Page 22 of Resilience on Canvas

“Now there’s something every parent wants to hear,” Mr. Sherwood said. Smiling, he threw Henry a nod. “Good work, son.”

Henry tucked his head into his shoulders a little. “Thanks.”

Robert smiled proudly, and his stomach stopped churning.

Somehow, he made it through the rest of the meal without issue.

After everyone was finished eating, Clara helped Mrs. Sherwood clean up in the kitchen while Henry, Henry’s father, and the children left for the front room.

Robert stayed in his chair, wondering how the hell he was supposed to handle his friendship with Henry.

He wanted nothing more than for the two of them to be together.

Together together. He wanted it more than even surviving this never-ending hell storm of topsoil that had ravaged their land.

But it wasn’t only what he wanted that mattered.

Robert had his whole family to consider.

And he hadn’t the slightest clue what the hell he ought to do.

After a few minutes, Henry came back into the dining room .

“I, uhm, I thought I could take y’all home myself,” he said, rubbing his bicep with his opposite hand. “Unless you would rather walk?”

Robert’s eyebrows shot up, hopeful excitement bursting to life in his chest.

“No, Hen, of course you can take us home.” Holy hell, more time with Henry.

Robert could barely believe it. It was as though God had taken pity on him for once.

Whether him and Henry stayed friends or whether they became something more, Robert couldn’t help but want the two of them to spend as much time together as they could.

“Would you wanna stay, too? I mean, once Thomas and Peter and May are in bed, we could—”

“Yeah,” Henry said, cutting him off. “Definitely, yes. I’ll stay however long you want me to stay. I have nowhere else to be. Nope. Nowhere.”

Robert snorted. Good God, Henry was something else. Charming without even trying to be. Sweet, too. Sweeter than the finest marmalade.

“Alright, well, we better head back, then,” Robert said, pushing himself to stand.

And then, oh God, some terrible, horrible, shameful, wonderful idea popped into his head.

He couldn’t have stopped the next words from tumbling out of his mouth if he had tried.

But, of course, he hadn’t tried. Not even a little.

“Bring yer pilla. Just in case. Because our couch would be comfy enough for you to sleep on, I think, if the two of us wind up... losin’ track of time. ”

Henry’s eyes widened and he sucked in a fast breath.

Through an exhale, he said, “Yeah, I can foresee that happenin’, maybe.”

Whether the two men would spend the bulk of the night talking or kissing, Robert wasn’t sure. But there was one thing he was sure of, which was that he wanted to spend the entirety of it—every Goddamn second—as close to Henry Sherwood as possible.

“No, not maybe,” Robert said, his voice low and raspy and tantalizing, even to himself. “I think we ought to count on it.”

Henry let out a little sound, one that was like a happy whimper.

And boy, if that wasn’t the sweetest sound Robert had ever heard.

***

It was maybe an hour and a half later when Robert finally finished putting the kids to bed.

By some miracle, his pop hadn’t yet woken up, and so, bedtime had gone much more smoothly than Robert had anticipated.

The worst part of it had been that Robert had to clear the room of crickets and cockroaches before the kids could get into bed.

Damn bugs seemed to think they owned the place whenever Robert was out for too long.

But other than that, bedtime had been a breeze.

With the little ones safe in their bedrooms and Clara relaxing on the couch, Robert went outside to find Henry.

Having figured that bedtime would be a small nightmare, with Raymond Davis either hollering to try to pick a fight or otherwise insisting that everyone listen to one of his half-coherent stories, Robert had made Henry wait in his car.

He hadn’t wanted his pop to embarrass him. Again.

But Robert found Henry sitting on the porch instead.

“I was tired of sittin’ in the car. Sorry.”

“Didn’t you hear how peaceful it was in there?” Robert asked, turning up the first of two oil lamps they had out on the porch. “ I read May one of her bedtime stories while Clara read one to the boys, and then it was lights out. Easy as pie.”

Dipping his head, Henry smiled and said, “So, uhm, what should we do?”

“I want to relax with a cigarette.” Robert took the second porch light off of the wall and increased the flame. He moved to the edge of the porch and leaned over the railing, craning his head to see the sky. “Ain’t too bad out here. Not too much dust in the air. Want to sit with me on the roof?”

“On the roof ?”

“Yeah, the roof. Weren’t you ever a kid?

It’s nice up there. We can enjoy the stars.

” Holding onto one of the posts, Robert climbed up onto the porch railing.

He reached up and set the lamp on the edge of the rooftop.

“And if you end up havin’ fun up there, I won’t feel so bad for makin’ you stay outside longer while I have a smoke. ”

Robert hoisted himself up onto the porch roof, which was flat enough for them to lie on comfortably, and then Henry stood up on the porch railing, too, but wobbled a little.

With a snort, Robert reached out to offer Henry his hand.

Henry clutched onto it, and the feel of Henry’s skin sent little tremors of want rippling through Robert’s body, making his breath catch.

What a fine plan this turned out to be. It was the perfect excuse to hold Henry’s hand.

Henry struggled to hoist himself up.

“How’d you make this work?” Henry asked, relaxing his muscles and setting his feet back onto the railing. “I can’t pull myself up like that.”

Robert pointed toward the window. “Gotta put yer foot on the winda ledge while you climb.”

“Alright, let me try again.”

Henry tried once more, and this time, he succeeded in pulling himself up.

Still holding Henry’s hand, Robert scooted backward, making a path in the thick layer of brown dust that had settled up there, and when he reached a spot toward the middle of the porch, he swept his free hand back and forth a couple of times to clear a place for his head.

Henry copied him, clearing himself a spot while clicking his tongue.

“Gosh, it’s terrible what’s happenin’ to our land,” he said.

“No kiddin’.”

Once they had both cleared spots for their heads, Robert froze, and Henry seemed to as well.

They had a choice to make. Robert was holding Henry’s right hand with his own right hand, which meant that they couldn’t sit next to each other like this.

Either they’d have to sit facing each other on their knees, which wouldn’t make watching the sky too easy, or they’d have to let go.

And that would only put both of them in a position to make another choice, which was whether or not they ought to hold hands some more once they were settled.

Robert’s breath shook. Christ, this was big.

If he and Henry started holding hands, like really holding hands, that would mean something.

Could Robert stand to risk everything he had been working for?

Henry must have been thinking the same Goddamn thing because his eyes fell to their linked hands and he squirmed a little.

“Uhm . . .”

Gosh, he was cute. Robert had to risk it. He had to.

Heart hammering, Robert released Henry’s hand and then reclined back.

Henry, the sweet thing that he was, opened and closed his newly freed hand a few times, like he was surprised by the feel of it.

Smiling to himself, Robert took out a cigarette from his tin—his last one—and lit it.

Henry was still sitting up, seemingly unsure of himself, when Robert finished lighting it.

He transferred the cigarette to his right hand and then reached out and snatched Henry’s hand with his left, concentrating on keeping himself from either smiling too much or trembling from nervousness.

God, he hadn’t never thought he could be so happy but so terrified at the same time.

Slowly, Henry reclined back too, and the two looked up at the sky.

But, hell, the stars weren’t even close to as beautiful as Henry was.

“Thanks for stayin’ here so late, Hen,” Robert said before taking a puff of his cigarette. Blowing out the smoke helped calm him a little, enough to try to broach the topic he couldn’t let Henry bring up earlier. “I like bein’ with you. Hell, I would be with you all the time if I could.”

“Yeah, me too, Robert.”

Henry squeezed Robert’s hand, and Robert squeezed back.

“We can’t tell no one about whatever this is,” Robert said, lifting their linked hands.

He smoked a little more, trying to find the words.

“Can’t have people shunnin’ me or... or shunnin’ my family, neither.

If people stopped buyin’ our pitiful little vegetable hauls or if I lost my shifts in the store, I might as well start shovelin’ our graves.

Save the town the trouble. We can be buried right here on our fuckin’ failure of a farm. ”

Henry shifted uncomfortably.

“Do you think people can see us up here?”

“Nah, my neighbors are asleep by now. And their farm is pretty far.” Robert pointed with his hand that was holding the cigarette over toward the closest farmhouse.

“That house there is the closest, and still, it’s a ways away.

” He lulled his head to the side. “No one can see that we’re holdin’ hands, Hen. Don’t worry.”

Henry smiled a little. Robert squeezed his hand again. Gosh, it felt so right for them to be linked like this. It was a perfect fit, like they were made for each other. Forget what the church said, God had created Henry Sherwood especially for him.

Robert took a puff of his cigarette and held it out toward Henry.

“Last chance,” Robert said. “I won’t be buyin’ no more tobacco. Can’t afford it. And this here is my last cigarette.”

“Yeah, okay, I’ll... I’ll try some,” Henry said, his voice wavering as he took it.

He brought the cigarette to his lips. Not two seconds later, Henry, sweet little lamb that he was, started sputtering and coughing.

He sat up and handed the cigarette back to Robert, who snuffed it out on the roof.

Henry continued to cough. Releasing Henry’s hand, Robert sat up with him and began patting Henry’s back.

“Christ, Hen, I’m sorry,” he said, though he couldn’t help but laugh a little.

After a few more seconds, Henry stopped coughing. Groaning, he put his head in his hands.

“Gosh, I must seem pathetic.”

“Nah, not pathetic. Innocent. In a sweet kind of way.”

“Gee, thanks,” Henry mumbled, removing his hands, and then his mouth set into a frown. He wouldn’t even meet Robert’s eyes.

Robert took Henry’s hand again, hoping he could make Henry’s smile come back.

“Don’t be like that,” Robert said. “Remember what I said earlier? I’m impressed by you, Henry Sherwood. Yer smart and kind, and you have this... this incredible sweetness about you. And you know how much I like sweet things.”

Henry’s lips curled into a smile. After a moment, Henry looked up from his shoes, and he and Robert locked eyes.

They sat there, staring at each other, and Robert’s stomach tumbled again as everything else fell away.

Right then and there, every single one of Robert’s worries and sorrows ceased to exist. It was like the two of them were the only people left in the whole entire world.

Son of a bitch, this was it. Robert was ready to kiss Henry. He was ready to kiss the sweet puppy-man he had started falling for. The lovable little lamb with a secret bit of wolf in him. Holy hell. Heart thudding wildly, Robert inched his face closer.

“Robert!” Clara cried out from below, her voice wrought with panic.

Goddamn son of a bitch. Now what?

“Yeah?” he shouted back.

“Come back inside, please! There’s something wrong with Pop!”

Christ, of course there was.

“Alright!” he said. “I’ll be right there!”

Clara went back into the house, and Robert heaved a sigh.

“Sorry, Hen,” he said. “Goddamn bastard old man of mine keeps ruinin’ things for us.”

“It’s no problem,” Henry said with a shrug. “Family can be, uhm, complicated.”

“Yeah.” Robert ran his free hand through his hair. “Well, I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe?”

Henry pouted. “Should I not stay no more? I have my pilla in my car still.”

“Probably not. Clara’s never sounded like that before. Well, not since our ma...”

Robert trailed off, and Henry squeezed Robert’s hand.

“Well, I, uhm, I hope it ain’t nothin’ like that,” Henry said.

Robert only shrugged. In truth, he wasn’t too sure what he was hoping for.

“I’ll come to the store tomorrow,” he said. “Yer workin’, right?”

“Yup. I start work at noon,” Henry confirmed with a nod .

“Alright, well, I’ll come by then,” Robert said. “And you can visit me when I work on Friday. Maybe we could come up here if it’s nice out that night. We can leave the store together, have supper, and then... then maybe we can have some time to ourselves.”

Henry smiled sweetly, and Robert’s stomach tumbled again.

“That would be nice,” Henry said.

Clara threw open the window, and both men startled from the clatter.

“Robert!”

“I’ll be right there!” Robert yelled. “Just sayin’ bye to Henry first!”

“Well, hurry!”

Robert rolled his eyes, and then he and Henry stood together, still holding hands. When they reached the edge of the porch, Robert squeezed one more time before letting go. Henry scrambled down first, followed by Robert, who took the lamp with him.

“Well, uhm, see you,” Henry said before turning to walk to his car.

Robert caught his hand. He just had to hold it one more time.

“Goodnight, Hen,” he said, squeezing Henry’s fingers.

Henry smiled. “Night, Robert.”

Robert watched Henry climb into his car.

And then he turned to face whatever the hell was waiting for him inside.