Page 36

CHATPER THIRTY-SIX

FORD

Let this be a lesson to people everywhere: Don’t text when you’re angry.

Also, don’t leave the gorgeous woman in your arms to do so.

I didn’t heed my own advice, and now I’m sitting here spinning my wheels, trying to figure out where the hell I went wrong. I’m also wondering if I can slip back into bed without Juliet noticing I was ever gone.

My brain hurts.

To be fair, this probably needed to happen on all fronts. I shouldn’t have stayed in bed with Juliet as long as I did. It only served to make me want to have her in my arms every night and wake up to her soft little snores.

And starting that group chat with Mercer and Soph was a long time coming. We needed the opportunity to call each other out. Even if I disagree wholeheartedly with his observations.

We want what’s best for him. To help make the transition from Chicago to New York a smooth one. We want him to know he’s not alone, especially after everyone bailed on him and allowed the court of public opinion to reign supreme.

I just don’t understand how any of that could be seen as a bad thing.

“Hey, is everything okay?”

Juliet’s voice pulls me from my thoughts, and I glance up to where she’s standing on the other side of the kitchen island.

She’s a fucking vision in a pair of sleep shorts and an oversized Blues t-shirt she very clearly stole from the closet in the guest room. Not that I mind. She looks good wearing me. Especially when she’s without a bra with her nipples on display just below the team logo.

“Yeah,” I mutter, willing my cock to behave. “Everything’s fine. Why?”

“It’s just when I walked out here you didn’t even look up, and you were staring at your phone like—” she gasps. “What happened to your phone?”

I glance down at the still shattered screen and then over at where her demon spawn of a cat has jumped up on the island. “It fell off the counter. But I already ordered another one. It should come in later today.”

Lodhi meows and I hope he recognizes I just kept him from getting a scolding.

“Oh, good.” Juliet rounds the island and opens the upper cupboard where we keep the cat food.

As she rolls onto her tiptoes and reaches for it, my eyes drift to the spot where ass cheeks peek out from her shorts and give way to her long tan legs. I’m fully aware I should offer to help her, but the view of her padding around my kitchen, doing mundane tasks and showing off hints of my favorite body parts is infinitely helping my mood.

My thoughts drift to last night and the sight of her naked, writhing above me as she rode my mouth to what looked like a top ten orgasm.

So much for my dick not taking notice.

Then again, I should’ve known that it was a losing battle where Juliet is concerned.

She winces as she bends down and grabs his bowl, and it’s like a bucket of cold water is thrown over my libido.

“Are you okay?” I ask, rounding the island. I take the bowl from her and finish scooping the food for her damn cat.

Juliet sighs. “I’m fine. Just a little sore this morning.”

I arch a brow. “From what we…”

“No. Hashi’s flare up. My body just hates me today.”

I can’t even imagine what that’s like. And yet Juliet talks about it like it’s no big deal. Like it’s just a part of her life. Which I guess it is. But I still hate it for her. It just seems like a shit card to be dealt. I don’t know what I would do if one day I woke up, and my body decided it wasn’t going to cooperate anymore.

“Can I get you anything to help?” I know from the last time that sleep and relaxing are the best remedy.

“Got a new thyroid lying around?”

“Nope.”

“Well, that’s a shame, but in lieu of that, you can tell me the truth about what’s bothering you?”

My eyes narrow, and I debate for a second on insisting it’s nothing. But then I remember the honesty she gave me last night and instantly feel like shit for even considering telling her anything but the truth. At the same time, I’m pretty sure I’m going to regret having this conversation with her.

“Do you feel like you owe me because I helped you?”

Juliet tilts her head to the side, looking out the floor to ceiling window across the apartment like the birds flying over the river are going to help her unpack all the layers of my question. Seconds pass like hours and then she hits me with, “Yes and no.”

Seriously? “Can you clarify that a little bit?”

She backs up and rounds the island to the coffee maker. Grabbing a mug she pours herself a cup. “Yes, I feel like I need to repay you for the money you’ve covered for me. And I’d like to help contribute to the apartment as long as I’m living here.”

I open my mouth to tell her neither of those things is necessary, but she holds a hand up, stopping me.

“I know you don’t expect me to, but that’s how I feel. On the other hand, when it comes to you teaching me how to date, I don’t feel like I owe you anything. Except maybe an orgasm or two, but you already promised I could repay you those.”

My core tightens, and I have to suck my cheek between my teeth to stifle my groan. “Fucking hell, Juliet. You can’t say shit like that over coffee like it’s no big deal.”

Before yesterday, she would’ve never considered it.

Hell, she wouldn’t have even come out of her room while I was still in the apartment because she was embarrassed I heard her come.

Last night, something changed between us.

No. Something changed for Juliet. I’ve been well aware that I want more from her since before we started this little dating experiment.

Pride blooms in my chest. Change is good. Her finding that confidence is good.

“You asked,” she replies with a shrug and a sly smile, only for it to fall a split second later. “Why the sudden need to break it down? Do you want me to owe you?”

“Not at all.” My words tumble out fast, but they’re meant to reassure her. I run a hand through my hair and pray I didn’t just force her to take two steps back. “There isn’t a single thing I’ve done for you that I wouldn’t do again in a heartbeat.”

“Okay.” Her voice is steady as she grabs my half-filled coffee mug and tops it off. “So, then what has you twisted in knots over this?”

I dip my head in thanks and take a sip, burning my tongue. The pain is worth it though, since it gives me a second to find the right words. “Mercer came to town a few weeks ago and didn’t tell Soph or me.”

“And you’re upset he kept that from you?”

“Fuck yes.” I raise my voice and immediately regret it when Juliet flinches. Shit. I close my eyes and force myself to breathe. “We were his closest friends in Chicago. I—how could he come here and not tell us?”

Juliet’s eyes soften, and I swear there’s an understanding I can’t place. “Do you think maybe he just needs time to figure things out?”

“I’m sure he does. He’s been through a lot.” Damn it, am I the asshole? A frustrated sigh bubbles from deep in my chest. “I’m trying to understand, but it just feels like a slap in the face after all the things we’ve done for him.”

“But maybe it’s not about you. Sometimes it’s easier to figure things out without the people who love you most breathing down your neck.”

My stomach drops out my ass, and I flinch when I find Juliet’s eyes locked on her coffee and her lips pressed together, holding back whatever she was about to say next.

“Are you speaking from experience?” I whisper, doing my best to hide the panic sitting on my chest like a dumbbell.

Please say no. Please say I’m not too much for you too .

“When Tyler died in the crash and Saul and his guys showed up looking for money, I cut ties with my parents to keep them safe. Over time, I knew I could’ve reached out to them or, at a minimum, let them know I was okay. But I didn’t.” She swallows hard, but when she glances up again, a small smile tips the right side of her lips. “And then you came along and helped me get back on my feet in a way that allowed me to actually consider a future that wasn’t tethered to chasing debts. I’m free of the chains that made it impossible to be close to my family and yet, I still haven’t reached out to them.”

“Why not?” It’s a topic I haven’t wanted to push her on, despite the numerous calls and texts I’ve dodged from her family. It’s another thing I can’t comprehend. Because I’d give anything to call my mom or hell, even my dad.

“It’s not that I don’t want to.I do. But right now, I feel like I’m trying to figure out who I am and what comes next for me, and that’s easier to do without those who love me trying to tell me who I am.”

Is that what I’m trying to do?

It’s not like Mercer has given me the chance to do so. But if he did, I can’t deny that maybe I would find myself guilty of doing exactly that. I would’ve told him that being a Renegade means being part of a team. That he has to keep his nose clean and wear the black and orange with honor. But I also would have told him he’s a good man and not to listen to the things the tabloids have been saying. That even though they have a loud voice, this team will be louder when it counts.

Juliet watches me curiously, and it’s almost as if doing so allowed her to hear my thoughts and respond perfectly. “You can be a lot when you put your mind to helping someone.”

“But you let me stick around.”

“You hulk smashed your way in.” She huffs a playful laugh and takes another sip of coffee, spilling a little from the corner of her mouth. “But I needed that. Maybe after everything, Mercer just needs some space to figure out who he is now and where he fits in the grand scheme of things.”

“I don’t like it.” It hurts to admit out loud. “But maybe you’re right.”

She absolutely is, and I definitely owe Mercer an apology.

“Can I get that in writing?” Juliet grabs the notepad and pen I keep on the counter for grocery lists and pushes it across the island to me. “Because I’m going to remind you of this moment, the next time you try to tell me shoes belong under the bed.”

I roll my eyes. Not this again. “It’s just easier to slip them on when I can toe them out from under there.”

“That’s not a thing.”

I shake my head, and even though I won’t concede she’s right—because seriously, shoes you wear daily don’t need to be in the closet—I’d consider it if it meant I got to have more mornings like this. Just Juliet and me, talking over coffee, war-gaming our problems.

It’s borderline unfair how right this feels.

And don’t get me started on last night.

Fuck. I’m ruined for anyone else but her.

Utterly destroyed.

I set my coffee down and padaround the island, giving into the need to have her in my arms. When she doesn’t flinch or pull away, I tighten my grip. “Thank you for being my sounding board.”

She shrugs. “You’ve been mine these last few weeks. I figured it was only right to return the favor.”

I press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Along with orgasms, right?”

She giggles. Like girly giggles. And right then I decide it’s my favorite sound. One I will absolutely make my mission to hear more.

Juliet wraps her arms around me and laces her fingers. She leans back into my arms and hits me with a lopsided grin. “I suppose I did say that.”

“Come to my game tonight.” The words come straight from my heart and tumble out faster than my brain can comprehend with only one goal in mind: Keep showing her how things could be and maybe she’ll stay.

Then I remember she’s not feeling the best. “I mean, you don’t have to if you’re not feeling up to it.”

“I’m fine,” she reassures me. “Are you sure you wouldn’t rather have the orgasm I offered?”

My jaw drops.

“Fuck, love.” Who is this woman, and what has she done with my Juliet? Is this what love and orgasms do to her? If so, then sign me up for life.

“I like it when you call me that,” she whispers like it’s a secret no one but me is allowed to know.

I raise a brow and lean in, hovering so my lips are a hair's breadth away from hers. “Do you now?”

Her tongue darts out, and I can feel the heat of her mouth skirting mine when she nods. “It makes me feel important.”

“You are important.” You’re everything.

“Then I’ll come to your game,” she says, placing her hands on my chest.

“Are you sure?” My gaze drops and traces the red splotches on her knuckles.

“It’s not as bad as before. Especially if I relax from now until then.”

I narrow my gaze, silently letting her know if she’s lying there will be hell to pay.

“I promise, Ford. I want to come to your game tonight.”

Wants.

She wants to be there.

“Fine.” I dart my tongue out, teasing her lower lip. “And if I win, maybe you’ll come tonight.”

Juliet shakes her head. “I think it’s your turn.”

“I guess I better win then.”

“Good luck with that.”

I steal a kiss and seal the deal.

But I won’t need luck.

Not when she’s there.