open, though he couldn’t manage to make it sound like he was protesting for real, exactly.

Even though there wasn’t no one nearby, they were still in the middle of the city. It wasn’t smart for them to be being so brazen like this. But, oh, it was nice.. .

“Just one minute,” Henry said, squeezing tightly. “I think we earned one minute of closeness. We need it. At least, I need it.”

Robert hummed. “Yeah, I need it too.”

Henry clung to Robert for a few long minutes. After they parted, they both instinctively checked to see if they had been spotted cuddling. Thankfully, no one was around.

“Alright, now what?” Robert asked.

“Uhm...” Henry’s cheeks turned the cutest Goddamn shade of pink. “I have an idea, maybe? What if we spend some time on the beach? Just, you know, to see it? Maybe it’ll make us feel better. And when we’re feelin’ better, we can try to come up with a plan?”

Robert chewed on his lip, thinking this over. He still wanted to see the ocean. Up close. Not only in passing while they were scouring the streets for “Help Wanted” signs.

“Yeah, okay,” he said. “Not like I can stand the thought of searchin’ some more for work right now anyway. We might as well have fun before we head back to the house with our Goddamn tails between our legs.”

Robert took the car west, toward the ocean, and parked in front of a large sign for a tire shop.

Of course, Robert couldn’t help but check to see if they were hiring.

But there wasn’t no sign outside. And while there were a whole bunch of other cars parked nearby, there wasn’t no line in front of the business, neither.

Robert sighed. All them cars were parked here because of the beach, which was only on the other side of the busy road.

After Robert climbed out of the truck, he sucked in a long inhale through his nose, relishing the salty scent of the sea, one he had smelled faintly in parts of the city.

But none of those little whiffs of the ocean had even begun to compare to the intensity of it here, right by the water.

Some kind of bird cawed loudly overhead .

Together, Robert and Henry walked to the beach, and when Henry first stepped on the uneven mound of sand, he nearly lost his footing and stumbled. But Robert steadied him.

“Good God, we’re finally here,” Henry said, wonderment in his voice, his brown eyes sparkling with hope.

Robert smiled. “Yep.”

Watching the waves crash, Robert felt a surge of hope swell up in his heart. Holy hell. Him and Henry had made it to California. Life had fought them every step of the way, but every single time, they had fought back harder. Life had tried to break them, but they had persisted.

Son of a bitch, they traveled over one thousand miles together, overcoming every Goddamn obstacle so far, and had somehow made it to the Promised Land.

Robert refused to give up hope for their future now.

“Hey, Hen?” Robert said, shielding his eyes from the sun.

“Yeah?”

“I want to keep fightin’ for the life we want.”

Henry tilted his head. He was smiling a lopsided smile that suggested what Robert was telling him wasn’t nothing new.

“I know.”

“We’ll find work. I know we will. Things will be rough for a while, maybe, but we’ll manage, the two of us. I still think we can take care of everybody—Clara and May and the twins.”

“I think so, too, Robert.”

Robert nodded, the certainty in Henry’s voice bringing with it another swell of hope, rising and crashing in his heart, flooding his whole body with a warm rush of contentment.

Looking out over the ocean, Robert conjured up the vision of him and Henry’s future together, the one he had been picturing for weeks before they left for the coast. One with sunshine and the ocean and a home of their own and rows of beautiful fruit trees .

Robert’s eyes widened.

Fruit trees.

He turned back to Henry and said, “What if we try that little farmin’ community?”

“Do you mean the one we saw on the way to the city?”

“Yeah.”

Henry chewed on his lip, his brow furrowing like he was thinking it over.

“I think that could work. Over the next couple of weeks, we can save up ’til we can rent a little house or somethin’.

I mean, they have them trucks that head out there, right?

We could take one of them to the fields every mornin’ and then take one back home to wherever we’re livin’ when we finished workin’ in the fields. ”

“Yeah!” Robert smacked Henry’s bicep with the back of his hand. “See, the two of us, we figured it out. Give two strong men like us a week or so, and we’ll have enough for a little place. It might take a bit longer for us to pay yer parents back for everything, but we will. Eventually.”

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be too long, I wouldn’t think.”

“Nah, it won’t be.”

Robert and Henry smiled at each other.

They stood like that for a few more minutes, enjoying each other’s company and listening to the waves crash on the shoreline.

***

In the evening, once the sun had set and everyone was busy settling in for the night, Robert snuck out to sit on the stoop so that he could have some time to himself before bed.

Inside, Henry was playing checkers with Joe in the main room while Rose and Clara were chatting in the kitchen.

Thomas, Peter, and May were in their rooms, snoozing peacefully.

Thankfully, supper had been much more pleasant earlier that evening, with no biting commentary from Charles Sherwood on Robert and Henry’s plan.

And so, Robert was still feeling hopeful, his heart so full of optimism, it seemed as though it might burst.

Inhaling deeply, Robert looked up at the sky—somehow the same one he had seen every night in Guymon, Oklahoma, though the lights of the city were washing out some of the brilliance of the stars and making it look like a new sky entirely—and smiled wistfully as he realized how far he had come.

Ever since the Davis family had lost their matriarch, Robert had been searching for a way to better their lives.

Over the years, he had tried many things to secure safety and health and contentment for himself and his siblings.

But nothing had ever panned out. Had Robert been a less stubborn man, perhaps he might have resigned himself to the life so many others were still living in the plains, one of hopelessness and helplessness, seeing his family wither and crumble, only to blow away with the infertile topsoil of the now-barren farmland.

But he had remained steadfast, even when faced with the new struggles that had come to light in the wake of his father’s passing, and soon he would reap the rewards of his persistence. He could hardly wait.

Behind him, someone turned the doorknob, and the pop sound that followed pulled Robert out of his thoughts. He turned to see Clara and Rose coming out onto the stoop, with Clara carrying what looked to be a packet of cigarettes.

“Hi,” she said, settling beside him. Rose sat on the other side of her. Clara held out the red and white package of smokes for Robert to take. “I bought these for you today. ”

Robert smiled and shook his head. “Ah, you shouldn’t have spent the money.”

“I know, but I had a couple of nickels left, and I couldn’t stop thinkin’ about yesterday’s supper. With how mad you were, I thought you could probably use one.”