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CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR

JULIET

I look down at the hand Ford is offering me and without a second thought, place mine in his.

Even if I’m not invincible.

I’m also not broken.

I want this with him.

And even though just how much I do scares me a little, I am more scared that if I don’t push myself to experience these things in a safe way, then I’ll either never try to connect with someone again or will do so with a man who will take advantage of me.

What I don’t want to do is let Tyler take one more thing away from me.

Ford leans past me and opens the door before leading me into my bedroom. Once we reach the bed, he gives my hand a squeeze. “Wait here.”

I watch curiously as he heads over to the closet that is half my things and half his old team shirts and miscellaneous uniforms. When he turns around, he’s holding one of the bright orange belts he’d usually wear on game day.

“Your belt?”

“Can you trust me?” His lips tip into a mischievous grin, and for a split second, apprehension slithers through me. But I’m already standing half naked and have cried into his chest, so really what do I have to lose?

“As long as you’re not going to spank me with it,” I tease.

He arches a brow. “Is that something you would like?”

“No.” Definitely not a kink I have.

“Good, because it’s not really my thing either.” He reaches up and tugs off his T-shirt, and my eyes are glued to the hard planes of his chest. The way his muscles dip and cave should be illegal. Lock me up and throw away the key. I’ll gladly go to jail for the opportunity to marvel at them.

And then he adds, “But bondage, I can get behind.”

My mouth goes dry.

“You want to tie me up with that?” I ask, voice high even though I don’t hate the thought of it.

“Oh no, love.” He chuckles, and I go weak at the knees for his endearment. “I want you to tie me up.”

My eyes dart to the belt and back up. “You want me to tie you up with that?”

“I want you to allow me to respect your boundaries.” He wraps the belt around his wrists so they’re cuffed, then offers me the ends to buckle them together.

“And how does that work?”

“It gives you control.” He steps forward and thrusts his hands into mine, waiting to continue until I’ve finished securing the buckle. “And makes it impossible for me to grab your hips when you sit on my face.”

My jaw drops and I blink, my mind fumbling to make sure I heard him correctly. “Excuse me?”

He wants me to do what?

Ford’s lips twitch into a devilish grin. “You heard me.”

He plops down on the bed and scoots to the center. Once he’s situated, Ford lifts his hands and hooks the belt on the ornate metal bed frame. He cranes his neck and looks over to where I’m still standing in shock.

“Come on, Juliet. That sexy little cunt of yours isn’t going to come all on its own.”

The mouth on this man.

Drunk butterflies take flight low in my belly, but I fight their presence by hugging the blanket tighter around me. “Ford, I can’t?—”

“You can and you will.”

I twist my hands in front of me. “I’ve never done this before.”

“Well, I’m honored to be your first, then.”

“Can’t we just do it like we did before?” Do I really have to sit on his face? What if he can’t breathe? I can’t be responsible for killing him.

“Any knight can kneel before you and pledge his loyalty, but only a man worth being your king will offer to be your throne.”

“And are you a man worth being my king?”

I tease him because I don’t know what to say when he makes valid points. Especially when my mind screams, please say no , but my heart argues, he could be .

How the hell did we end up here?

“Maybe someday.” He shrugs like he isn’t insinuating he wants to be that man. “Right now, I’m just the lucky bastard who gets to teach you the difference.”

God, he’s infuriating.

And incredible.

And right.

Ford might be teaching me to spot red flags, but he’s also setting the standard.

“Come on, love,” he provokes, even though he’s the one strung up on the bed. “Let me show you the way a queen comes.”

“Fine, you win,” I say with a smile, as if he hasn’t made the choice entirely mine.

My breath hitches, and I drop the blanket to the floor, consumed by the way his eyes devour me. It spurs me to take this moment one step further and give him a gift in return for his service.

His eyes track my hands when I skirt them along my stomach where my shirt meets skin. He lets out a string of curses when I grip the material and pull it over my head, leaving me standing in nothing but my birthday suit.

“Fuck, Juliet,” he growls,sucking his lower lip between his teeth, and I think about the way it tasted when he kissed me—like freedom and recklessness, served over ice with a twist of citrus.

In other words—divine.

He looks at me like I hung the damn moon, and not for the first time, I hate that this isn’t real. Even if he just told me that maybe someday it could be. I know better. We won’t work. I’m not meant to be his penguin. And he’s not meant to be mine. I don’t want the spotlight of being a professional athlete's girl. I don’t think I ever did, but when Tyler wouldn’t give me that role, I craved it. Love makes you do stupid things. And at the end of the day, I’m not sure love is enough.

I can see now that I like being at home with Lodhi curled up with a good book. Ford might not go out right now because I’m tethered to him, but he’ll miss it and go back to his old ways.

We’ll still be friends. Albeit friends who have seen each other naked and heard each other come—because turnabout is fair play. I will hear him come at some point now that he’s on his way to hearing me twice over. But I think I’m okay with that.

Or at least this is what I keep telling myself. Because when he looks at me like he is now, I’m liable to stay naked in his apartment forever.

And that’s just not possible.

“Where’d you go, Juliet?” he asks.

“Nowhere important.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but when I lower myself to the bed and crawl to the center, all he manages to let loose is a string of muttered curses.

When I reach him, Iswing my leg over so I hover above his chest, looking down past my hard nipples at his wicked smile.

“That’s it. Now slide forward and put your knees between my head and arms. Let me wear your thighs as earmuffs.”

A soft laugh escapes me as I follow his instructions. Leave it to Ford to make something so dirty and intimate funny just to ease my nerves.

“God, you’re beautiful.” The husky rasp of his voice settles in my core as his breath sweeps over my sensitive flesh.

Ford strains his neck andplaces soft lingering kisses on the inside of my thigh. “Now, let me be your throne, Juliet.”

I slowly lower myself, butFord doesn’t waste another moment. Using those sexy ab muscles, helifts himself to my pussy and flicks my clit with the tip of his tongue. A jolt of pure need shoots through me, causing me to lose my balance and fall onto Ford's face.

He hums his approval against my clit. “You taste so fucking good.”

His tongue slips to my entrance, and he delves it deep, thrusting in time with my bucking hips.

He laps, flicks, and circles. All the while, I’m struggling to keep some semblance of control.

It was one thing to get myself off. That was thrilling, but it was also safe. There’s no way my fingers could ever grab too hard or push too far. But this—Ford is in control of my body—my pleasure. And yet. He’s not. At any moment, I could get up and walk away, and he’d let me. His hands are tied together, clutching the headboard to protect my boundaries.

It’s raw. Intimate. Intoxicating.

My hips rockin time with each curled thrust of his tongue, and my tits bounce freely as I chase the orgasm promised to me. It’s right there. I can feel it brewing, building just out of reach.

Ford must sense it because he picks that moment to suck my clit hard between his lips and growl around the sensitive nub, sending vibrations through me.

That’s all it takes for my body to hurl me over the edge. There’s no warning. No testing the water to see if it’s the right temperature. Just a cannonball of pure ecstasy.

I’m not prepared.

If I were, I'd be embarrassed by the way my thighs clench around Ford's head, pulsing with every contraction of my pussy. Or the way my hand tangles in his hair, holding his face against me as I fully give into my depravity and ride his lips with reckless abandon.

But I’m too far gone to care about any of that.

Ford hums his constant approval against my overstimulated clit, and as much as I want to pull away, my legs are a shaking mess, and I’m helpless to do anything but writhe against his ministrations. They turn to lazy strokes, and I watch as he laps up every drop of my arousal.

“Mmm.” He pulls back and grins, his lips glistening. “Did you know you taste sweeter right before you come?”

Heat fills my already crimson cheeks. “I’ll add that to the list of things to my dating resume.”

He growls and unhooks his hands from the bedframe and releases them from the belt, proving his respect for my boundaries was all him and not a result of the circumstances. His arms wrap around my waist, and he lifts me in one fluid stroke so I’m sitting beside him. It only lasts for a moment, though before he rolls onto his side and tugs me down into his arms. He curls around me, my back pressed to his chest.

He nestles his nose into the crook of my neck. “I’m going to need you to refrain from mentioning the fact you’ll be going on any other dates in the future. Especially while my lips are coated in your cum.”

“Does it make you jealous?” I’m not sure why I poke the bear, but it seems at the moment there aren’t any walls between us, and I need to know.

His arms tighten around me, and I feel the rumble that accompanies his words. “I’ve never been the jealous type, but when it comes to you, I just might be.”

When it comes to him, I just might be too.

I scoot back into his chest, getting comfortable so I don’t have to think about how, right now, everything about Ford lives in that space of maybe and might be.

That is until I feel the unmistakable hardness nestled perfectly against my ass.

“Do you want me to?—”

“No.” He cuts me off and presses a kiss right behind my ear. “Tonight is about you, and claiming your kingdom.”

I don’t like it, but I play along. “And did I?”

Ford chuckles. “I’ll forever be your loyal subject.”

“But—”

“Relax, Juliet. Next time, you can take care of me.”

I let loose a yawn, suddenly overcome by all the night’s excitement and that earth shattering orgasm. “Promise?”

“It might be the death of me, but yes.”

“I’m going to hold you to it.” My words slur as my eyes flutter shut and relax into the warmth of his embrace.

And I swear, just before sleep takes me, I hear him whisper, “I’ll die a happy man.”